Did I make the right decision..?? I love my son more than anything please don't get me wrong there. I got to see my two good friends for an hour today after not seeing them since I was almost 6 months pregnant and one shared something with me that just killed me inside.. She had an abortion because the guy wasn't there for her what so ever so I understand and get why she did it. But now it makes me think did I make the right choice keeping my son? Our situations are very different - FOB/OH is still around, were moving into a new condo this month, great job, plans to wed, we love eachother unconditionally.. She's exact opposite.. but now I almost miss the life I had with her having fun.. I want to cry thinking about it. I want both kind of life styles.. I've never been out with out my son, nor do I see friends much, I'm always stuck home doing nothing but holding him because my son will never let you put him down.... Its all getting to me bad, I think depression is creeping up behind me and I don't know what to do.. Or if this feeling is normal
I just need some help, advice whatever. If you've read up to this point thank you.
I know what its like to me a young mum and see friends that you had before the baby having fun etc. They get to go out and drink and party blablabla..
At first i was feeling really jelous and frumpy lol. Now that i have had oppourtunities to go out and do the stuff their doing i honestly dont want to. I would much rather sit home at night and cuddle up with my son then go out drinking and have random guys try and grab me bum etc. Ive come to terms with the fact that im a young mummy and that comes before anything else. But in the beginning it was a hard transistion.
There is nothing stopping you from hanging out with your friends still. Maybe they could come to your place and hang out when LO is in bed or napping? Or you mentioned FOB is still in your guys life, maybe he could watch LO one evening a week and you can have a girly night.. Your life doesnt have to stop because your a mummy, but you do need to make different things different priorities now. If that makes sense lol
It's very normal to feel that way. Your life definitely changes once you have a baby. Your friend who had an "A" probably is jealous of you too, even though her situation is different and she acts normal because she had an "A". I'm sure there are moments she's down when she sees your LO because you're experiencing something that she may have wanted to experience too. The best advice I can offer is to get out of the house. Whether it's to go out with your friends (bring your LO along even if he's a pain), go to the park just to walk, go grab a coffee, go walk around the mall, etc etc. Something that will get you out of the house, it'll make you feel A MILLION times better! I work full-time and go to school so I'm not stuck in the house at all, but when LO was newborn and I had mat leave for 8 weeks, I felt so depressed when I was in the house all the time, it's really difficult.
I see where you coming from. Somedays I miss my old life with my friends and going out. But when I look at my girl I wouldn't change it. I've started to go out for walks in town with my little girl and I feel much better. Not stuck in the house. People come talk to me and such. Also going out with my OH and LO. Meals out, walks, shopping... It really does make you feel better. And you don't need to stop your life just because your mummy. Im just not ready yet to leave LO with anyone lol but Im going to visit my family this month and probably will leave her for one night with my sister or mum so I can meet up with my friends who I never see (I live in another country). Just get out of the house and do things with your LO, invite your friends over, go out as a family, leave LO with OH and go out with your girlfriends.. Seriously, even little walks in town or mall makes you feel better!
Yes you did. And let me tell you why. I had an abortion and it nearly killed me I got very depressed by it and I hated myself for what I had done. But now I can see it was the right thing for me at the time or I wouldn't have the two most beautiful ladies in my life they are my everything. I had one because fob told me to he said we couldn't handle it and weren't old enough. After it was done I hated myself and resented fob. Never in a million years did I think I could of done it but I did and there's no turning back and I'm okay with it now as I said I wouldn't have the two girls I have now if I hadn't.
So don't second guess yourself just take pride in knowing your an awesome mom and that he's here and healthy
I understand how you feel. Even now I get a little sad when I go to lunch with friends who don't have babies and I realise how much things have changed for me... they still have freedom, a lack of responsibility etc. and are busy going out a lot, clubbing and having mad nights out. Having a baby is a lot of fun but definitely a very different sort of fun!
I do get a bit jealous but I remember I have the most beautiful little boy, an OH who I love to pieces.. so many things that other people yearn for and I remember that I am blessed really. You're boy is still really little but as he gets older you'll probably feel comfortable leaving him with others and having time to yourself. Me and my OH have started leaving him every now and then with his mum to go for dinner and have couple-time. And OH has said if I ever want to go clubbing or whatever then he'll happily look after Oliver for the night.. but I'm really not that bothered, going out and partying has lost it's appeal I would way rather stay in with my two men (:
If you are feeling too depressed then perhaps see your doctor, could be a bit of PND? I'd suggest trying to go out as much as possible for walks, for lunch, around shops etc. and meet up with people a lot and perhaps try some baby groups to meet other mums. xx
I felt like that after my first son and I got reassured that every parent feels that way. Ask someone to look after your son for a few hours and go out and see your friends. It'll make the world of difference to you and your son. Not only will you feel refreshed but it'll benefit your son too by having some alone time with his father or somebody else close to him.
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