Well... as soon as i told my fob that i was pregnant he said to get rid of it. Last october i had a miscarriage and it was a planned pregnancy and since then i moved back home because it was to much stress and i couldnt afford to live the way i was with bills etc.. so anyway i havent took any protection since and yesterday i found out i was pregnant again and i was so excited until he started shouting the odds telling me i HAVE to get rid of it i have no choice, its him or the baby i said im not getting rid of it so il have to be a single mum, he said im going to be a looser and i wont be able to look after it and it will end up in care. He said im selfish and cruel to bring a baby into the world. He keeps trying to blackmail me and keeps begging i get rid of it. He said he hopes i have another miscarriage... then i said i didnt want no more to do with him and i will make my baby proud i dont need him in my life. He keeps threatening me telling me hes going to text my mum and tell her to persuade me to get rid of it ( i havent even told my parents yet) he said life will be better without a baby :/ theres nothing i want more then a baby even though im only 20 ( nearly 21 ) he dosent understand the way i feel hes just so selfish and wants me to do what he wants! he said he wants nothing to do with it and hes not paying no money or care for it. Im so angry and upset but i dont want to cause stress to the baby... any suggestions on what i should do? im so confused and scared
i was given the same choice by my ex, i was with him for 4years. and i couldnt go threw with not having it! i had no family around... now im 18weeks and starting to come round to the idea of being a mum. we both didnt back down, i refused not to have it and he refused to be a parent, so now we dont see eachother and dont even talk. it was hard to begin with thinking that my baby will miss out on something most kids will have, a dad. but on the other hand, it will just be us 2 and the bond between us will be stronger! do what you want to do and never let a man push u into doing something u dont want to
im just scared to tell my mum now im back at home, yeah hes a complete waste of space i haven't got time for him anymore! i would pick my child over him anyday! im to scared to even go to the drs i need to tell my mum so she can help me through this. I also want an early scan to reassure me after my last miscarriage. Thanks for your help.
I hardly ever saw my dad, but my mum is so wonderful I don't feel as though I missed out. Given that you are 20 I would be extremely surprised if your mum was angry with you. Afterall, 20 is grown up. Think of those girls who find themselves pregnant at 15 or younger, they must have been absolutely terrified to tell their mums! I was 20 when I got pregnant with my first, I told my mum and she said 'WELL! I better start knitting!'
Get in there and tell your mum before this loser of a man does, I bet you find her supportive and maybe also exited (though that may come after she lets it sink in). Do you get on well with your mum?
I know that the 'right' thing to do may be to tell this guy when the baby arrives but I think in this case that would be a bad idea. He does not sound like an influence you want in your child's life.
You should call a midwife, all you have to do is go into your gp's surgery and just ask the receptionist for the relevant phone number, then call them up I absolutely guarantee that they will be supportive. Depending where you live you might have to fight hard if you want an early scan as its unfortunately not routine til you have had 3 losses in a row. I only got one because I had a missed miscarriage and asked directly at the epau. Normally you need a gp referral unless you live in the states and have good insurance. There is always this site too, if you need to let it all out.
Let your parents know! You don't want to hide it and have them find out another way. My mom was 21 when she became pregnant with me - she was living on her own, but not married, etc and even she was scared to tell my Grandparents! LOL. But she did and it was fine!
As for your fob...what a douche!! He can choose not to have anything to do with your child but, too bad for him, he can NOT choose not to help out monetarily. Any man who would demand you choose between him and a child is not a real man. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you CAN do it.
Any opinions, advice, statements or other information expressed or made available on BabyandBump.Momtastic.com by users or third parties, including but not limited to bloggers, are solely those of the respective user or other third party. They do not reflect the opinions of BabyandBump.Momtastic.com and they have not been reviewed by a physician, psychologist or parenting expert or any member of the BabyandBump.Momtastic.com staff for accuracy, balance or objectivity. Content and other information presented on BabyandBump.Momtastic.com are not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, counseling, diagnosis, or treatment. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical or mental health advice from your physician or other qualified health provider because of something you have read on BabyandBump.Momtastic.com. BabyandBump.Momtastic.com does not endorse any opinion, advice, statement, product, service or treatment made available on the website. If you think you have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services immediately.