It has been quite a while since I last posted and I am sure you can all understand between daily life there isn't much time for social media but I come needing major advice from people who have been in similar positions.
My LGs dad and I got back together in December but we didn't tell my parents because they'd have a problem with it. They never did find out but in July, they moved with me and baby an 18 hour drive away from where we used to live. My mom thinks my dad wanted to "get away" from LGsDad and his fam. They aren't bad news or anything they just aren't too well off and my dad has this idea in his head that I have to choose either LGsDad or my parents and it is really hard. LGsDad, will be referred to as K, has not seen LG since then and it is really hard on him and me and although my LG is only 16 months, one day I'm sure it'll make her sad.
Here with my parents, I have to work full-time, I am the only one cooking or cleaning and my dad constantly fights with me. My dad takes all my spare money left after daycare and child expenses are paid, for rent. I barely get to spend time with my LG and I feel terribly sad all the time. I am beginning to feel like a failure. My dad even has a rule that I am not allowed to eat dinner until my LG is asleep because, while she and everyone else eats dinner, I need to watch her and clean up after her but no one else is allowed to watch her after that so I can eat which therefore means I have to wait until she is asleep to eat. More than once I have had to eat sandwiches because everyone else got seconds of dinner and left me with no food.
I know moving out of home and moving in with K will be difficult and wont make everything better but I feel like its time we gave it a try. My parents will probably cut me off because I would be moving back to the other end of the country and not "choosing" them but I feel like K will at least treat me better than this. I know I won't have any money left over and itll be extremely tight but i feel like it might be a better option but both him and i worry that, because he still feels compelled to help his parents out financially- rightfully so, that we wont be able to afford to live together either.
Has anyone made it work? Living together without support from your parents?
I have lived out of home since I was 15. I'm now 19 and my husband, myself and our son are living back with my mother. We're helping out with my brother who has severe disabilities and has been diagnosed with end stage renial failure about 2 months ago (he's only 21).
Honestly, I'm not going to sugar coat it. It's not easy. Not one bit. Money being tight is a severe understatement. I'm in Australia, not too sure where you live but here is one of the most expensive countries to live when it comes to rent and groceries and bills, all that. I'm a stay at home mum and my husband works 6 days a week. I go without a lot of them time, in order for my son to have the things he needs and my partner to have his ice coffees every day and Friday drinks. I haven't bought myself anything since my son was born, not even the things I need. My underwear is torn, stretched and falling apart at the seams but I deal because there are more important things to spend our money on. Although may sound odd putting ice coffee and husbands alcohol before new underwear but those things are for his sanity. He works a manual labour job, 8+ hours per day, 6 days per week and he deserves to have a little bit of sanity.
If it's something you truly want to do though, go for it. Just remember to BUDGET!! Rent, bills and groceries come first. Look at where your money goes and see what kind of cuts you can make. Please and stick to it. Budgets make life a lot easier to manage xx Always over estimate your spending and make sure you know the difference between needs and wants xx
That's really unfortunate about your family. No one should treat you like that xx All the best to you and please update when you make a decision xx
All my love from my home to yours
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