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Old Sep 30th, 2014, 11:57 AM   41
heatherr
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I promise, it won't get any easier as time goes on. You need to tell them ASAP. These are your parents. Do you really think they're going to throw their pregnant 17 y/o daughter out on the street? The worst thing that could happen is they get angry. You can't tell me your parents haven't been angry at you before, even had full blown screaming matches? They will eventually have to come to terms with it if they want to be a part of their grandchild's life. The sooner the better, because it's only going to get harder and give them less time to process it.
It's not that I think they will kick me out. My parents aren't like that. Yeah my parents have been mad at me before, but I've never done anything like this. I'm such a "good girl" all the time. I've never given them any reason to worry and I'm usually always responsible. It's just how angry and disappointed in me they'll be. I just feel like it'll be really awkward once they know. I'm like the perfect daughter in their eyes.



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Old Sep 30th, 2014, 12:44 PM   42
KFrey
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Hi Heather,
I have been following your posts and not chimed in yet because I never knew what to say. For starters, you are human and you make mistakes and you will always be your parents little girl. You are right that it will probably be awkward at first but I think you might be surprised of their reaction... or maybe their "after reaction" reaction... because they are human too and may not react the best. By the way you describe them, they sound like great people who really care and love you.

Everything will be okay and I think you will feel a lot better once you tell them. It is really important that you see a doctor ASAP. I don't think I would be able to tell both parents at the same time... I would probably do it one at a time or tell my mom and she would help tell my dad. That's what I did with my daughter and I was 26.

Good luck to you hun! You are strong and can do this! Whatever "this" might be to you.



 
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Old Sep 30th, 2014, 13:12 PM   43
Feronia
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Hi heatherr, it's unfortunate that you don't have a Planned Parenthood near you. Can you search around to see whether there are other options for pro-choice clinics? When I was a teen, I went to a free clinic in California that did not tell parents anything you didn't want them to know, and they offered a variety of options in terms of reproductive health and free contraception. There might be something like that in your area.



 
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Old Sep 30th, 2014, 17:06 PM   44
Eidson23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heatherr View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eidson23 View Post
I promise, it won't get any easier as time goes on. You need to tell them ASAP. These are your parents. Do you really think they're going to throw their pregnant 17 y/o daughter out on the street? The worst thing that could happen is they get angry. You can't tell me your parents haven't been angry at you before, even had full blown screaming matches? They will eventually have to come to terms with it if they want to be a part of their grandchild's life. The sooner the better, because it's only going to get harder and give them less time to process it.
It's not that I think they will kick me out. My parents aren't like that. Yeah my parents have been mad at me before, but I've never done anything like this. I'm such a "good girl" all the time. I've never given them any reason to worry and I'm usually always responsible. It's just how angry and disappointed in me they'll be. I just feel like it'll be really awkward once they know. I'm like the perfect daughter in their eyes.
I understand that, of course. I was the same exact way. I am also the most like my mother out of 4 kids, so when I got pregnant she was disappointed, but she also became my strongest supporter. Honestly, she handled me being pregnant so young better than she did me coming out as gay. It'll be tough to get it out there, but I promise, if they are the type of parents I think they are, they are going to support you even if they are disappointed.



 
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Old Sep 30th, 2014, 21:03 PM   45
heatherr
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I think I'm officially the worst daughter ever now. So I have been working up to telling my parents for nearly a month now, since I found out. I have been trying to figure out howto say it and when, but every time I try I just can't do it. So a few hours ago I was in the shower and decided I was just going to come out and say it. So after I got out of the shower and got dressed and everything I just went downstairs and said "Well, I'm pregnant." My parents and sister were both just sitting there and I blurted it out. I don't think they even realized what I said for a minute. They thought I was joking. I showed them my stomach and told them to look, I wasn't lying. My dad just had a shocked look on his face and my mom almost immediately started to cry. Then my dad was like "What the hell do you mean you're pregnant?!" I told them I took 2 tests like a month ago, and that surprised them even more and when I told them I think I'm 12 weeks they were even more mad and my dad continued to yell and asked if I was planning to tell them when I was giving birth. My mom said she did know something was going on with me, but she didn't think something like this - so I was right about that. She knows I don't like to talk about things, so she didn't push it because she never thought it was something this serious. Then like I'm a little baby myself they sent me to my room, I guess because they couldn't even look at me. That's how it felt at least. They didn't even ask me any other questions at that point, which surprised me. Then when I was in my room I could hear my mom crying downstairs. So then they told me to come talk to them and of course they asked me who the father was. I had to tell them the truth. I'm trying not to lie to anyone anymore. So, I told them that I sort of dated this guy over the summer and I lied to him about my age. They freaked out over that. My just kept getting more and more upset and yelling at me, about how stupid I was, what was I thinking, all that stuff. I kept telling them I was sorry, but they wouldn't even accept that. So, I just sort of ran back to my room and they haven't talked to me since.



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Old Sep 30th, 2014, 21:21 PM   46
Eidson23
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I'm sorry it's so hard it is going to be hard for a while...but you did the right thing. I can already tell you're going to be a good mother and I promise your parents will come around. Right now they are angry, disappointed, shocked. Let them feel like that. Now that you have taken care of all that, you need to take care of yourself and your baby. You're already 12 weeks dear, if not more. Are you able to buy prenatal vitamins from a local drug store or Walmart? I would do that first chance you get.

Your parents will come around. They may even apologize for reacting so harshly. They will become your biggest support system, it'll just take some time.



 
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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 02:56 AM   47
MummyMana
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Well done for telling them! I'm actually pretty shocked by their reaction, but I take it it's not uncommon :/ I think they were probably more upset that you waited so long to tell them, I know that can make things worse... You did well though! Now you have that our of the way you can start planning and looking forward to your baby make that Dr appointment



 
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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 03:28 AM   48
skyesmom
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good job for telling them!!!

sure, their reaction was harsh but they'll come around, you'll see. as pp said, they are shocked, disappointed and angry - all normal feelings to have as well, when someone breaks the news like this.

they'll come around though. it may take some time until the calm down and take it all in. but you did the right thing. it can't get any worse than this with them now, the worst storm is over and you'll see they will come around. they'll understand that their anger won't change the things and make them better.

it is just a lot for a parent to accept, especially if they didn't even know you were dating over the summer. they see you getting pregnant as their own failure at parenting, and no one likes to process, feel or admit that.

they may as well take it out on you not telling them earlier, and telling both to you and themselves that THAT is what made them most angry and disappointed... but it's not. it's just a very comforting lie they may hide behind, as i am sure they'll feel bad for reacting the way they did and not being supportive to you in this situation from the first moment on. but they'll digest even that, i promise.

how time to get that doctor's appointment done. and well, get the baby daddy to meet your parents. I'm saying this as seeing your baby on the ultrasound, no matter how shocking it is for everybody present, is as well a magical and bonding moment and as hard as it is, it sucks to have someone close to the baby miss out on a moment like that.



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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 04:32 AM   49
ClairAye
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To be fair, most parents aren't going to jump for joy at this situation, my dad didn't talk to me until I was about 25 or 27 weeks with my first, my mum did come around after a few weeks though. Well done though, and now it's out of the way you can get yourself to the doctor and get an ultrasound booked!



 
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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 08:17 AM   50
heatherr
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Originally Posted by MummyMana View Post
Well done for telling them! I'm actually pretty shocked by their reaction, but I take it it's not uncommon :/ I think they were probably more upset that you waited so long to tell them, I know that can make things worse... You did well though! Now you have that our of the way you can start planning and looking forward to your baby make that Dr appointment
I don't really know any parents (at least of my friends) who wouldn't act like mine did. Most people we know don't get pregnant at 17. In fact, I don't think we know anyone close to us that's had a kid at 17. For this reason, I feel like they will be ashamed of me or embarrassed that I got pregnant. I don't blame them, because I feel that way too.

Another problem is that I'm not looking forward to having a baby. I don't know if I'm going to be a parent to this baby yet. I'm just not sure. I'm not happy about it at all - I don't feel anything positive about it.



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