Did anybody breastfeed their 1st child and formula feed their 2nd?
I nursed Evie for 33 months and I'm totally torn about what I'm going to do with our 2nd little girl due in June (for a few reasons really) so just wondered if anybody has actually done this, what was your reason for doing so? (if you don't mind me asking), how did you find it? how did you feel about it?
I did, although I only bf my first for a few weeks not months, then the nxt 2 were ff
It wasn't planned, I never made any decisions either way. When the midwife asked how baby would be fed I just said I would decid when baby was born. I have never attempted to justify the decision to myself let alone others, it's just what happend
Me! With my second child I was on a lot of medication because I went into psychosis. My doctor said I could breastfed but there's been no studies done. So I decided not to.
During the baby stage I was very upset about it, seeing other mothers feeding it made me feel like a failure as a mother. But now... He's grown up and no one else's know is still bf, so it doesn't bother me at all now. My son is happy and healthy and that's what matters, and I did that using formula.
Me, though I don't breastfeed Fin for long and really I didn't want to stop when I did. I decided very quickly with Amelia to formula feed.
I'm a SAHM and Ian works away a lot meaning for 20 months our world was team Mummy and Fin. Fin and are are exceptionally close and he was used to having me all day everyday to himself. I knew her arrival would be a huge change for him as was and BF her would make it even harder for him... Admittedly only in the early weeks, but those early weeks were weeks I felt he MOST needed my time and reassurance. I just couldn't take ALL my time from him and give it all to her, I had to find a compromise. A way to enable me to fully care for my darling newborn but also ease the impact on my son and reassure him of his importance.
Formula feeding her was that compromise and I maintain that it was ABSOLUTELY the right choice for us as a family, I had to look at that bigger picture. They are so close and well bonded and I do think that early reassurance and my still having time for him did help.
Everyone's situations are different and I'd not think for a moment our way would right for all, or that those that BF their second did so at the detriment of their first. Not at all. Some of the best Mums I know, the ones I most admire, breastfed their second child while maintaining their bond and assurance to ther toddler. But for US, hand on heart, it would have been detrimental to Fin emotionally to have so little of my time AND a new sibling all at once. This was a boy who couldn't even Bear for me to hug my husband as he got too jealous... Yet our way has meant he has NEVER shown jealousy towards his sister.
I guess it also helped that Fin had been formula fed a while and was happy, healthy and advanced. I was used to formula already and didn't see it as "demon juice" haha.
There was as well my own emotional reasons. I was used to being a very active Mummy to Fin but crippling and severe SPD had made me immobile and times and at others made it hard for me to even play with him. I felt like a letdown to him while pregnant and t was a VERY dark time for me. I was pretty depressed and in constant agony. Once I was free from the pains of my pregnancy I wanted to be able to play properly and do some of the things I and been unable to do with Fin. So it was also MY need for time with Fin that played a factor as well.
Of course, Amelia's needs were all also met, just formula fed. Fin isn't and wasn't favoured. There was an alternative food for her, but no alternative Mummy for him. That was the no-brainer for me. A newborn is completely and utterly dependant on you, you need to put SO much time to their care, but having a newborn for me don't mean I had to consider her only first and foremost. I cared for her while considering our whole family. Xx
I don't intend to BF the next one. I was really set on BF my first and was very stubborn. LO didn't feed very easily, was very fussy, bopped about all the time. We had a terrible first 6 months. The HVs all told me from week 1 I should quit BF and move to FF. I was heartbroken at the lack of support to a mother who was clearly wanting to BF yet their consistent advice was to stop BF and go to FF. We stayed on weekly weigh ins until she was 6 months and I cried on numerous occassions at weigh in because it was directly my fault she wasn't gaining. Even when we then changed to mixed feeding and then full formula at 5 months however her weight gain did not change so it clearly wasn't my fault but LO own make up.
I don't want to have to go through that all again - the failure was soul destroying - so unless it comes 100% natural and is dead easy with no fuss and follow ups then I'll be on bottles after a few weeks once the mixed feeding causes my milk to subside.
Hubs also works away a lot so I can't just sit about with a newborn with a very hyper active pre-schooler on my hands (considered to possibly have ADHD or autistic tendencies being monitored so no formal diagnosis)yet
I think we might possibly have discussed this before (this is ringing a vague bell but not sure if it was you!)
My mum did this, she bf me for a year but ff my brother from 4 weeks, mostly for the reasons kittyventura talks about, but also my brother was 'a big baby' and she was given a lot of (poor) advice that he needed 'more'.
can i just give a couple of thoughts? Just to say i have found bfing my second much easier than ffing my first. If anyone wants to talk more please pm. Also, i just did my peer supporters course and the value of the colostrum is just amazing, so if you possibly can, i really really would do your best to give your baby those first couple of days.
I too am happy to offer any support and advice about BF with a toddler (or two lol). My bf Journeys haven't been easy due to supply issues and some pretty hardcore cluster feeding from Violet lol. However we have gotten there and I'm almost at 6 months woohoo! Longest time I've ever EBF for.
It has been hard at times but in some ways it's kinda just fallen into place really. I have learned to BF her whilst walking around, I can do an insane amount of things one-handed and I think I know every single Julia Donaldson book backwards and upside down lol from time spent BF and reading
I have three under three, life is haaaaaard, really really hard, most days I'm in tears by 8pm if Thora still hasn't gone off lol but for ME breast feeding was just right. It may have been that formula feeding was just right and that worked better and I would be saying yeah formula worked better for us but in this instance it was BF, surprisingly. I have been told I should quit by a few people and I thought I might get to six months and do so but I'm two weeks away from that now and I don't want to.
All the best for whatever you decide to do, I'm here if you (or anyone) if you need any advice etc
I did it the other way round honestly would have found FF much more of a struggle then BF. I was able to calm Willow very easily and play with River easier then had i needed to hold a bottle, also getting out was so easy, if the toddlers climbing up the walls chuck your shoes on and thats it no worrying about bottles.
The long newborn (well upto 5 months) feeds were easy to manage with puzzles, books etc. Even things like bath time i thought easier with access to boob if Willow kicked off wrap her in a towel and feed her still one hand free to sort River out.
I considered FF this baby purely because i remember how the first week bloody hurt but for us I hope bf is successful because the ease of access to food/comfort was a life saver for me. I was a single mum from 10 weeks until Willow was nearly a year old, i really dont think i would have coped FF.
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