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Old Mar 24th, 2012, 14:09 PM   #1
Becky81
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Much needed advice sought please


I'm writing this in hope someone can help.

I met a new partner in late November '12 and accidentally fell pregnant in December and now I'm 15 weeks pregnant.
Biological father to baby for the first 3 weeks after finding out demanded a termination which I refused as it's not something I believe in, and after then hasn't been in full support and 4 week ago we split. I have now returned back to live near my full family etc with full support.
Now I've moved father has taken a sudden full on interest and it just seems over the top considering what he has been like. After getting to know him and finding out he is actually quite a demanding controlling man I am not happy about him being in babies life.

He has told me when it's born he has the money to take me to court and get full responsibility of it, can he?!?!
Luckily we are over 300 miles apart so the distance helps settle me a bit but is there anyway I can stop him from having anything to do with baby, I'm even happy for him to not pay maintenance if he'd just leave me alone.

I hope someone has the answers I need, thank you in advance!


 
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Old Mar 24th, 2012, 16:30 PM   #2
dustbunny
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Tricky tricky. Unless he has amazing 'proof' [of which I hasten to doubt there is any] he will never in a million years get full responsibility for your child. If he is a demanding person and domineering it is possible he did not expect your reaction of leaving him and moving away and now he has lost you and the baby he has also lost control of the situation.
Because you moved whilst pregnant and for good reason this will not count against you, if you had waited till the child was born it would have cause some issues. It could be a case of him testing the waters to see how you respond and the only advice I can give is to play it cool. If he asks about the baby... not about you or anything between you and him... just the baby, then tell him. He is the father at the end of the day.
Not putting him on the birth certificate will hinder his attempts to know his child but if he really does persist he can apply to the courts to have his name put on it. He would then be able to apply for contact and this would normally be every other week for a couple hours without overnight access for the first months. However with the distance involved and his attitude thus far you have to ask would he actually bother?
Bottom line is, unless he has done something really bad then he can gain access to see the baby when they are born.

Maybe not the answers you were looking for but hope something helps


 
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Old Apr 25th, 2012, 00:41 AM   #3
AmberS
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I'm so sorry! I hope everything works out for the best! Keeping you in my thoughts


 
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Old Apr 25th, 2012, 03:36 AM   #4
angelpkj
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your not stopping him seeing the child so how can he complain and take you court?baby isnt even here yet
just let him make the 300 mile trip to see LO

doubt it'll last long till he gives up i live about 10 mile from FOB and he started to give up after 3 weeks


 
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Old Apr 25th, 2012, 04:24 AM   #5
Jinty
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What a jackass... He can't get full custody unless you are incapable of being a mother. If i was you i wouldn't put him on the birth certificate just because of that threat. He obviously doesn't respect you so i give any back. That's just me though, of course he is still FOB end of the day... Unfortunately sometimes LOL


 
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Old Apr 25th, 2012, 13:54 PM   #6
jemmie1994
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angelpkj View Post
your not stopping him seeing the child so how can he complain and take you court?baby isnt even here yet
just let him make the 300 mile trip to see LO

doubt it'll last long till he gives up i live about 10 mile from FOB and he started to give up after 3 weeks
WSS i live 3miles away from FOB and neither he or his family can be bothered dw think he will back off after abit


 
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Old Apr 25th, 2012, 15:32 PM   #7
tooyoung
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There is no way he can take the baby away from you. However, since he is the father, he will be entitled to see him or her. The baby is partly his responsibility financially so he should be giving you some money.
Try not to worry too much about this now since you have a long way to go still. Once the baby is born, see how he handles things.


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