Guys i seroiusly need advice, im at my witts end with Coby now.
We have teh sleep thing sorted, he goes to bed at 8 and sleeps through till 7.
But now we have a new problem, he is such a little terror! If he doesnt get his own way he will hit or kick me, if that doesnt get a responce then he will pick up the nearest thing to him and throw it at me.
He just doesnt listen atall and wants to do things his way all the time.
On hols we battled with him everyday coz he wanted to walk instead of going in the pram, not a bad thing i know but hard work when he wants to go his way not ours...
If he wants food and we say no then all hell breaks loose and he has a major tantrum, i just dont know what to do with him.
I know all kids are diffrent but Charlie and Ethan were never like this! they had there strops and bad moments but not kicking/punching/throwing and shouting at me for being told no.
He isnt even 2 yet, i have done more of less the same as i did when Charlie and Ethan were little so why is he so naughty?
Is anyone elses child like this? or has been like this on the past?
I dont know what to do, its getting to the point where i dont want to be around him when he starts, really stressful
Layla, Charlie HATES being told no. I try to stick to my guns and dont let her have the biscuit, chocolate, etc. She can be a little monkey, and if she is very naughty (hitting nipping etc) I take her out of the room, and sit her some where quiet and safe for a minute and tell her that what she has done is very naughty. When she comes to me afterwards I will ask if she is sorry and she usually hugs me and says 'sorry' Although she has been know to whack me and laugh out loud. She then returns to a quiet place.
Also we have noticed a HUGE difference in her behaviour after she has had anything sugary. She isnt so much Hyper, but aggresive. She has given my Dad a black eye and thrown a wooden toy at her brother. We have cut it right down, and have noticed she is much better behaved.
how u do u feel about the naughty step i would personally take him out and of the room and get down tohis leave and explain that mums says no because its near tea time for example stick to ur guys first few days are hard and once he realised that no means no he will be less hassel and get jase to bk u up
Seren is/was the same. She went through a right strange where she would bite me if I said no to anything, and she threw things at me and hit me. I have just stuck to my guns and use positive attention. For example if she asks for anything like a biscuit and I say no she has a tantrum and I ignore her till she is quiet and then I make a fuss of her. If she is being naughty, as long as she isn't causing harmto herslef or anyone else then I again ignore her, for example the other day she wouldn't sit down after I asked her to. I ignored her and when she sat down and made a massive fuss of her. When she hit, bit or threw something at me I would say no "you have hurt mummy, and that makes her feel sad" and would look sad util she gave me alove. It took a while but she stopped biting, very rarely hits me now and hasn't thrown anyhting for ages. She still has tantrums when told no, but she is a toddler. We have also cut out alot of sugar from her diet, she hardly has sweets or chocolate and drinks either water or milk aoart from rare ocasions and she seems clamer.
However we also have the walking where she wats issue,and it is a nightmare lol.
My brother was hyperactive and drove my mum to distraction. This was before Supernanny etc. My mum got some advice from the hyperactive children's society and totally changed his diet, this worked to some degree but it had been going on so long it had become a learned behaviour. So, going with advice, she put locks on all the doors and, when he was being a little shit, she would tell him that she loved him but that she did not like his behaviour and she would lock him out in the hall. The idea was that removal from society was the consequence of anti-social behaviour. It worked, but it was hard going - but Matthew was a particularly tough case.
Kacy went through the bitting stage as well, i put her on the naughty step, yesterday i couldn't keep her on the naughty step and it hurts to keep picking her up and putting her on their, i did this for 10 mins so then i put her in her bedroom (she has a stair gate on her door), when she had calmed down a bit i put her back on the naughty step, then she said sorry.
We give her three chances and then she is on the naughty step, she have to keep to your guns hun it will get better.
thanks guys, its nice to know its not me doing something wrong!
I have been thinking alot about his diet lately, he does eat lots of fruit and veg but also does have alot of busciuts. I have noticed that every couple of days or so he will come out in a rash only on his face, but it goes by the end of the day, im convinced its down to food but i have no idea where to start in trying to figure out whats doing it.
As for teh naughty step, i have tried that but he screams and kicks and will not stay on it.
I will try the positive attention thing, thanks for that, thought about that last night, might work as he does respond when he gets told he has hurt someone, if we tell him to say sorry he will come and cuddle you so thats a good sign i guess.
On the flip side to this naughtyness.. he can be a complete angel, always wants to help you, Charlie and Ethan have pocket money jobs and Coby always helps them with it, if i ever drop anything hes the first one there to pick it up and give it to me. Each morning he comes in the bedroom and give us a kiss and cuddle, so i know he can be nice lol
The walking thing is a nightmare! i dont mind it to much coz its just him wanting to be inderpendnt, but it doesnt help if im in a rush to get somewhere lol
poor thing, its not easy being a mum, when i say no to Abbie, she has started to lash out, i go down to her level and say "that is naughty" and walk off, she will have a tantrum, but i try to ignore it, cause she knows she has done wrong and wants me to go and give her cuddels, she see's that i am not giving in to her, and then come to me and i hug her....
the walking bit, its a bit of a nightmare for me, if she is in her pram, and i stop, she gets out of it, and if we walk, she does not want to hold my hand, and try putting those harness on, thats a joke.....X x X
Layla hun it is so not you doing anyhting wrong. He is a toddler. Theyt don't know naughty behaviour (I hate hearing someone refer to a baby or toddler as naughty, I will tell Seren that drawing on the wall is a naughty behaviour but never would I say she is naughty), he is just exploring his boundaries and showing his frustration at not being able to do what he wants. Hang in there, it does pass. And as for the walking thinmg i am now resigned to the fact that it is going to take me an extra half hour to walk to the shops as Seren wants to stop and look at everything, and stand on the manhole covers, and run after the pigeons. It is frustrating but I think once you accept that its them enjoying their world it helps (though she goes in her buggy if I need to get anywhere fast ) Skiwi - don't get me started on those harnesses - I will just end up dragging her round if I put that on her.
We do use the rein things, but its a better version i think, its a little back pack that he wears and there is a lead attached to that that i hold on to, hard to explain but i like them better, plus he can carry his cup in it around with him then.
I think i will just have to leave eariler for school and shopping etc so he can have his time to run and play, forward planning! at teh supermarkets now he refuses a trolly, so he walks around everywehre there too, makes shpping so much longer lol
When i say he is naughty, i dont mean him, just the things he is doing, its come as such a shock for me coz Charlie and Ethan were so good, very plasid and laid back...just goes to show that every baby/child is diffrent hey!
Thanks for your advice, i will hang in there, its just so frustrating, doesnt help that hes not really talking either so he cant tell me what he wants/needs etc, its a guessing game.
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