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Old May 26th, 2016, 17:54 PM   1
nadia511
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I'm in a tricky situation..


This is going to sound so cliché, and I can't believe I've become one of those girls. I am 16 years old. A few weeks ago, I drunkenly slept with one of my best friend's boyfriend. And now, I've found out I'm pregnant. We're kind of friends and I never thought anything like this might happen, he nor I are the type of people to sneak around.

I've not yet decided what I want to do (I'm roughly 6/7 weeks along). But I'm having conflicting thoughts on how I should go about this. Do I tell him? Do I tell her? So far I've only told another of my best friends that I trust entirely. My heads everywhere right now, and what I want is some guidance, with both how I should deal with the father, and what the best thing to do in this situation is.



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Old May 26th, 2016, 19:35 PM   2
Kiwiberry
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The first thing i think you should do is let your parents know. Do you have a good relationship with them? You will need to setup your first OB-GYN appointment. You and your baby's health are the first thing you should be concerned about. As for the young man who is the baby's father, I would tell him. He does deserve to know. Telling your friend however is honestly up to you, she is not on a need-to-know basis but she probably will find out. So it's really all up to whether or not you want to face that consequence. I wish you the best of luck sweetie. I hope you figure out things and they work out exactly the way you want them to.

Being a young parent is tough but you can do it just keep your head up mama.



 
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Old May 26th, 2016, 19:51 PM   3
AlliW1013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nadia511 View Post
This is going to sound so cliché, and I can't believe I've become one of those girls. I am 16 years old. A few weeks ago, I drunkenly slept with one of my best friend's boyfriend. And now, I've found out I'm pregnant. We're kind of friends and I never thought anything like this might happen, he nor I are the type of people to sneak around.

I've not yet decided what I want to do (I'm roughly 6/7 weeks along). But I'm having conflicting thoughts on how I should go about this. Do I tell him? Do I tell her? So far I've only told another of my best friends that I trust entirely. My heads everywhere right now, and what I want is some guidance, with both how I should deal with the father, and what the best thing to do in this situation is.
As a mom about 3 years older from you here in June, here's my advice to you; Be honest. You need to tell the father of the baby that you're pregnant, or it could do more harm than good for the baby. I know what it's like growing up without a father, and it's probably the worst experience you can ever feel as a child. If he walks away from that baby knowing it's his, then that's his loss and you could get child support. But, if he's willing to accept that he made that baby and is willing to stay with you, then that will be a really big help to you and to that baby in the long run.

I also believe that you should tell your friend what you did. I know it's going to be hard, but I think she should know what happened and that you're sorry. She may be angry at you for a while, and she may be understanding and realize that you getting pregnant this early in your life is punishment enough. Either way though, being honest is better than lying.

As for what you should do with your baby, I think that if you want to keep the baby, then go for it. But be prepared to deal with everything that comes with it. Babies are hard work, and pregnancy can be hard as well, but if you put your mind to it then you should be able to do it . If you don't want to keep your baby, then I would look into adoption as a first option so families who can't have kids can possibly take that little baby into their home. If that doesn't suit you, you can always look towards getting an abortion. Whatever you feel you want to do, go for it . It's your body, and your baby. The decision is all up to you.



 
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Old May 27th, 2016, 06:57 AM   4
aidensxmomma
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First and foremost, keep hanging in there hun. Getting pregnant at 16 is a big deal so be gentle with yourself, think things through, and don't stress too much. Everything will work out somehow in the end.

A good place to start would be to tell your parents. Hopefully, they can be supportive and help you figure things out. And you also need to tell the baby's father. He deserves to know. But remember, teenage boys can be quite stupid and he may not react well. Just prepare yourself for that. In time, he may come around. The same is true for your parents if they react badly at first. As for your friend, I think that you should tell her. Although you may want to wait until you've had time to come to terms with everything and have a plan, etc. It'll make dealing with whatever reaction she has easier.

Finally, if you want to keep the baby, then do it. It will be challenging but it's entirely possible to have and raise a child at 16. Not everyone will be supportive of it, but if it's what you want to do, then do it. You can.

I got pregnant with my son shortly after I turned 16. I had only been with his dad for a couple weeks at the time and it came as a huge shock. I was in denial for probably a month before I even decided to test. It was all just incredibly stressful and I was freaking out. Fortunately, my mom was supportive when I told her. Other family members weren't quite so supportive. But in the end, everyone came around. My son was born a little more than a month before my 17th birthday and he's been the absolute light of my life ever since. It was really hard at first, I won't lie. It was a hard to learn how to be a parent and how to be in a relationship with his dad and how to balance everything. But I went back to high school in the fall when my son was 5 months old and graduated on time (I was pregnant with my second by the time I graduated as well). I'm now 24 and my son is 8. It's been a bumpy road to get to where we are now, but having him is still the best decision I've ever made in my life.

I'm sorry for writing a novel - I figured it might help if I told a little of my story, too. If you need anyone to talk to or want some advice, feel free to PM me. I've been in a similar situation and might be able to help some. If anything, I'm a good listener.

So take a deep breath. Everything will work out.



 
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Old May 27th, 2016, 23:07 PM   5
DaisyDreamer
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I agree with everything PP's have said.

Tell your parents, see a doctor, be upfront with the father of the baby and your best friend.

Like they all have said, pregnancy and babies are hard work. There will be a lot of judgments and criticisms but you will be surprised at who will support you also. Just remember you are not alone in this

Keep us updated



 
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Old May 28th, 2016, 11:45 AM   6
Waiting4babe
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I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I understand that is a tough situation. My advice would be to be honest with everyone. Are you wanting to keep it or place it for adoption? Have you thought about your options? Feel free to message me. I'd love to be a support for you.



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Old May 28th, 2016, 13:01 PM   7
MissYogi
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First of all, , that sounds like a really tough situation and you must be feeling really stressed.

I know I should tell you to tell your parents right away, although I feel that I would be a hypocrite if I said that because I'm sure if I was in your situation that would be the last thing I'd want to do based on personal, complex relationship dynamics. But it is important that you tell someone who can help you to guide you through this, someone you trust who can help you make this decision.

Then it will be really important to make an appointment with a doctor to make sure you are healthy because no matter what you decide to do your body is very important.

As for telling your friend and her boyfriend, it is definitely up to you, although I think that you will feel really guilty to keep it a secret.

Just remember that whatever you decide to do, will be the right decision for you. Lots of people are going to tell you what they think you have to do, but in the end it is your decision. Take your time to think through your options and decide what makes the most sense for you. Good luck in your journey!



 
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Old May 28th, 2016, 16:50 PM   8
Kmx
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Really feel for you in this situation. We have all been there - done something which isn't the "right" thing to do. Don't beat yourself up about it.

First be honest with yourself - what do you want to do? You will know deep down.

If you don't want to go ahead then I personally (rightly or wrongly) wouldn't disclose the information to your friend.

If you do then you will need emotional support. It will be hard but I guarantee you in ten years time it will be forgotten and forgiven and you won't regret it.



 
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Old May 29th, 2016, 05:51 AM   9
nadia511
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Update!


Thank you to everyone for their support and guidance, it was much needed. I followed what most of you said which is to tell my parents. They didn't take it so well, but I'm sure not many parents would. I decided not to disclose who the father of the baby is, as I haven't made up my mind of what I want to do. I also have not yet told the father of the baby for this reason. I have a doctor appointment booked for next week to see what's going on. Once again, thank you for your help. I'll be sure to keep you updated. :)



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Old May 29th, 2016, 13:58 PM   10
DaisyDreamer
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Thanks for letting us know. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you to tell your parents, but glad you are getting set with a Drs appointment. Hope it all goes well for you dear Xx



 
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