I was dating the father for a few months.. We've always gotten in fights because he always tried to make me mad for no reason then bring me back up.. Like yesterday I was mad because he was always too busy for me but not for his friends, he'd talk to them a lot online but would always dissapear on me. Then we settled it and then he calls me and he said he'd call me back in 10 minutes because he's talking to his friend on facebook ????????????? I'm like wtf whatever I'm just gonna go to bed. We hang up then 2 minutes later he calls back laughing saying oh we're done talking. I'm like uhhmmm WTFFFFFFFFF I'm going to bed.. But I was just super mad. And he didn't even care. He'd always do things like that that he knew would piss me off. So now we're completely over and he couldn't care less and he was blaming me for everything. He even has my hamsters and he's threatening to kill them. It really sucks here I am with his baby in my stomach and I have no support from him.. Some times he made me feel so great so comfortable like I never felt before. Other times he made me feel like the worst person on earth. And I'm just doing the best for my baby.... I'm so upset I can't even eat but I have to.. I know he was talking to other girls, I saw messages and then he started deleting them. How can a 24 soon to be father be so imature and mean......... I don't know what to do. I'm so scared
listen hun, im gunna tell you what every one has been telling me. Give him spaceee. let him figure out HIS priorities. we think it should just click in their head because well HELLO we are pregnant! but it doesnt click like that for them. they are guys. once he sees his baby being born things might finally click for him! PM me if you need me
I agree. Either hes just really not ready for this ( in his mind) and so he feels he needs to do everything he could while he still has the freedom ( in a sense ) to go around and be a player before he has to step up and be a man and be a father. My OH was like that with his ex with his frist kid, The day she was born he did a 180 flip and was all over her and the baby. Mainly because she was doing the same thing, both cheating, both not really wanting to take responsibility ect. Anyways when we found out we were expecting he did same thing, he started drinking more again, started doing drugs again it pissed me off but he was never mean to me. One day i told him i was fed up with his fooling around,. messaging girls, staying at work late when i know hes out partying, i said i would leave if he didnt smarten up soon. He right away tried to cut back but he told me that he felt he suddenly was gonna lose his freedom again cause he would have to be at home asap and would have a baby to worry about. Now hes the most supportive person. Im only 15 weeks but hes already hugging and kissing my tummy and such. I think every guy just needs time, but hun dont wait for that tell him to leave and if he changes his mind give him a chance. But dont let him ruin your pregnancy experience or the joy of a baby. If hes a douche and doesnt care in the end, it was better off without him from the get go just be happy he gave you a wonderful miracle you'll soon be able to hold
Unfortunately some guys take a lot longer to get used to having a baby and sometimes that only happens when the baby is actually there. Give him space, I know it's annoying and hard, I understand completely, but if you're there then he may feel pressured and it's much better if they make their own decisions without anyone influencing it. It means that things WILL be better in the long run if they weren't influenced
i understand what you guys mean but that doesn't really give him a reason to be mean to me. He was like this before I got pregnant so we split but then i found out I was pregnant he was trying to step up and do what he can but he was still talking to other girls. Then he became more secretive about it. Every week he treats me like crap. We already split cause I can't take his bs anymore.. It's not healthy he has a double personality or something but I can't take it anymore. It hurts so bad but there's nothing else I can do. No one really had a good feeling about him either. I just kept hoping he'd change, but I'm just so fed up now..
I thought my OH and I were going to be over about a million times in the beginning.. it takes them awhile to realize what's actually happening.. and guys aren't exactly the most sympathetic towards our emotions/hormones.
Just give him some space, try to be patient (I know it's hard) - it'll be worth it in the long run.. don't give up hope just yet!
Everybody had a bad feeling about my OH too because he had anger issues really bad.. but the closer to the due date we're getting, the more he's maturing and learning to control himself.
. No one really had a good feeling about him either. I just kept hoping he'd change, but I'm just so fed up now..
He'll only change if he wants to, hun. Sad but true.
To be fair, if he's gonna be this mean to you before a baby, it's gonna be worse when you've had the little one.
You've come on this site for a reason, and just by your messages, its clear he isn't supporting you or even considering how you feel.
Yes, being a single mum is going to be hard, but you deserve to be treated with respect, and not this 'every week he treats me like crap' and his medical issues will not help you if you do get PND or any other type of baby blues.
He'll either clean up his act and come back to you,
or frankly, he can go fuck himself. You deserve the best, and that baby is your main priority.
To be honest hun, if you guys were done before you found out you were pregnant, and hes always kinda been a shitty bf then why stay, better to just be tolerated friends and have him in your childs life then a guy you hate seeing and a guy who seems to be more of an ass then supportive. jw hope it gets better hun
You don't deserve to be treated that way. Trust me please from experience. About 6 years ago when I was 18 I was dating a guy like that. Secretly talking to other girls behind my back and treating me like crap. He would yell at me if i asked where he was going. Pretty soon I found out I was pregnant. He was trying to "step up" too but he would still treat me like absolute crap and just act like I didn't matter. Well one night I couldn't get ahold of him (because he was out with his ex) and when he got home he was mad at me because I asked him why I hadn't heard from him in 2 days. He started yelling at me and beat the absolute crap out of me...I was 11 weeks pregnant at the time. I ended up losing the baby. No one deserves to be treated like crap. There is NO excuse in the world for actions like that. If someone loves you they would treat you with nothing but respect. Focus on your baby. He will grow up if he really wants to.
You guys are right. It's just, being so moody and carrying his child makes it all worse I guess. But I have to stop thinking about him and just focus on doing what's right for bubba cause he's depending on me.
And Rizzie I'm so sorry to hear that =( that's horrible.. Hope you're doing better and this pregnancy goes well !
I feel much better now. thanks a lot guys. my friends just don't understand and aren't so helpful. Good thing I found this forum ha
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