14 years and pregnant... Help!

AshlaTano · Feb 7th, 2017, 05:38 AM

Hello everyone...

I'm 14 years old and I live in the Netherlands, so sorry if my English is bad. 3 weeks ago, I... I got raped (I don't know if that's the right word) by an older boy, I didn't know him. I didn't know that I could be pregnant, but about a week ago I wasn't feeling well and I went to the doctor. She told me that... that I was pregnant. I was shocked, confused, and scared, and I didn't know what to do. I haven't told anyone, except for some friends on Instagram. I'm really scared, what if my parents will find out? I don't have a good relationship with them and it will only get worse.
Anyone, please help me! I don't know what to do...

tcinks · Feb 7th, 2017, 10:52 AM

I'm so sorry this happened to you

Is there any adult you can talk to ? Why would your parents be upset with you for being raped? It isn't your fault.

Could you talk to the police? A guidance counselor?

mara16jade · Feb 7th, 2017, 21:02 PM

Have you gone to the police? You should tell your parents what happened, and then go together to the police. I'm so sorry this happened.

MyFavSurprise · Feb 7th, 2017, 21:23 PM

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I also have been raped before as a teen and it wasn't something I wanted to talk to my parents about, particularly my dad who I haven't ever had a good relationship with.. I also did not go to the police as it seemed worse to have to explain and re live everything, but it is an option especially considering the pregnancy.

Please don't let anybody ever tell you it was your fault or if you hadn't done ______ it wouldn't have happened.. rape is never your fault.

Do you have a teacher you trust that you could talk to? You could ask if there is a time you could speak privately with them? Or maybe your doctor if you feel comfortable with her?

AshlaTano · Feb 8th, 2017, 13:04 PM

I know that I have to tell someone (an adult) about it, but I can't think of anyone. I mean, I'm 14 years old and pregnant! How would they react? And what with my school? If my classmates find out... I always have trouble with talking to others, I'm quite shy... I'm actually afraid of talking to others, and especially about me being pregnant...

Parkep · Feb 8th, 2017, 13:27 PM

But the pregnancy was NOT your fault. Non of this is your fault. If you need to write your parents or a trusting adult a letter or email. Explain what happened and that you are pregnant.
Big hugs to you hun.

OnErth&InHvn · Feb 8th, 2017, 13:29 PM

Honestly?

I think your parents will be upset and shocked BUT they will accept you and help you after the initial shock or at least i would..

You HAVE to tell them.

So what if kids at school say something. Its your life and your baby's. Unless they are offering to babysit, ignore them. Kids will make fun of someone for anything these days sadly.

and please get yourself to a dr. You need tested for STDs and to talk about what happened to you.

ClairAye · Feb 8th, 2017, 15:05 PM

An adult such as a doctor would not react badly. It is not their place to anyway but being the victim of rape, I wouldn't imagine any adult judging you. Do you have a regular doctor or maybe one you've not seen before if that would help make it even a slight bit easier? Maybe a teacher? I'm so sorry you're going through this.

**Wobbles** · Feb 9th, 2017, 04:26 AM

Hi

You really need to be able to turn to your parents. I understand you are pregnant but you have been sexually assaulted. If your parents are not approachable can you turn to the school, a teacher you trust and feel comfortable with who can provide support you need to approach your parents firstly.

what about grandparents or a close family member.

What has happened to you is not ok sweetie, the pregnancy is not your fault and your parents should be there to support you, I hope with everything knowing little about them that they are. They cannot be angry, upset or anything else with 'you'.

Please talk to someone soon x

Wish85 · Feb 9th, 2017, 22:40 PM

I am sorry you are going through this.

You need to talk to your parents about the situation, regardless of whether you are shy. Personality traits does not change the fact you have been sexually assaulted which is a criminal offence. This needs to be reported.

You need an appropriate level of prenatal care for baby now that you know you are pregant ie checkup's, scans, prenatal vitamins etc.

You mentioned you went to the Doctor. Did they not provide you with advice, information on what your next steps should be or some sort of counsellor you can talk to?

As the other's have said, please know this is NOT your fault. Rape is never anyone's fault except for the perpetrator's. It is nothing to feel ashamed about.

All the best.

Feb 7th, 2017, 05:38 AM	1
AshlaTano Pregnant (Expecting) New BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2017 Posts: 6	14 years and pregnant... Help! Hello everyone... I'm 14 years old and I live in the Netherlands, so sorry if my English is bad. 3 weeks ago, I... I got raped (I don't know if that's the right word) by an older boy, I didn't know him. I didn't know that I could be pregnant, but about a week ago I wasn't feeling well and I went to the doctor. She told me that... that I was pregnant. I was shocked, confused, and scared, and I didn't know what to do. I haven't told anyone, except for some friends on Instagram. I'm really scared, what if my parents will find out? I don't have a good relationship with them and it will only get worse. Anyone, please help me! I don't know what to do...

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Feb 8th, 2017, 13:04 PM	5
AshlaTano Pregnant (Expecting) New BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2017 Posts: 6	Too scared... I know that I have to tell someone (an adult) about it, but I can't think of anyone. I mean, I'm 14 years old and pregnant! How would they react? And what with my school? If my classmates find out... I always have trouble with talking to others, I'm quite shy... I'm actually afraid of talking to others, and especially about me being pregnant...

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Feb 9th, 2017, 04:26 AM	9
Wobbles Mum (Mom) Administrator Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Chester Gal By Heart Posts: 99,694	Hi You really need to be able to turn to your parents. I understand you are pregnant but you have been sexually assaulted. If your parents are not approachable can you turn to the school, a teacher you trust and feel comfortable with who can provide support you need to approach your parents firstly. what about grandparents or a close family member. What has happened to you is not ok sweetie, the pregnancy is not your fault and your parents should be there to support you, I hope with everything knowing little about them that they are. They cannot be angry, upset or anything else with 'you'. Please talk to someone soon x
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Feb 7th, 2017, 10:52 AM	2
tcinks Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Kansas Posts: 1,783	I'm so sorry this happened to you Is there any adult you can talk to ? Why would your parents be upset with you for being raped? It isn't your fault. Could you talk to the police? A guidance counselor?

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Feb 7th, 2017, 21:02 PM	3
mara16jade Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: So. California Posts: 12,422	Have you gone to the police? You should tell your parents what happened, and then go together to the police. I'm so sorry this happened.

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Feb 7th, 2017, 21:23 PM	4
MyFavSurprise Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: USA Posts: 1,966	I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I also have been raped before as a teen and it wasn't something I wanted to talk to my parents about, particularly my dad who I haven't ever had a good relationship with.. I also did not go to the police as it seemed worse to have to explain and re live everything, but it is an option especially considering the pregnancy. Please don't let anybody ever tell you it was your fault or if you hadn't done ______ it wouldn't have happened.. rape is never your fault. Do you have a teacher you trust that you could talk to? You could ask if there is a time you could speak privately with them? Or maybe your doctor if you feel comfortable with her?

Status: Offline

Feb 8th, 2017, 13:27 PM	6
Parkep Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: British columbia, Canada Posts: 4,700	But the pregnancy was NOT your fault. Non of this is your fault. If you need to write your parents or a trusting adult a letter or email. Explain what happened and that you are pregnant. Big hugs to you hun.

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Feb 8th, 2017, 13:29 PM	7
OnErth&InHvn Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Ohio Posts: 4,888	Honestly? I think your parents will be upset and shocked BUT they will accept you and help you after the initial shock or at least i would.. You HAVE to tell them. So what if kids at school say something. Its your life and your baby's. Unless they are offering to babysit, ignore them. Kids will make fun of someone for anything these days sadly. and please get yourself to a dr. You need tested for STDs and to talk about what happened to you.

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Feb 8th, 2017, 15:05 PM	8
ClairAye Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Scotland Posts: 10,527	An adult such as a doctor would not react badly. It is not their place to anyway but being the victim of rape, I wouldn't imagine any adult judging you. Do you have a regular doctor or maybe one you've not seen before if that would help make it even a slight bit easier? Maybe a teacher? I'm so sorry you're going through this.

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Feb 9th, 2017, 22:40 PM	10
Wish85 Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Australia Posts: 2,061	I am sorry you are going through this. You need to talk to your parents about the situation, regardless of whether you are shy. Personality traits does not change the fact you have been sexually assaulted which is a criminal offence. This needs to be reported. You need an appropriate level of prenatal care for baby now that you know you are pregant ie checkup's, scans, prenatal vitamins etc. You mentioned you went to the Doctor. Did they not provide you with advice, information on what your next steps should be or some sort of counsellor you can talk to? As the other's have said, please know this is NOT your fault. Rape is never anyone's fault except for the perpetrator's. It is nothing to feel ashamed about. All the best.

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14 years and pregnant... Help!

Too scared...