I actually disagree with the PP's, I think that face-to-face isn't always the best way. Sending a text was the best way for me. It meant I could get everything out there without being interrupted or yelled at and had an opportunity to explain everything I had too. When I did talk to him in person he didn't want to listen to a word I had to say about why I wanted to keep bubs. It was much easier through text - and he actually took it in (cause he could look over my reasons whenever he wanted too)
Again, it's whatever works for you and what you're comfortable with. I'm not saying do it one way or do it another. Just giving you my experience
I called him to see if we could talk, thinking I might just tell him that way, but he said he was busy and would call me back. I know if if I will tell him when he calls back. I planned to try to see if he would meet me somewhere, but when I think about being face to face with him I don't know if I will actually be able to admit to everything. I'm thinking I might just text him everything (I was already thinking that before I read the most recent reply, btw).
Congrats hun. I know you're in a difficult situation, I had to help my best friend through it when she found out she was pregnant at 17. It's an emotional roller coaster. But first things first, your baby's daddy has the right to know he has a child growing, then you together can discuss as to whether you gonna keep baba or not. I personally think you will regret it if you make a rash decision before thinking it through. You will learn to manage, every baby is a miracle. I hope everything turns out okay for you and I'm sure your parents will come around especially when they see their little grandson or grand daughter. Just know, it's not the end of the world having a baby. My best friend managed to finish school, get a food job, her license etc even with a child and without her parents help really. Be strong xx
So, I decided I am definitely going to tell the dad, but I'm trying to determine who I should tell first. I don't know which will be worse - him or my parents. Also, do you think it's ok to not tell him in person or should I do it face to face, even if it's giving him a letter?
I just keep telling myself I'll just do it, but then I start over thinking it.
Well done for making this decision - it's never too late to do the right thing! As women we often feel like they are our children more than theirs, but that's not true - a child has 2 parents and needs them both equally. I agree that face to face is best, coz that way you know he really got the message.
I told him everything over the phone. First I told him that I was pregnant because I figured he probably wouldn't hang up on me right away over that. He didn't really say much at first, but then just asked me a lot of questions like when I found out, how far along I was, etc. When I told him I think I'm 11-12 weeks, he seemed really freaked out. Then I told him the worst part - that I'm 17. I mean, I know a baby is bigger than that, but I was more embarrassed to tell him that I had been lying to him. His first response was "You're f%*king kidding me." Then he just said oh my god a bunch of times and that he didn't know how to react. Then he questioned if everything else I had told him was true and if I was sure the baby is his. Then he said he felt gross knowing he was sleeping with a girl in high school. I told him I hadn't told my parents yet and I didn't know anything for sure since I haven't been to the doctor. He wasn't much help there, just said that was great so he can deal with this news and wait for my parents to show up and kill him. He said he couldn't handle it right now and had to go and would call me back.
Give him time...you dropped a pretty big bomb on him, and men's brains don't work the same way as us. As for your parents, If my highly christian republican mother can accept that I got pregnant at 17 and then came out as gay at 23 and married a woman at 25 who's now pregnant with our first child together...then your parents will be able to deal with it. Of course every situation is different, and they might be mad and disappointed at first...but they also may surprise you. Just give it time. They deserve to know and may be more hurt that you didn't tell them sooner.
i also agree, don't worry about his initial reaction - you've dropped two big bombs on him, confessed you lied to him and it is normal for a person to doubt all your words, if you've lied for a while about something and then disappeared without a trace and then called him back to say you're pregnant.
he'll come around but leave him time.
now it's time you face your parents and/or get a doctor's visit asap as you're around 12 weeks by now and you need a check up.
also, when you tell your parents, i'd be honest about everything so at least everything is out on the table - and by this i mean, tell them that you've lied to him about your age and about still being in high school. so that they don't see him as some prick who has seduced their innocent teen daughter and then left. this will just make your future relationship more difficult, have them hate him unnecessarily and so on.
i say this as both your parents and him are gonna be a part of your and babies life for good, so it's way better to start that relationship with open cards and clean bill, rather than lies and unresolved doubts they bring hanging here and there around.
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