"Don't bring him up as a white baby" - Rant - Page 2

AbbynChloe · Jan 13th, 2012, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TattiesMum

Thank you all

- I didn't know if I was over-reacting

It just made me so mad

Isn't it this sort of attitude that perpetuates racism?

Kaylum is just Kaylum ... adorable, funny, full of beans and oblivious to skin tones or what colour he is 'supposed to be'

Abbey - your daughter is gorgeous

Aww tatties mum, thank you - I do think she is rather delicious!!!

TattiesMum · Jan 13th, 2012, 15:25 PM

She's positively edible! How old is she?

AbbynChloe · Jan 14th, 2012, 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TattiesMum

She's positively edible! How old is she?

She was three in October :-) i'm getting a little better and will put trackers up and everything!! lol

WantingABubba · Mar 3rd, 2012, 14:55 PM

he sounds like an idiot.

Furthermore, your Grandson is 75% white, and only 25% black.

Why does he care?!

I'm TTC with my boyfriend, who's white, and I'm mixed. My baby will be mixed, technically, but I won't force them into either box, as I hate it myself.

Both you and your daughter sound like smart, well-adjusted people, and she done the right thing.

(Sorry, this post was a bit jumbled - you get the gist, right?

)

whoknowsx · Mar 3rd, 2012, 20:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BintUmmi

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbbynChloe

as a mum of a beautiful mixed race daughter, I bring her up to be herself, she is not aware of her skin tone, and I will do my best to make sure it never becomes an issue for her.

^ this!

While this is all fine and dandy I cant help but feel that we are living in a fake utopian of a world. Skin tone limits alot in society and pretending like it doesn't will only make her skin tone that much MORE of an issue.

I think that this man definitely came at OP with the wrong attitude and arrogance but his desire that the child also knows that he is black, and perhaps is abreast with the culture and history of what that means is not wrong. It's not racism for a child to be raised to know both cultures. As long as his skin has a bit more color than his family he will be deemed different and other. So while loving him is good, it's simply not enough in this racist white-hierarchy of a world.

WantingABubba · Mar 3rd, 2012, 20:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whoknowsx

Quote:

Originally Posted by BintUmmi

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbbynChloe

as a mum of a beautiful mixed race daughter, I bring her up to be herself, she is not aware of her skin tone, and I will do my best to make sure it never becomes an issue for her.

^ this!

While this is all fine and dandy I cant help but feel that we are living in a fake utopian of a world. Skin tone limits alot in society and pretending like it doesn't will only make her skin tone that much MORE of an issue.

I think that this man definitely came at OP with the wrong attitude and arrogance but his desire that the child also knows that he is black, and perhaps is abreast with the culture and history of what that means is not wrong. It's not racism for a child to be raised to know both cultures. As long as his skin has a bit more color than his family he will be deemed different and other. So while loving him is good, it's simply not enough in this racist white-hierarchy of a world.

The child is not black, he is mixed.

And a baby who is 25% black, and 75% white is more likely to look white or mixed than 'black'.

Yes, it's important he knows his background but it doesn't mean he should be told 'you're black and life is going to be difficult for you'.

Lastly, racism works all ways.

AbbynChloe · Mar 4th, 2012, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whoknowsx

Quote:

Originally Posted by BintUmmi

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbbynChloe

as a mum of a beautiful mixed race daughter, I bring her up to be herself, she is not aware of her skin tone, and I will do my best to make sure it never becomes an issue for her.

^ this!

While this is all fine and dandy I cant help but feel that we are living in a fake utopian of a world. Skin tone limits alot in society and pretending like it doesn't will only make her skin tone that much MORE of an issue.

I think that this man definitely came at OP with the wrong attitude and arrogance but his desire that the child also knows that he is black, and perhaps is abreast with the culture and history of what that means is not wrong. It's not racism for a child to be raised to know both cultures. As long as his skin has a bit more color than his family he will be deemed different and other. So while loving him is good, it's simply not enough in this racist white-hierarchy of a world.

The problem with this "racist white-hierarchy of a world" i people like you who chose to believe in it.

Yes life is difficult and yes the world not colour blind, but does it benefit anyone to raise children to immediately point out they are different, they have slightly darker skin or whatever.

What really really pisses me off is what makes you think that the LO will not know anything of his black culture?? if his father plays his part then surly the child will have a wholesome knowledge of where he/she come/s from??

I'm black and raise my daughter alsmost single handedly in England - so are you telling me she is a a dis advantage, or advantage??

BintUmmi · Mar 4th, 2012, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whoknowsx

Quote:

Originally Posted by BintUmmi

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbbynChloe

as a mum of a beautiful mixed race daughter, I bring her up to be herself, she is not aware of her skin tone, and I will do my best to make sure it never becomes an issue for her.

^ this!

While this is all fine and dandy I cant help but feel that we are living in a fake utopian of a world. Skin tone limits alot in society and pretending like it doesn't will only make her skin tone that much MORE of an issue.

I think that this man definitely came at OP with the wrong attitude and arrogance but his desire that the child also knows that he is black, and perhaps is abreast with the culture and history of what that means is not wrong. It's not racism for a child to be raised to know both cultures. As long as his skin has a bit more color than his family he will be deemed different and other. So while loving him is good, it's simply not enough in this racist white-hierarchy of a world.

It depends where you live.

I am mixed race (half black, half white) and I've never been disadvantaged for it. I grew up in London, and a very mixed part, so maybe that's why.

There is nothing wrong with knowing your history, where your ancestors come from as that is part of who you are but it doesn't define you because you are not them and your experiences are not going to be the same.

When people make these kinds of statements (not yours, the thread title) their concern is not so much education about history, being black it's more about fulfilling a stereotype of what it means to be either black or white. Which is nonsense, the child is not more black or white that he needs to be told "you're black" or "you're white". In my opinion race doesn't hold such importance that you need to constantly remind your child of their race, and teach them that it makes them different from everyone else when there is so much more people share in common than where their parents or ancestors come from.

WantingABubba · Mar 4th, 2012, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BintUmmi

Quote:

Originally Posted by whoknowsx

Quote:

Originally Posted by BintUmmi

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbbynChloe

as a mum of a beautiful mixed race daughter, I bring her up to be herself, she is not aware of her skin tone, and I will do my best to make sure it never becomes an issue for her.

^ this!

While this is all fine and dandy I cant help but feel that we are living in a fake utopian of a world. Skin tone limits alot in society and pretending like it doesn't will only make her skin tone that much MORE of an issue.

I think that this man definitely came at OP with the wrong attitude and arrogance but his desire that the child also knows that he is black, and perhaps is abreast with the culture and history of what that means is not wrong. It's not racism for a child to be raised to know both cultures. As long as his skin has a bit more color than his family he will be deemed different and other. So while loving him is good, it's simply not enough in this racist white-hierarchy of a world.

It depends where you live.

I am mixed race (half black, half white) and I've never been disadvantaged for it. I grew up in London, and a very mixed part, so maybe that's why.

There is nothing wrong with knowing your history, where your ancestors come from as that is part of who you are but it doesn't define you because you are not them and your experiences are not going to be the same.

When people make these kinds of statements (not yours, the thread title) their concern is not so much education about history, being black it's more about fulfilling a stereotype of what it means to be either black or white. Which is nonsense, the child is not more black or white that he needs to be told "you're black" or "you're white". In my opinion race doesn't hold such importance that you need to constantly remind your child of their race, and teach them that it makes them different from everyone else when there is so much more people share in common than where their parents or ancestors come from.

Totally agree

I am also mixed, (black Mum, white Dad), and I, unfortunately, HAVE run into lots of 'racial issues' in my life.

But let me say something - the racial issues and identity problems I've had have been more from people's constant trying to reinforce stereotypes and tell me who I am, and how society sees me then living in a 'white hierarchical world'.

My Mum is very 'pro-black' and has a huge chip on her shoulder. She can be so anti-white sometimes, or quick to look for racism. And let me tell you - it hurts.

I am sick of being told I am going to struggle because my skin is brown. I am sick of being told that white people see me as black. I'm sick of people going on about race all the damned time!

And I am sick of people thinking racism only affects minorities!

whoknowsx · Mar 4th, 2012, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbbynChloe

Quote:

Originally Posted by whoknowsx

Quote:

Originally Posted by BintUmmi

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbbynChloe

as a mum of a beautiful mixed race daughter, I bring her up to be herself, she is not aware of her skin tone, and I will do my best to make sure it never becomes an issue for her.

^ this!

While this is all fine and dandy I cant help but feel that we are living in a fake utopian of a world. Skin tone limits alot in society and pretending like it doesn't will only make her skin tone that much MORE of an issue.

I think that this man definitely came at OP with the wrong attitude and arrogance but his desire that the child also knows that he is black, and perhaps is abreast with the culture and history of what that means is not wrong. It's not racism for a child to be raised to know both cultures. As long as his skin has a bit more color than his family he will be deemed different and other. So while loving him is good, it's simply not enough in this racist white-hierarchy of a world.

The problem with this "racist white-hierarchy of a world" i people like you who chose to believe in it.

Yes life is difficult and yes the world not colour blind, but does it benefit anyone to raise children to immediately point out they are different, they have slightly darker skin or whatever.

What really really pisses me off is what makes you think that the LO will not know anything of his black culture?? if his father plays his part then surly the child will have a wholesome knowledge of where he/she come/s from??

I'm black and raise my daughter alsmost single handedly in England - so are you telling me she is a a dis advantage, or advantage??

Take a breather -- this is not a personal attack on you.

I don't know completely how things run in England but in my experience in the US racism is a much larger obstacle. I can only speak from that perspective. I did NOT advocate immediately pointing out that they are different or say that they will know nothing of black culture. I was advocating that the LO is taught all sides. Thats all.

Your argument is a straw-man argument so I care not address the rest of it. But if you have questions about my points as oppose to just being emotional and up in arms, thus purposefully mis-reading what I said then I would be more than happy to address them.

Jan 13th, 2012, 15:25 PM	#12
TattiesMum Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Bedfordshire Posts: 4,180	She's positively edible! How old is she?

Status: Offline

Mar 3rd, 2012, 14:55 PM	#14
WantingABubba Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 2,546	he sounds like an idiot. Furthermore, your Grandson is 75% white, and only 25% black. Why does he care?! I'm TTC with my boyfriend, who's white, and I'm mixed. My baby will be mixed, technically, but I won't force them into either box, as I hate it myself. Both you and your daughter sound like smart, well-adjusted people, and she done the right thing. (Sorry, this post was a bit jumbled - you get the gist, right? )

Status: Offline

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