FOB finally gets in touch - Page 2

MikaylasMummy · Apr 7th, 2012, 17:37 PM

I think you did the right thing by letting him see lo even though he showed up with that insulting "gift" and no money.the other posters are right he cannot expect rights to his child but not accept the RESPONSIBILITIES that come along with those rights.I too love second hand clothing but for the father of your newborn who has not contributed a darn thing to ONLY bring the clothes SOMEONE ELSE has given him and not something from himself is just rude and insulting and a total ignorance of his responsibilities.he wants to be a father,he pays to help raise the child.hopefully he makes good on his promise!

BigZai · Apr 12th, 2012, 19:48 PM

Id say f*** off he cares now but he didnt care to ask you the gender or if the baby is developing properly. No support through pregnancy fine but didnt give a s*** if you had a carseat to bring your baby home from the hospital in or a crib to sleep in hes a dead beat and wont change and while people believe you should try to get him involved they dont know anything about having a father who is forced to see you and really doesnt care id rather have no father.
I would either take him to court to get his parental rights terminated (if he doesnt show he loses automatically which he sounds like a no show kind of guy)
or
Just leave it be and see if he texts you and go from there

Dont take him to court for money cuz he will get visitation which he probably wouldnt try to get unless you tried to get money
and just wait and let him see him every once in awhile if he asks and thats what you want.

Laura2919 · Apr 13th, 2012, 02:52 AM

Money plays a massive part. Children need things that cost money, food, clothing, a roof over their heads, they need baths and their clothes need washing and what about taking them out and doing things with them? That all costs money so while people say it doesn't it does! It's expensive raising children and it takes two to create a child so why shouldn't both support LO??

Honestly sometimes I wonder!

Lemon, if it were me he wouldn't have seen LO because what if he saw LO and then didn't give you any money via bank transfer and didn't contact you again for months? Is it better for your LO to have a rubbish dad or no dad??
I could answer that but I wont

jemmie1994 · Apr 13th, 2012, 11:26 AM

i agree think its an insult to turn up with dirty clothes, money doesnt bother me but lack of effort does and he's made no effort to get his child anything

Lemonflower · Apr 13th, 2012, 11:37 AM

Laura - yeah he's a deadbeat, selfish man. I know he'd eventually drop out of LO's life as he never sticks to anything.
I wanna tell my son in years to come that I did offer access and he refused to help support LO and contact me.

He's the kind of guy who'd be due to have LO one weekend and the boys ring him up to do something and he then cancels LO.

I dunno what to do for the best. He has not been in contact (over a week now)
I'm gonna see if he contacts me. I'm not going to the CSA however like I said if I get a request for a DNA test (I think this is the first step to getting on the BC) I'll then go for child support.

Does anyone know:

If visitation is put in place and FOB does not show up or try to change dates more than once can the visitation be stopped.
If he started doing this I 'd rather him out of LO's life.

Xxxxx

Apr 7th, 2012, 17:37 PM	#11
MikaylasMummy Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Central Coast, Australia Posts: 2,001	I think you did the right thing by letting him see lo even though he showed up with that insulting "gift" and no money.the other posters are right he cannot expect rights to his child but not accept the RESPONSIBILITIES that come along with those rights.I too love second hand clothing but for the father of your newborn who has not contributed a darn thing to ONLY bring the clothes SOMEONE ELSE has given him and not something from himself is just rude and insulting and a total ignorance of his responsibilities.he wants to be a father,he pays to help raise the child.hopefully he makes good on his promise!

Status: Offline

Apr 12th, 2012, 19:48 PM	#12
BigZai Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 684	Id say f* off he cares now but he didnt care to ask you the gender or if the baby is developing properly. No support through pregnancy fine but didnt give a s* if you had a carseat to bring your baby home from the hospital in or a crib to sleep in hes a dead beat and wont change and while people believe you should try to get him involved they dont know anything about having a father who is forced to see you and really doesnt care id rather have no father. I would either take him to court to get his parental rights terminated (if he doesnt show he loses automatically which he sounds like a no show kind of guy) or Just leave it be and see if he texts you and go from there Dont take him to court for money cuz he will get visitation which he probably wouldnt try to get unless you tried to get money and just wait and let him see him every once in awhile if he asks and thats what you want.

Status: Offline

Apr 13th, 2012, 02:52 AM	#13
Laura2919 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 15,770	Money plays a massive part. Children need things that cost money, food, clothing, a roof over their heads, they need baths and their clothes need washing and what about taking them out and doing things with them? That all costs money so while people say it doesn't it does! It's expensive raising children and it takes two to create a child so why shouldn't both support LO?? Honestly sometimes I wonder! Lemon, if it were me he wouldn't have seen LO because what if he saw LO and then didn't give you any money via bank transfer and didn't contact you again for months? Is it better for your LO to have a rubbish dad or no dad?? I could answer that but I wont

Status: Offline

Apr 13th, 2012, 11:26 AM	#14
jemmie1994 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Manchester Posts: 2,681	i agree think its an insult to turn up with dirty clothes, money doesnt bother me but lack of effort does and he's made no effort to get his child anything

Status: Offline

Apr 13th, 2012, 11:37 AM	#15
Lemonflower Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: UK Posts: 371	Laura - yeah he's a deadbeat, selfish man. I know he'd eventually drop out of LO's life as he never sticks to anything. I wanna tell my son in years to come that I did offer access and he refused to help support LO and contact me. He's the kind of guy who'd be due to have LO one weekend and the boys ring him up to do something and he then cancels LO. I dunno what to do for the best. He has not been in contact (over a week now) I'm gonna see if he contacts me. I'm not going to the CSA however like I said if I get a request for a DNA test (I think this is the first step to getting on the BC) I'll then go for child support. Does anyone know: If visitation is put in place and FOB does not show up or try to change dates more than once can the visitation be stopped. If he started doing this I 'd rather him out of LO's life. Xxxxx

Status: Offline

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