why do i feel guilty

louloubelle76 · Mar 9th, 2012, 10:24 AM

I registered my little lady without fob there so she now has my name

i did feel a bit tearful about it but what more can i have done

He hasnt bothered to see how my pregnancy was going not a thing, and he knew this week was my due date and still nothing.

This week I sent him a birth annoucment card and photo of his daughter as he didnt know I had her early, and he still hasnt got in touch, but i feel so guilty in thinking that maybe i should send him a text to say he can see her

but on the other hand why should I do all the running when he hasnt even bothered

Mammy2Joojx · Mar 9th, 2012, 10:29 AM

my sons FOB's name is on birth certificate buut he was a complete a-hole throughout the pregnancy & i knew he would carry on to be a a-hole when my son was born so i gave him my surname

wouldn't ever dream of putting FOB's surname as my sons unless i was married

Don't feel guilty hun, you've done all you can. You've told him she was born so he knows he can visit. I wouldn't text him saying he can come i'd let him make the move to prove he's interested xx

george83 · Mar 9th, 2012, 12:41 PM

i'm married to my a-hole as the previous poster says and i stupidly gave baby his name. Now i'm about to divorce him and i'll be stuck with his name because i want my son to have the same name as me. I wouldn't feel guilty at all. who needs a dad like that.

louloubelle76 · Mar 9th, 2012, 12:55 PM

thanks ladies

Just feel so bad for her as i grow up without my dad (i didnt turn out bad i dont think lol) just dont want that for her.

wouldnt get back with him no way but i dont mind him visiting her thats it, but as you said ive done what i can.

xAmiixLouisex · Mar 13th, 2012, 09:52 AM

You made the effort. It's his turn. At least you can tell your little girl when she's older that you tried. I'm sure she'll figure out for herself that her dad's an asshole. If his heart was in it, he'd have got in touch. You don't want to hassle him and try force him because for one, it rarely works. Two, she's better off with no dad than one that keeps letting her down. She'd only end up feeling unloved and rejected. Much better to feel nothing for him than feeling that. xx

cherry_pie · Mar 13th, 2012, 17:10 PM

I wish I could have done what you did with giving my son my name. My husband didn't walk out until our baby was 5 months old so now he is stuck with his fathers surname and min ewill be different. Thats way more tear jerking than having your name, so don't worry I think you did the right thing for sure!

cherry_pie · Mar 13th, 2012, 17:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by george83

i'm married to my a-hole as the previous poster says and i stupidly gave baby his name. Now i'm about to divorce him and i'll be stuck with his name because i want my son to have the same name as me. I wouldn't feel guilty at all. who needs a dad like that.

What abbout you going back to your own name and double barelling your babys name? Thats what im hoping to do, no way ho say am i keeping that mother f****'s name!!

Mar 9th, 2012, 10:24 AM	#1
louloubelle76 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: London Posts: 682	why do i feel guilty I registered my little lady without fob there so she now has my name i did feel a bit tearful about it but what more can i have done He hasnt bothered to see how my pregnancy was going not a thing, and he knew this week was my due date and still nothing. This week I sent him a birth annoucment card and photo of his daughter as he didnt know I had her early, and he still hasnt got in touch, but i feel so guilty in thinking that maybe i should send him a text to say he can see her but on the other hand why should I do all the running when he hasnt even bothered

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Mar 9th, 2012, 10:29 AM	#2
Mammy2Joojx Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 1,005	my sons FOB's name is on birth certificate buut he was a complete a-hole throughout the pregnancy & i knew he would carry on to be a a-hole when my son was born so i gave him my surname wouldn't ever dream of putting FOB's surname as my sons unless i was married Don't feel guilty hun, you've done all you can. You've told him she was born so he knows he can visit. I wouldn't text him saying he can come i'd let him make the move to prove he's interested xx

Status: Offline

Mar 9th, 2012, 12:41 PM	#3
george83 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 1,266	i'm married to my a-hole as the previous poster says and i stupidly gave baby his name. Now i'm about to divorce him and i'll be stuck with his name because i want my son to have the same name as me. I wouldn't feel guilty at all. who needs a dad like that.

Status: Offline

Mar 9th, 2012, 12:55 PM	#4
louloubelle76 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: London Posts: 682	thanks ladies Just feel so bad for her as i grow up without my dad (i didnt turn out bad i dont think lol) just dont want that for her. wouldnt get back with him no way but i dont mind him visiting her thats it, but as you said ive done what i can.

Status: Offline

Mar 13th, 2012, 09:52 AM	#5
xAmiixLouisex Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Birmingham, UK. Posts: 2,227	You made the effort. It's his turn. At least you can tell your little girl when she's older that you tried. I'm sure she'll figure out for herself that her dad's an asshole. If his heart was in it, he'd have got in touch. You don't want to hassle him and try force him because for one, it rarely works. Two, she's better off with no dad than one that keeps letting her down. She'd only end up feeling unloved and rejected. Much better to feel nothing for him than feeling that. xx

Status: Offline

Mar 13th, 2012, 17:10 PM	#6
cherry_pie Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 758	I wish I could have done what you did with giving my son my name. My husband didn't walk out until our baby was 5 months old so now he is stuck with his fathers surname and min ewill be different. Thats way more tear jerking than having your name, so don't worry I think you did the right thing for sure!

Status: Offline

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