Tonight has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. Going to apologize now if this is long, but I'm so full right now and I just need to get everything out.

I told my mum tonight. Well, I threw my digital pregnancy test at her and she gave me a huge hug and said she's too young to be a gran lol. Then we told my dad and he was surprisingly okay about it, too. Lots of jokes, no shouting! So I was over the moon, and I spoke to OH and he was talking about not telling his parents for another month or so and I said how that wasn't fair because his mum would be annoyed if she knew that my mum knew that long before her etc. So he said he would go and tell them now.

He finally phoned me back an hour and a bit later, and starts saying stuff like "I can't be a dad, I can't do this, I want you to have an abortion" and I was like wow. We've already talked about all of this before. I had a termination when I was 17, and it's something which I still think about every today. I always said I could never put myself through the emotional trauma of that again. So for him to ask me that, I was really pissed off. I started crying, because the way he worded it sounded like if I keep this baby, he'll leave me. But he says he didn't mean that.. He says he hasn't worked for 4 years to get his degree to not get a good job. So I get more upset that he thinks getting a good job right now is more important than his own baby?! His degree won't just disappear. He could take an average job to begin with, and apply for grad jobs. He's talking about applying for jobs in England, and living away from me. I hung the phone up on him after calling him a fucking idiot.

I'm in tears right now, I can't even think straight. I don't want to do this alone, but I will if I have to. Everything was going just fine until his bloody parents knew about it. They don't particularly like me anyway, and they said stuff to him like how they didn't want this for him, and he didn't tell me much else but I can presume it wasn't great.

Cheer me up?

Awww

I'm so sorry you've had such a horrible night.. as you say you will probably have to this on your own but look how supportive your mum and dad were when you found out? you won't be alone. I'd suggest phone him back or phone tomorrow once everything has calmed down ask to meet up with him to talk things through face to face..

I'm sorry i can't advise more or help anymore with your situation but you can do it! and him asking you to go through an abortion because he isn't ready to be a dad or is listening to what his mum and dad say is immature and selfish.. he should have thought about it to begin with.

Huge hugs!

I'm not sure what to say But things can only get so bad, ya know what I mean? Worst case - you raise the baby on your own, and he misses out. If that's the worst that can happen, then that's okay because it seems like you have a fantastic set of parents to help you out.
I'm 100% positive things will get better though, it's harder for guys to accept pregnancy then girls. But he will. Chances are, he brought up abortion because he was scared. It'll get better, don't stress

It's just so frustrating because the last few days he's been excited about it! And now suddenly after he's spoken to his parents, he's dead set against it?! They've only met me once..

I've text him because I'm useless at getting things out over the phone, and I want clear answers as to what the hell is going on. He lives a couple of hours away so I won't be seeing him until the weekend (well, dependent on how this conversation goes). I know I could do it alone, but y'know.. I'd rather not. I think he's being so selfish. Surely a LIFE is more important than jobs. Jobs in his sector will still be around next year.

If he was excited before then it is probably his parents getting in his head, and those aren't his real feelings.
Try to be calm with what you text him - explain to him how you feel, how you want to raise the baby together, and how you feel like he thinks his job is more important then his family.

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. Hopefully he and his parents will come around with time. It does sound more like what his parents want him to do since you guys already talked. Give him and them some space and let them think about everything.

In the mean time your parents are supportive which is great so concentrate on them loving you and you taking care of yourself. The worst that can come of this situation is that you are raising your beautiful baby alone. You can do this and you are going to be a great mom! If you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to pm me!

Thanks guys.

He called back and I answered, we talked and I explained how I felt like he was being selfish to put a job ahead of his unborn child, and how insensitive of him it was to ask me to get rid of it. He's still being a pain, though. He expects everything to be handed to him. His family are pretty well off, he's never had a real job and he's never had to pay bills or rent. He expected us to get (these are his words...) a really nice flat, a good job and wage and everything would be great. Hah! I told him that I knew that wasn't the case. This was always going to be tough. He thinks he can just sail into a good grad job with a good salary, and I was like wow, you know that there around 1000 applicants to a basic sales assistant job around here?! Getting a good job really is not that simple right now. I told him that he might have to take something less than he's expecting for a while to keep us going, and then look for something better, and he's all "but I don't want a crap job, I want a good job" - who really wants a crap job?! Everyone wants good jobs, but there aren't enough! He talks to me about reality checks and if I'm making the right decision, but seems like he's off in dreamland!!

Ugh. Anyway. He's reassured me that he will support me, he isn't leaving me and he just got scared. He's back talking to his parents now, so we'll see what they come out with next..

I'm sorry youre going through this.. It's quite like the situation I was in.

I'd say his parents are influencing him, but at the end of the day, if he's worth it, he'll come round, and if not well you've got a gorgeous baby!
As for his degree etc, that just seems to me like things his parents would have said to persuade him keeping baby is the wrong decision..

I'd say have some space from each other, let him think on his own, but whatever you do, do not terminate if that is not what you want!

I hope it gets better xx

Hey firstly just want to say sorry your going through this. too be perfectly honest with you, i was like him at the start when me and my OH found out. i hate myself so so much for saying those things, i know for a fact that i said those because i was so so scared, i was frightened, worried and i thought my parents (especially my mum would be ashmed of me). she did try to influence me into getting my OH to have an abortion...

But then i realised that i simply didnt have to listen to her, this was my baby i was talking about. and now im so incredibly happy that im going to be a father!! i cant stop thinking about it and how fantastic holding my baby will be!! :') I couldnt even believe myself that i was actually talking about killing it, i guess what im trying to say is, try not to listen to him too much when he says those things as he might be in the same situation as i am :/ im sure he will come around and decide to support you in every single way!!!

Wish you all the best! x

Awww hun I think his parents are having a major impact on what he is saying right now.

Although I wasn't pregnant I was in a relationship with my ex for 8 years ( were together from the age of 15) His mum especially had a major impact on our relationship. She flipped out when she found out at 18 we were planning on getting engaged. Told him not to settle down with just one girl etc etc.... However I can't imagine being pregnant and having her say things to him such as you have your whole life to live etc etc before kids. Which I can imagine is what they are saying to him. Along with your throwing your whole life away.

He needs to find his own feet that stand up to his parents and say that whether he has there support or not he is going to be there for his child and do everything in his power to ensure that they have a good life.

Yes he has a degree hun but if he thinks he stands a chance of getting a well paid job with the way the economy is right now then he must be wearing rose tint goggles right now!! I graduated 6 years ago now and have struggled to get the wage that graduates are expected to earn - don't get me wrong I love my job though.

It's not going to be easy but he needs to prove to his parents he what's to do this!!! I'm hoping it's just shock and they'll come around though.

If you want feel free to pm me hun. Happy to be someone you can off load too if you need to