Forum Rules

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Jan 30th, 2013, 21:30 PM   1
Court and bub
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Perth (Australia )
Posts: 61

Argggh baby's dad

So, my babys dad has only just recently wanted to be in our child's life after he was very intent that I got an abortion and trying to make threats and scare me into one when he was off is head on hard drugs but he is not like that when he isn't on those sorts of drugs tho , he is a very angry person and can't controll his actions when he is angry ,

So , I'm trying to do the right thing by him and my baby to let him be in the child's life , I know he is only young and what he said was because he was scared and afraid of the unknown so I'm willing to give him a chance because he is only 17 and I don't believe that those actions should affect him being in the child's life forever when he is still a bit immature

Saying that tho I do have rules for him to be able to see the child he can not be on drugs around the baby cannot smoke cigarets around the baby and he cannot be left alone around the baby I have to be with both of them when I take the bub to visit him or he comes to visit the bub ,

But lately he seems to want to be involved so much he wants to help name the baby witch I dont believe he has a right to because I have always wanted this child and I'm paying for everything of the baby's I'm only 16 and he's 18 this year witch is an adult in australia and he does not contribute what so ever he just sits on the bloody doll ( witch is where the government gives him a certain amount of money each week for living cost ) but he doesn't have the desire to get a full time job , witch I do have one but they fired me because I was pregnant but made up some bullshit excuse as to why they did it , I'm being the responsible one and he is still a child

He doesn't want to see me but I'm not leaving the child alone with him I do not trust him one damn bit he is getting really angry at me for not letting him do those things but I don't think has a right to ,am I being un reasonable I don't feel I am but just wanted some one elses oppinion , because the baby's dad is doing my bloody head in

Sorry bout the long thread x

Status: Offline
Old Jan 30th, 2013, 21:57 PM   2
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Conneaut, OH
Posts: 123
If he has a problem with putting his hands on people I'd say someone should have to supervise him even if it isn't you and truth is, if he really wants to be involved with the baby, he shouldn't care who is around because the thing that should matter to him is seeing the baby, but if he is just an angry person I dont see why he wouldnt be able to see the baby alone. Lots of people are angry people and are great with kids, it depends on if they are violent towards people. If thats the case I would say NO to being alone with the baby.

As for the abortion thing, I wouldn't hold that against him. Any person, especially young will have second thoughts cross their mind. I did with my first pregnancy and my second and so did my boyfriend and I never held it against him, it was just that we took everything into consideration. How our lives would be and our babies lives.

Status: Offline
Old Feb 1st, 2013, 13:25 PM   3
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 1,080
I'd say let him see the bub when you're with him, but F*CK lettng him name the baby! Or really help with things like that.
I guess I'm just the kind of person whose like "You hurt me so f*ck you and you get no sayso in any thing." Lol.
But hoenstly, if he continues the hard drugs or ANY drugs, I would not let him step foot near my child. and If he tries doing any thing legally like taking you to court, tell them he's on hard drugs and you don't want someone HIGH around your bubba!

Status: Offline
Old Feb 2nd, 2013, 04:13 AM   4
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Essex, UK
Posts: 7,278
He doesn't sound like the type of person to be safe left alone with a baby in all honesty. Drugs, anger, and not being able to control his actions. All factors that are dangerous for him to be alone with your child.

I would say that if he wants to be very involved in the child's life ie naming etc, then he needs to get his head out of his arse and buck his ideas up. He needs to stop taking drugs, get a job and start showing you some support, financially, physically and emotionally. Why would he expect to be left alone with baby when he has done nothing but prove he is unsafe to be alone with your child? Ridiculous... You don't get trust by behaving the way he has been IMO. No sane mother would allow their child, let alone a newborn, to be around him alone. So you are absolutely behaving within your rights.

Status: Offline
Old Feb 2nd, 2013, 04:37 AM   5
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 641
That's a hard decision, but i respect the way you see it. You didn't cut him off from your life or the child, you chose to find the golden mid-way.

Status: Offline
Old Feb 2nd, 2013, 10:51 AM   6
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: england
Posts: 240
i wouldn't let him be alone with my child i would want him to stop the drugs all together and get a full time job what sort of role model is he and threatening you isnt going to help his situation, YOU are this babies primary carer he is not on the birth certificate he therefore has no legal right to this baby! also if he keeps on at you and doesn't agree to your terms you can call social services and explain that you feel he is a risk to your child and want to arrange supervised contact which means he would HAVE to meet you in a contact center if he breaches the conditions you will have the right to stop contact xx

Status: Offline