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Old Aug 9th, 2012, 06:01 AM   1
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Anyone with 4yo DS please help... Bad Behaviour!!! ARRGHHH!!!

I have been on here before about DS's behaviour at various stages.

He is now nearly 4 and a half and I am told once he gets to 5 he will have settled down a lot but he is such a handful just now and I am struggling.

He does all the "usual" stuff like rebelling, saying no to everything (even while he is doing it eg "Put your shoes on so we can go to the park now" "NO! NO MUMMY NO I WILL NOT!" whilst putting on the afore mentioned shoes ) being cheeky, overly daring like trying to jump off walls that are way too high. He seems to only want to play games like having a battle or superheroes like "HULK SMAAAAAASH!" and Spiderman etc.

I guess he is getting fed up now it is nearly time for the schools to go back and we are running out of stuff to do at the end of the hols.

Also, I have a 10 month old DS which means I don't get to give as much attention to DS1 as I used to and it's especially hard when he is being demanding, throwing himself about the place. We have a sticker rewards chart that has recently begun to lose it's effectiveness and if he is really naughty he goes on the naughty step.

Some days he is brilliant and a great help with DS1 but on the days when he is playing up I just feel like I give up and I hate being SAHM.

I am ashamed to admit it because no one else ever admits to feeling like they can't cope although they must do sometimes. I LOVE my boys but I feel like I am a sh!te mum at the moment as I have no energy, can't seem to get DS2 to listen to a word I say and the only person he listens to is his Daddy. When he comes home from work it's obvious DS1 respects his Dad much more than me...

Anyway, I digress. As it happens DS1 is being a wee angel today which is good cos I feel ill. DS2 is really clingy and demanding (total opposite of how DS1 was when he was a baby) so I feel like I don't have enough time for either of them and I am always cooing over DS2 while shouting at DS1. It must just look like I love DS2 and hate DS1 at the moment which is so untrue. I just can't deal with the 2 of them sometimes. Maybe it will get better when DS1 is back at nursery after the hols and he can spend time with his wee friends n do more structured stuff. I dunno...

Thanks for listening guys. I just need some support as I feel so alone

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Old Aug 9th, 2012, 15:51 PM   2
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I could of written this myself hun, I know exactly how you feel. I don't know when it will get better I just hope that it does, I'm sure it's a phase and they like testing us, but I've been in tears twice this wk over ds2 behaviour. Your not alone and you're not a bad mum, just in demand and being pulled in all directions is tough. I posted about this is kids and teenager section if you want to hear someone in the same boat. X

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Old Aug 9th, 2012, 17:31 PM   3
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Boys have a huge testosterone surge between 4-5 years, so their hormones are all over the place. I've found 4 such a difficult age, but I think it's finally starting to get better. It really is just a phase, albeit a long one!

I find that discussing things with him and hearing his reasons for wanting/not wanting to do something usually helps. Natural/logical consequences also work well. If I really need him to do something without arguing I count to 3 and then go over to "help" him do whatever I asked, I never get to 3 nowadays.

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Old Aug 10th, 2012, 03:19 AM   4
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This could have been wrote by myself, Dec has so much energy right now he never knows what he wants and I never know what he is going to do next. He to always wants to play superhero like games but he also loves playing army (he wants to be a solider when he grows up) so he likes to pretend he is shooting and army crawling along the floor. When we go to the park he NEVER uses the playground equipment properly, he will crawl up the slide and jump of the top of it or stand up on the swing and try to reach the bar ontop

He also has a very bad attitude at the moment and has also tried a few bad words when being told off

I have been told things get better when they start school and better again when they reach 5, he will be 5 in 2.5 months time and all I can say is roll on October

You are not alone hun, I have several friends that have 4 year olds boys at the moment and we are all going through the same thing

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Old Aug 10th, 2012, 04:43 AM   5
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All I can say as a mother of three boys is hooray for school I shudder at the thought of homeschooling, sending them off to school in the morning helps me keep sane

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Old Aug 10th, 2012, 07:37 AM   6
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My 2 are the same ds2 is 3 next week and ds1 is 4 the week after!
Like yourself all they are into atm is spiderman and super heros and its driving me scatty! They only want to play xbox and on my laptop and are not interested in anything else unless they are fighting and screaming at eachother! ds2 acts like hes 22 not 2!
Im also having the phase of 'no' constantly as an answer to whatever i ask them to do ....but i have it x2

Ds3 is only 8 weeks and hes an absolute angel, couldnt ask for a better baby..but the other 2 constantly wake him up so i need to keep repeating myself for them to keep the noise down.

I must admit i am looking forward to ds1 starting school september because he really needs to be kept busy all day and ds2 will be at nursery in the afternoon. I know everything will get easier as they grow up it hasnt put me off having another

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