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Old Jan 7th, 2013, 17:05 PM   1
Barnesmaries
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17 month old wants EVERYTHING in sight and constant tantrums.. help.


so my 17-month-old is completely tiring me out right now. she is going through an awful phase of wanting basically everything she sees or is not allowed. I tell her no she is too small for that or cant have that now and would try and direct her attention to something else but shes having none of it as shes so stubborn and she will throw herself on the floor and just cry and if i ignore her she will come up to my leg and cry and whinge until i give in which i do eventually because i get so exhausted constantly 'fighting' with her and being 6 months pregnant doesnt make things any easier.
but basically ALL day long she wants something and will whinge or tantrum for it? I wouldnt mind dealing with that a few times a day even but this is constant and basically stressing me right out.

Anyone any tips on what I could do/try?



 
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Old Jan 7th, 2013, 17:13 PM   2
seoj
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Honestly- I think you need to stay strong. Sorry. I know it's not easy- it's so much easier to just give in. But, if you do, then she learns she can get her way if she just keeps at it. My SD was very similar- not when she was that little, but as a bigger kid- she would argue soooooo much- that we found ourself argueing back! Um, hello, we are the parents! LOL. It was hard- and took a bit of time- but we had to stick to our words and not give in. no matter what. NOT EASY! Obviously much different with a LO- as you cannot reason or explain to them the same way... but the concept is similar.

Maybe she is old enough to have some quiet time? IDK. She's still so young- not sure that would work at all... she's prob a bit too small for time outs (to be able to do them or understand them). But maybe take her into another room for a moment- and try reading a book, or listening to music with her- something she likes and enjoys that can help her "reset" her little mind? Whatever you think would work best for her. Maybe even have a particular room you take her too for the reset- like a playroom or a room with less distractions? Sorry I've no great advise. My friends LO was like this a lot at that age... but it passed in time. I remember how frustrating it was for her though.



 
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Old Jan 8th, 2013, 01:58 AM   3
lovelylaura
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the only thing that kind of helped us was getting her sit on the bottom step of the stairs. she didn't really understand and I had to stand with her but it was 5 mintues of peace to gather myself together really then she would go again , it does get better although it still seems to happen and I have to just count to 10 before I react.



 
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Old Jan 8th, 2013, 03:14 AM   4
little_lady
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I keep all the really non-child stuff out of sight. Anything else, that's not really a child toy but isn't dangerous or fragile, I get down to her level and we explore together. So she can look at it but I supervise. I used to find I was saying no you can't do this or that, when the only reason I wasn't letting her was because I was too tired to clean the mess afterwards or something. I've tried to change that and let her explore more.

Other than that, I agree with seoj - if the answer is really 'no' then you need to stick to it and be consistent. She will learn. My LO is just coming out of tantrums, it was very frustrating but that was how I dealt with it.



 
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Old Jan 8th, 2013, 04:48 AM   5
firsttimer80
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We have just started dealing with this too. He wants everything that he shouldn't be playing with.
Everytime we say no he just laughs and does it more!!! it seems no way of saying it sinks in.
So a coupe of times I have actually physically moved him away and said no.
He hasn't liked that so there was some tears and a tantrum but he did get the picture eventually!!
(still doesn't stop him trying again the next day)
The latest is turning the TV on and off or hanging off the curtains!!

Guess we just have to persevere and be consistent and they will understand what they shouldn't be playing with!! I hope!!



 
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Old Jan 8th, 2013, 09:50 AM   6
mistyscott
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What are the things she is wanting?

Pretty much the whole downstairs of our house is toddler-proofed, and even in the kitchen we move anything dangerous out of the way. So ds has open access to most of what he can see. But he still tantrums when he doesn't get his own way and I find distraction (after he's finished thrashing around on the floor!) is the best strategy at this age.

Is she happy to play with you or does this have no effect on her wanting things? They don't really understand punishment at this age so it's probably a waste of your energy. Hard work aren't they?!



 
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Old Jan 8th, 2013, 10:27 AM   7
RebeccaG
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We are going through this although things seem to be a bit better recently - hoping we are coming through this phase!
I find when he's tired it's much much worse. I also found that if I explain why he can't have something or do something etc he doesn't seem to mind.
E.g at lunch today I was chopping up a pear for us to share and he wanted the sharp knife - I said no as its very sharp and I don't want you to cut yourself and I sort of went ouch on my finger and pointed sharp etc. it looked like he really listened and accepted it! I then put some pear in his bowl and he was happy. Maybe worth a try?



 
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Old Jan 8th, 2013, 16:33 PM   8
princesspie
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All of my down stairs is toddler proofed. Exept for a couple of vases with dried flowers around the fire place that my little girl has beer seemed to notice!
However if she is doing something she shouldn't be an starts to tantram I put her in her pushchair infront of the tv with a drink and snack and it calms her down.ost of the time she is tired and just needs a few minutes to relax and is fine again.



 
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Old Jan 8th, 2013, 19:42 PM   9
sequeena
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Thomas is 17 months and exactly the same. It's draining. Half the time I'm wondering how the hell he even manages to reach stuff! I say 'ta' and he will give it to me.... sometimes. TV remotes and phones are the worst he's like a ninja! He pops up out of nowhere and bam he's off with them ringing someone or recording dickinsons real deal



 
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Old Jan 9th, 2013, 03:49 AM   10
Bex84
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My down stairs is preety toddler proof. If she is doing something she shouldent i just say no thankyou and explain calmly. If she does again i just move her and distract if she carries on i just say mummy is going to count to five and you need to stop. If she tantrums i just say mummy knows your angry and its ok to be angry. I do just tend to put things she cant have out of the way as she is only exploring which is important in child development. Usually if something like a phone has been left somewhere she just gives it to me. We do lots of positive praise, neither me or dh shout, and we are consistant. Tantrums are just a way of expressing, they get stressed and use primitive brain which controls fight or flight. They arnt rational so its best to validate emotions and calm them down. If you get stressed they pick up on it. I would just decide on how you wish to set boundries which are age appropriate and stick to them. If your stressed take a deep breath and calm down we all get stressed and just be consistant so lo does not think is a game



 
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