feeling like I'm growing up faster than my friends...
Hey mommies! My name's Dayna, I'm 20 and I usually post in first tri but occasionally pop in here. I'm only about 8 weeks but I already feel like a mom, and my priorities have straightened out in record time. It's so weird to see my friends who are all a year or two older than me and they're still out partying and worrying about hooking up and whatnot. I just don't feel like I can relate to them anymore and I'm actually happy that I'm not out doing the same things as them, I really don't feel like I'm missing out on much...I love my friends but I can see the distance growing. Anyone else feel the same?
Yup and it will only get worse the farther along you get. I have come to terms that I will never be the way I was with my friends before becoming pregnant. But It's good that you're already growing up! I'm 20 also.
i felt the exact way when i was pregnant with DD.. infact i rarely see my friends now. they assume that because i have a child i cant go out, and because im pregnant, getting a sitter for a night out isnt an option either. if im honest it used to upset me that they didnt even offer.. even when i knew i wasnt up to it anyway. but now i couldnt care less.
i have something way better than that now and thats my children. i spent last night mopping up sick but id still rather of done that than been out getting drunk when i finally pluck up the courage to try some mum and toddler/baby groups im sure ill meet new friends, ones with similar interests and children of similar ages. but im past going out partying and dealing with hangovers.. there are other ways to let your hair down and have a good time.. not to mention i certainly cant afford to do it anymore either!
i feel like such an old fogey sometimes but i guess its a part of having to grow up 'before your time' if you like.. if anything though i feel a much better person for it. my daughter gave me structure and routine and a feeling of finally belonging.. a few things i was really struggling with before her
plus no matter how far your friends drift youll always find great support and conversation on this forum
I feel ya... All my friends have slowly drifted away and I don't talk to any of them anymore because we all have nothing in common anymore. I'm going to be a mom now, and can't party with them or do the stuff they do. But that's okay with me - LO will make up for any lost friends =)
i'm probably going to be one of the only ones to disagree, i am 20 and 26w 1d with our baby girl and i'm still as close to my friends as i was before. we still go out but i just need to have more of a rest although 2 out of 3 do work with children so they understand my needs more obviously there are some things i can't do but we make up for it later on
A lot of my friends have gone off to uni, so i hardly see them and when they come back to visit they all want to go out clubbing! I've become so anti-social recently, i'm a bit fed up of talking constantly about baby things. It's always the same questions over and over!
It's just what happens, i'm sure when they are ready to have babies i'll have something in common with them again.
i've noticed i've grown up a lot the two girls i was friends with at 6th form were party animals and one slept with a different bloke every weekend (quite literally!) i can't see myself partying like they did + people say i'm missing out... i personally see it that i've come off better than them!
i've found that i'm better off without some of the "friends" i had before i was pregnant
I do love my friends, but I know how you feel. I'm also only 8 weeks and I already feel years more mature than them- but I always kind of was, even before I got pregnant. I was always like the "mom" of the group. I'm 19. My best friend is away at college but she comes home to visit. The rest go to my community college, but they all go clubbing, drink, smoke, etc. They do make time for me, but I usually have to listen to what they did over the weekend (clubbing, hooking up) or what they plan to do later that night (getting alcohol, finding a place to party, etc.) It doesn't bother me but I'm just at a different place in my life. I can't relate to it. The club never appealed to me before I was pregnant, and it certainly does not now. Luckily there's like 5 other pregnant girls in my town who have kind of acted like my little support group... and their priorities are much similar to mine.
I don't really have very many close friends. My best friend was the first person to know that I was pregnant and she's over the moon excited to be an auntie. Not too many people know yet but I'm not really around anyone who parties or anything like that.
Former teen mom here giving my perspective as I look back at my experience.
I know how you feel, because I have been there! The good news is it worked out well for me, and I hope it does for you as well. My DH & I knew straight away that we had a good reason to work hard. I was pregnant at 17, finished high school and went straight into college. I didn't get the party experience like a lot of my friends & I didn't get to go away to a big university, only a small community college. I remember being exhausted, starting classes with a 3 week old infant who needed fed every 2-3 hours.
I entered the work force with my degree & have been working hard ever since. We purchased our first very modest home at the age of 20 & developed good credit. Now at 26 I am working in management within my field and we are building our large dream home and have our second child on the way.
My DH used to be jealous of his friends who got to spend their money on "toys" (motorcycles, 4-wheelers, and other material possessions). Now his friends wish they had what we have now; settled down with someone to share their life with, developed careers, and a nice home.
I wouldn't have it any other way. We developed a great work ethic because we had so much at stake. At 17, we weren't able to give our son "the best" like most people want to, but he never went without anything he needed.
I hope all you lovely young ladies can look back in time & recognize that your hard work has paid off! Often we lose touch with old friends but our experiences bring new friends into our lives.
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