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Old Sep 12th, 2017, 04:33 AM   41
happycupcake
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Oh gosh, you poor thing. I'm sorry they were like this with you. I think it's probably more shock at the moment, they may start to realise what they said wasn't the right way to handle things once it sinks in. It takes time. They are probably more angry at themselves than with you, as they probably feel they went wrong somewhere because you didn't feel you could go to them immediately but what they have to understand is that not only are you pregnant at a very young age which in itself is incredibly stressful, but you became pregnant in an extremely violent way. This isn't yours or your babies fault.
Are you certain you want to have them adopted? Have you talked it through with anyone? I think you should, if you haven't. It's a huge and very final decision to make. I know you know this, and I'm sure you haven't taken anything lightly, but really think about this before. I don't think you have to have your parents consent, I'm sure if you approached social services they would help you through the process. Maybe it's worth talking to them? Because not only could they help you with this, but they can also help you and support you should you change your mind and decide to keep them. They would also provide details of any help available to you with whatever you need, I would imagine. They may even be able to set up meetings with you and your parents to talk things through so you can all air your thoughts in a neutral environment with someone there to help keep the peace.
They may be able to help with school as well.

What's important right now is you receiving every kind of support you need.
As for the disgusting person who raped you, it is your decision and yours alone whether you do anything about it. You don't have to. You can if you want. It isn't too late. I didn't report those who abused me for almost seven years. They were still arrested and it still went to court and one of them was convicted. With regards to physical evidence the sooner the better if you're going to report him, but this absolutely doesn't mean you can't do anything about it later on if you feel you can't cope with that now but may be able to later on. Physical evidence is one thing they look for, out of a number of pieces to the puzzle. They don't solely rely on this one thing.
It's a long and hard process and incredibly stressful, I certainly wouldn't advise you go ahead in your current condition because at the moment you have to focus on you and your babies. But maybe don't rule it out later on. Personally I would urge anyone to report, but it is completely understandable why some choose not to.

I think you're an amazingly strong young woman. You have been through so much and yet you're still here, fighting. You have overcome so many things you didn't think you could. And you know, your parents haven't reacted how anyone would want, but you still told them and this is what matters. You had the balls to do that and it takes a lot! If you can't be a mum to these two now, which is understandable, I haven't a single doubt that one day later on, you will make an amazing mother. You're a true credit to yourself, don't forget that



 
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Old Sep 12th, 2017, 05:21 AM   42
wookie130
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Awww, hon. You absolutely did the right thing by telling them.

I know they didn't respond in a favorable way, but they probably reacted sheerly out of emotion, and they simply didn't know what else to do...it sounds like their response was fairly knee-jerk and hasty, and they definitely need grace for that. You did just drop a major bombshell in their lap, and they're going to need TIME. Perhaps in a few weeks, they will approach this more gently and rationally with you...I know you're disheartened, but know that they do love you, and they also need time and space to work this situation out in their own heads too. Hang in there. It's better that they know, no matter how they reacted in the end. That took courage on your part.

As for adoption, this is a very very difficult decision, and it's one to not take likely. That class can be taken over again, and while that stinks, that's something that can be fixed. Adoption, on the other hand...that's a big, big deal. Please consider talking to a professional about this...it shouldn't be a decision that is based on how your parents reacted. It needs be be based on what you feel is best for you, and best for your babies. Either your parents will come around, or they won't, but the decision to put the girls up for adoption is something that must be based on your own life circumstances, your ability to care for and love them, and what you want your future (and their futures) to look like. This is heavy, and it's best to begin speaking to someone who can help you sort through the connotations of this option.

Good luck, dear. This WILL work out, one way or another.



 
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Old Sep 16th, 2017, 10:01 AM   43
Koifish
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First I am sorry such a horrible thing happened to you. I am glad you went to a Dr and have told your parents even if their reaction wasn't great. That's a lot to go through and a lot of emotions to take in and work through. Classes can be retaken and school can always be finished.

Before you make any decision either way talk to someone. Don't make any decision based off your parents. They will need time to come around and soak it all in. I am a mom of twins and it's a true blessing, it's hard but nothing in life is easy. I am not in your situation. If you decide to keep them twins are amazing and there's a lot of resources out there that can help you so talk to someone, look into them and take advantage of it!

Adoption is permanent. I am not against it at all but there's a lot to think through. I was adopted I love my family and I am at peace and blessed with it, it never bothered me. I have family who would love to adopt as they can't have children of their own. I also know people who have given children up for adoption and one was at peace with it, the other regrets it every single day. Make sure you talk it out and are 100% accepting and at peace with the decision.


As for them not arriving yet I am not sure how far a long you are but the longer they stay in the better. I made it to 33 weeks. It's best they stay in until 36 weeks and anything after that is fantastic.



 
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