Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Jul 11th, 2016, 11:03 AM   1
SterlingDove
Pregnant (Expecting)
New BnB member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 1

Judgmental Families?


So I just found out I'm pregnant a day ago. It was the biggest shocker. My boyfriend wasn't too surprised and he's been very supportive and I know his family will be too. The issue is my side of the family. They've been crashing down on me about finishing school and doing things "the right way". I want to announce it to them but I'm soo afraid. My mother is the type to tell me I'm a horrible person if she feels I did something wrong and my dads side of the family is very religious and judgmental. I've been somewhat relying on my parents for financial help and I don't know what they'll do when they find out. Really nervous about the whole thing but I want to make it work.

Has anyone else had harsh family members like this?



Status: Offline
 
Old Jul 11th, 2016, 15:16 PM   2
wish4baby
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 950
I'm not a teen mom anymore, but once upon a time I was
When I was surprised with my first, about 16 years ago, I was SO scared to tell my family. My mom was (is) a very emotional person & my dad can be quite scary lol. (I was living at home, never had a job, completely financially dependent on them at that time)

I ended up telling my mom, 1 on 1, while my dad was out of town on business. It went much better than I expected, obviously my mom cried & everything, but she was the one who told my dad & he had a couple of days to adjust before we saw eachother.

Oh, my mom is also really religious (Catholic) and she kind of accepted it as God's will and "every baby is a blessing" so...maybe it's possible your family will handle it better than you think? Also, it may help to tell someone (grandma, dad or mom) alone, and get them on your side to tell the others? My mom ended up telling our extended family herself & taking most of the "blame" & shock/surprise, so when I saw them, they were a little more adjusted to the idea.

Also, I want to say that my mom ended up being my rock & best friend during that hard time! She was right there through that pregnancy and helped SO much with the new baby. We weren't very close before then, I was kind of a bratty teen lol, but everything changed when I found out I was pregnant, and we are still really close now. I really hope the same happens for you!



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jul 12th, 2016, 22:47 PM   3
MeaganMackenz
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 1,983
I was scared to tell my mom about my first and I was 19. She ended up guessing as a joke and I couldn't hide it. She flipped tbh when I thought my dad would be the one who would flip. It was my dad and my grandma who had a calm talk and ended up being okay with it. But my mom flipped right out. Screaming yelling etc. She was totally unsupportive and against it.

Now her and my oldest are thick as theives and she was even there for the delivery.

Family surprise you. Good luck



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jul 13th, 2016, 04:59 AM   4
beanzz
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6,404
I was 18 when I fell pregnant with my first and I couldn't tell my dad because I thought he'd hate me but he turned out to be so happy and so supportive. My mum just advised on the best thing to do but my decision was made so she had no choice but to support me..

They all come around eventually but they might surprise you with how they react like my dad did. School can still be completed even if you end up having to delay it a little while so she can't stay mad at that part either if she is good luck! Hope it goes better than you're expecting it to



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jul 13th, 2016, 05:38 AM   5
cupcake23
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: London
Posts: 1,517
I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant, in my first year of my degree, my mum flipped but my brother was the most critical of me (my dad is not in my life so he took that role!)

It took time for my family to adjust, your family will too, it is a blessing and they will eventually see that x



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jul 13th, 2016, 17:58 PM   6
aidensxmomma
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Wisconsin, U.S.
Posts: 5,275
I was 16 when I got pregnant with my oldest, right before I started my junior year in high school. I was terrified to tell my parents and FOB's parents. Telling my grandma was really scary as well since her and I are incredibly close and have been all my life.

I ended up really surprised by everyone's reactions. My mom was supportive from the start, as was FOB's mom. My dad was really indifferent (but he's not a huge part of my life anyway) and FOB's dad was surprisingly really excited. It was my grandma who reacted the worst - she absolutely lost it and was so upset. Eventually, though, everyone came around and was supportive and excited. It was a pretty similar situation when I got pregnant with my second - I was 17 and in my senior year of high school. The only difference was that my grandma was supportive right away and my mom lost it.

I finished my junior year of high school at my regular school and then switched to an alternative high school my senior year, although I still graduated and did the whole ceremony and everything.

My older kids are now 8 and almost 7 and despite the unconventional start to our family/lives, things really are great now. My kids are both very close to all of their grandparents/great-grandparents.

Good luck and I hope telling everyone works out well!



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jul 16th, 2016, 01:40 AM   7
Jessicahide
Pregnant (Expecting)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 2,230
Quote:
Originally Posted by SterlingDove View Post
So I just found out I'm pregnant a day ago. It was the biggest shocker. My boyfriend wasn't too surprised and he's been very supportive and I know his family will be too. The issue is my side of the family. They've been crashing down on me about finishing school and doing things "the right way". I want to announce it to them but I'm soo afraid. My mother is the type to tell me I'm a horrible person if she feels I did something wrong and my dads side of the family is very religious and judgmental. I've been somewhat relying on my parents for financial help and I don't know what they'll do when they find out. Really nervous about the whole thing but I want to make it work.

Has anyone else had harsh family members like this?

I'm 31 and i have a mother like yours, i was frightened to tell her i was expecting, some mothers are just going to be unpredictable and it doesn't matter your age, some people will try to ruin and make the situation about them.... Tell her when you are ready, and don't allow her to upset you xxx good luck, h&h 9 months xxx



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jul 16th, 2016, 10:23 AM   8
NinjaKitty5
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Falling waters WV
Posts: 146
i'm not a teen mom anymore ... But when I fell pregnant with my first daughter Madison at 15 it was a lot to take in for my parents . To be honest I expected my mom to take it better than my dad and it turns out my dad was more supportive from the get go . My mom of course came around ❤️ Don't be to upset if they do flip for a little while . It's a knee jerk reaction . And I'm sure they will be happy and come around in due time . Congratulations ❤️



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Aug 25th, 2016, 00:36 AM   9
KayDB
Pregnant (Expecting)
New BnB member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Memphis, Tennessee
Posts: 2
We're practically in the same boat!
I found out I was pregnant a couple days ago with my first child and I'm having mixed feelings because I'm young and my boyfriend and I planned to not have a baby out of wedlock.
His parents are from Tennessee (extremely southern) and mine are from the islands if anyone knows what that's like. My father is a bishop and author while my mother is a minister/pastor and an author. I'm dreading telling them because island people are extremely judgemental and some religious people can be also. My boyfriend and I have an apartment together out of the state my parents reside in and he takes care of all the expenses which is probably the most significant difference between our situations. There's really no easy way for either of us to reveal the news other than growing some balls and avoiding hesitation. I don't plan on telling my parents until I'm passed my first trimester (I learned this is when most miscarriages and other complications occur.) I'm a little late on this post so if it went well with your parents, awesome. If you haven't told them yet and you're religious, pray and go for it. I too have to take my own advice. Xoxo



Status: Offline
 
Old Aug 26th, 2016, 00:51 AM   10
LennaG
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 74
I found out I was pregnant back in April at 19 years old (Currently 24 weeks now) and I was so scared of telling my parents too. I was in college out of state and had just gotten a car, job, boyfriend. Then I found out I was pregnant..boyfriend was supportive and convicted me to tell my parents. I told my mom and she was very calm about it, asking me what I wanted to do and stuff. My dad however, was very angry, asking me how I could let this happen etc. He was NOT accepting. He saw more of the logical side of having a baby, wanted me to abort the pregnancy, told me things with my boyfriend would fall apart and that I was too young.

Month later things in fact did fall apart with my boyfriend. I had dropped everything and moved in with him, but he wasn't caring and didn't provide a safe environment for me. He had abused me emotionally and financially (as I paid his way for everything our whole relationship AKA he didn't have a job). Anyways, I left him, moved back home. He threatened to take the baby away from me when it was born saying I was unfit to be a mom.
When i got back home my dad was still trying to convince me to abort the pregnancy. He was supportive in the sense that he was telling me everyone makes mistakes and that he wasn't mad, but he was set on the fact that my only option was aborting. I was 12 weeks at the time and had seen the heartbeat at 7 weeks. I really did think about aborting my baby, even made an appointment. However, I couldn't do it. Once I decided I was keeping the baby, he wasn't happy about it so we didn't talk about it for awhile. However, he is supportive now that he has come to terms with my decision.

I think your parents will be the same as time goes on. They will probably be unhappy at first, but it seems like you are in a better situation with a supportive boyfriend, so I think that will help. I would just be honest with them and if they yell and tell you how stupid you are for telling this happen, just be calm and say you understand. Just be positive. When you go for an U/S, send them a picture...they will warm up to the ideal in time Im sure.

I wish you the best of luck with everything!



Status: Offline
 

SEO by vBSEO