Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Sep 14th, 2013, 15:21 PM   1
boogerbug
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 33

Feeling pressured to let my 6 month old 'cry it out'


I'm not impressed.
Me and OH have been pretty good with keeping on the same level when it comes to things with parenting. However he strongly believes that a baby should be allowed to just sit there and cry. And I don't mean a light, fussy cry.. I'm talking about a throat scratching, trembling wail.

He has stated to me on more then one occasion that our son is going to be 'spoiled' because I don't let him cry. He constantly points out when my son crawls over to sit in my lap that I let him get what he wants far to often.

It drives me up the wall. I don't believe in letting my son wail. If he wants to be held and cries for me to hold him, I'll hold him. I have talked to him about this over and over again, but he continues to make comments that make me feel horrible.

I'm not spoiling our son... he likes to snuggle and BE with people, not left on his own to play by himself all the time.

I just don't know what to do.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 14th, 2013, 16:03 PM   2
snowfia
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,038
Do what you're comfortable with.
My OH was the same but he quickly changed his mind when he heard her screaming and then hated the sound of it and cuddled her himself. But he still constantly says I'm 'spoiling' her cos I pick her up when she's crying cos she's hurt herself and things like that, it annoys me, but she's more important
You're not spoiling him at all. They actually grow up to be more independent if they have a strong, secure bond and relationship with their mummy



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 14th, 2013, 18:39 PM   3
xx~Lor~xx
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Essex, UK
Posts: 7,268
Put your foot down and do what you, as a mother, feel is right for you and your child.

OH and I have also had disagreements on this topic, but three kids later and he has totally backed down, what I say goes with our children. I'm their mother and I care for them 95% of the time, so most of them time he just accepts what I decide. I am also not one to let my child cry themselves into hysterics. I will pick up my child, and no it doesn't make them spoilt, I have a 4 year old, very independent daughter, now, a 2 1/2 year old little monkey of a son and a happy smiley 5 month old daughter. Not leaving them to scream has done them no harm, and probably the world of good. So you go ahead and do what you feel comfortable with. At the end of the day he's not the one holding them, you are, so it doesn't make much of a difference to him in all fairness.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 16th, 2013, 14:32 PM   4
tinkerbelle93
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 2,553
He's 6 months old.. that's way to young to start trying to teach them discipline and you can't 'spoil' a 6-month-old. You're his mummy and care for him most of the time so you will have to put your foot down, hope he starts seeing sense xx



 
Status: Online
 
Old Sep 17th, 2013, 19:28 PM   5
Srrme
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 4,616
He's way too young to cry it out. He needs you, and he needs your comfort.

My toddlers (almost 3 and 2) have never cried it out (unless they're throwing a tantrum) and have co-slept with me and my husband from day 1 (still do). I tend to their needs very much, and they are SO independent it's ridiculous! It's annoying how people get this image that a baby is going to be spoiled, etc. if you tend to them too much.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 18th, 2013, 09:13 AM   6
xxchloexx
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: ireland
Posts: 839
Your right, keep doing what your doing now. I can't stand to listen to my little girl
Scream. She still comes into our bed during the night, she crys in her cot ,
Ill leave her for about 3 mins to make sure she isn't just fussing in her sleep, and then ill go in and get her. She always gives me a big smile and says hiya mammy! There's nothing wrong with giving your kids cuddles when they want them.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 18th, 2013, 12:30 PM   7
MommyGrim
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Near Wichita, KS
Posts: 1,610
6 months old is far too young. I'd definitely put your foot down! My daughter was EXACTLY the same. She hated her swing/bouncy chair or just not being held. So I held her ALL the time. Constantly got snide remarks from OH and the In-Laws but DD is 3 now and SO independent! She likes the occasional cuddle here and there but for the most part, she wants to do her own thing. I strongly believe it's because I gave her the security she needed when she was young, so that she now feels comfortable to be free now. Have you shown him any of the studies that show that CIO can be harmful to infants?? Maybe that will help show him why you don't want to do it?



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 18th, 2013, 15:05 PM   8
boogerbug
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 33
Thank you to everyone! Hearing all of this is so reassuring. The constant pressure, disapproving tsks, and eye rolls are really getting to me. I've tried to explain to him that our son is only 6(almost 7 now) months old and that his crying and fussing are really the only immediate way he can communicate.

Unfortunately the in-laws agree with OH. They're always telling my son that he's so spoiled right in front of me. I normally don't think much of it, but OH recently told me that his mother and grandparents commented on how much I'm with our son and how I don't let him cry. Or how I don't give them a chance to soothe LO. I have, however. If he's with my MIL and he starts fussing, I leave him. I let her try to calm him. But if he starts crying while he's playing and she's watching him, he keeps crying. Because like OH, she believes in letting a baby cry it out.

I've even tried to explain to him that it's completely wired into me to tend to LO when he cries. I can't resist. I think I might just have to sit him down and show him some of these studies. When I've told him it's not good to let an infant cry it out, he snaps at me says it's 'only according to a book'.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Sep 18th, 2013, 16:11 PM   9
Desi's_lost
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 5,088
Oi I know the feeling of those eye rolls and other discontented sounds. OH does it to me as he's really not used to parenting and doesn't understand you pick your battles with toddlers.

6 months is way too young for CIO and to be very honest, even if it wasn't, I don't recommend it. I tried it with my LO for a few nights..it helped neither of us and wasn't worth it. I won't even be trying it with my next LO.



 
Status: Offline
 
Reply



Bookmarks

Tags
feeling, month, pressured

featured articles


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search






SEO by vBSEO