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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 08:33 AM   51
KFrey
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Good for you for telling them! You will through this. Please make that doctor's appointment.

There are so many people out there that would love to have a baby... don't rule out adoption!

Your parents will come around... it is only a matter of time. I say you should keep looking forward from here on out... you can't change the past and your previous decisions but you have completely owned up and that is far wiser than any 17 year old I know!



 
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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 08:34 AM   52
KFrey
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Please let us know how the ultrasound goes!



 
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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 08:46 AM   53
MummyMana
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There's nothing to be ashamed of, really! Bringing a baby into this world is the most beautiful thing anyone can do - you are using your body to create a whole new human being! Pregnancy and childbirth is a completely natural part of life

To put it into perspective, you could've come home and told your parents you are a third or a drug dealer, but your not.

You really have nothing to be ashamed of, after all if having a baby was a bad thing, none of us would exist!


It's hard to imagine yourself as a mother when you first find out, but as time goes on you will begin to become excited



 
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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 08:52 AM   54
heatherr
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^ It's just not completely normal for a 17 year old high school student who doesn't have a job and still lives with her parents to have a baby. I know it could have been worse, but it doesn't make my parents feel any better about the situation. To be honest, it doesn't make me feel any better either. I mean, none of my friends have babies. I'm supposed to be getting ready to go to college next year, not have a baby.

I'm just worried, what if I never become excited about it?



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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 08:53 AM   55
heatherr
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I'm sorry if I have a bunch of types. I'm on my phone.

My mom is going to make a doctors appointment for me. She said I have to go. I begged her to wait a little longer. I'm scared of going to the doctor. That made her even more mad.



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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 10:37 AM   56
MummyMana
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I know you're scared and worried, but you will find a way does the father have a job? I assume you're in America as you said you're still in high school, so I'm not exactly sure, but even in America there must be financial help for you and as for college there's a lifetime to go back and study

Try not to stress out too much, you've done the hard part now. And whether you keep your baby or choose to put it up for adoption, stress will not be good for it.

Your parents are right, you do have to go to the doctor, not only for the baby's health but for yours as well! God forbid, but you never know if there might be a complications :/

You are doing well, try to focus on the positives of your situation rather than the negatives. I know what it's like to be in awful, life changing situations, and to deal with daily stress, and I know its hard to focus on positive things, but it really does help

Have you spoke to the dad since?



 
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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 10:51 AM   57
skyesmom
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it's good that your mom took that initiative. and please, go to that appointment. you need to get checked and know if the baby inside of you is ok. whether you decide to have it or have it adopted, they have their right to proper care.

of course, feeling like a total failure in this situation is normal. but you've kept it in and dealt all alone with it so far, and had no support system so no wonder you couldn't get excited.
you already did the toughest part of telling your ex and your parents all by yourself - and that within just a few days - give yourself a break, it takes time to take this all in, also to you.

and yes, children change your life for good and having a baby at 17 and be the only one to have it among your friends can be a challenge but it doesn't mean your life is over or that you can't take your chance at college and higher education anyway. it will be harder then without a child, but it is not impossible. and if you got a good support system, managing it all together is doable.

try taking it one thing at a time. for now, go to that appointment. and whatever decision you'll take, take your time to really think about it and also talk to your ex as he should be a part of this too.



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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 11:00 AM   58
Feronia
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You seem very mature and I'm sure that whatever decision you make will be the right one. Don't let anyone -- not your parents, not the father, a doctor, or your friends -- pressure you to make any choice that you do not feel comfortable with making. Every choice has an emotional consequence, and only you know yourself and your situation enough to decide. If you decide to keep the baby and raise him/her yourself, there is probably help out there for you and plenty of women in your situation have gone on to complete their college education. It's tough, and you'll have a level of awareness and maturity that your peers will not have, but you can get through it if you put your mind to it. I'm sure you're aware of your other options and the emotional and physical consequences that come with them.

It's great that you'll seeing a doctor, but I think the important thing is that you start taking a prenatal vitamin and eating healthy if you aren't already. You don't need an ultrasound -- that may or may not even be standard care in your area -- but it will probably be done for dating purposes since you're unsure. Best of luck to you, and I hope your parents come around!



 
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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 11:03 AM   59
skyesmom
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ah and one more thing (to all the teen mommies here):

there are certain advantages to having your children early, that you don't see now but you will discover later, and that's mainly:

- by the time you're in your late '30, your children will be grown up and independent, or well way more independent than a toddler is... meanwhile, you'll still be young, energetic and active to enjoy your life and your new free time you'll have on your hands.. with a bonus awareness of how precious that is. you may miss out on some clubbing and drunk nights in your '20s, but i assure you, partying when you're a bit more mature in your head just gets better.

- your kids have young grandparents. a thing NOT to underestimate at all - my own folks had me in their late '30s - which means that if i end up doing the same, they will be approaching 80 years of age when my own baby will be born - which can mean much less support in any sense. (fyi: i had two losses so having children before i turned 30 didn't prove so easy-peasy, anyway, never give up on your dreams!)

- by the time your kids reach college, you'll be in your mid 30s, which means full power working force with experience, meaning also a lot more money-making years before you hit pension, which makes it easier to be there as a financial security both for your kid and for yourself.

- a smaller generation gap, with all the cultural and mentality changes this brings.

- a chance to have your second or your third baby without the pressure of the age.

by this i don't mean to encourage anyone on getting pregnant as a teenager - it is a fragile phase in your life even without being pregnant, and not being financially stable or emotionally ready ain't no joke at all and puts a lot of strain on you, your life and all your relationships... i'm just speaking to the ones who are already there and may have a bad day or feel overwhelmed by the whole thing.

(AND i don't mean to discriminate or judge anyone who is in their 30's-40's or later and attempting to have a baby. there are many advantages to that as well, but i find people mostly point those out as they're quite obvious, and not much of this is said for the teens or young mommies)



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Old Oct 1st, 2014, 12:18 PM   60
ClairAye
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I'm the only person out of my old friends who had a baby/got pregnant. I got pregnant to someone I had known about two months, I had no job, I was living in a fairly unstable environment away from my parents. It's terrifying, scary and emotional, a lot of people on the forum have been there too College can wait too, I'm hoping to go next year after having two kids, I'll be 20 and if my plans go the way I hope I'll be at uni at 21 and finished uni at 24, there is still time for these things!

You need to go to the appointment though, you don't need to be scared!



 
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