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Old Nov 7th, 2013, 18:13 PM   1
Amarna
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Working moms


Is anyone else staying motivated to keep working?

I work in inventory and shipping management for a small retailer of children's clothing. I got this job in April after months of job searching and I was (and am) really grateful for it. At first I enjoyed going to work but now I'm really struggling to be happy with the turn my home life has taken as a result of my working.

I leave for work at 7:15am to be there for 8:00am, it's a pretty long commute and leave work at 4:30pm, pick up Lizzy (DD1), my youngest, from the sitter after work everyday by 5:00 and get home by 5:15pm. DH gets our oldest (DD2) from school on his way home (she stays in the after school program until around 5:00 so has a really long day at school which I don't like too much either). By the time we get home all DD1 wants to do is eat dinner and then play for maybe a half hour and go to bed. DD2 usually has 2-3 books to practice reading along with spelling words and math homework, once she's done with all that and has eaten and bathed it basically time for bed. This means that from Monday through Friday I barely see my kids. And I'm really not happy with this arrangement. On nights that DD2 has dance class (twice a week) I can forget about seeing DD1 at all.

Everything just feels so chaotic and rushed all the time. How do you cope with doing everything and still make time during the week for each other?

DH and I have talked about me leaving work and staying home with the girls starting this summer once the house we have bought is finished being repaired. I might try to babysit a couple kids to make a small amount of cash and at least feel like I'm contributing something financially to the house. I'll feel bad though leaving my job because even though it bores me to death my boss has been nothing short of amazing to me. There's only three employees at the office and between another co-worker going on maternity leave, another cutting her hours down to teach a course part time at the university and my boss trying to start up a second business I'd really be leaving her high and dry since I'm the only full time employee she has. So even my solution has me anxious.

Sorry for writing the short novel up there.



 
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Old Nov 7th, 2013, 20:42 PM   2
Jaxvipe
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I definitely understand what you are saying. I work 32 hours a week and go to school 2 days a week as well. It's really hard when I think about all the time I am away from my daughter. I say that if you have the opportunity and you will be financial stable, stay home with your kids.

It does suck having to leave a job where you work with good people.



 
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Old Nov 7th, 2013, 21:34 PM   3
Jemma0717
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I wish I had more advice for you but I don't. Do you think they would let you cut back your hours? That's what I did and it's WAYYY better. I have a 14 month old and a 7 year old so I understand the whole homework thing as well. I get off work at 2pm (leave my house at 7am to be to work at 8) and after work I get Lily from my moms and then Landon from school. We come home and play, do homework, take Landon to tae kwon do, eat dinner, play a little more, bath, and bed. It has worked great. I LOVE working though....it's "ME" time which I feel like all moms deserve.

Could you cut back on hours?



 
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Old Nov 8th, 2013, 00:09 AM   4
SarahBear
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I work from home which eliminates the commuting issue, but I get done later than I did with other jobs which leaves me feeling like too much of my day goes to working. On the bright side, I do take breaks to nurse Violet and get to spend time with her on my lunch breaks (when I get them and when she's not napping). So I am lucky in that I get to see her throughout my day despite work going later than it did with other jobs. I would find your situation to be quite difficult. If I were in your shoes, I'd quit my job. Although you feel like you'd be leaving your boss "high and dry," remember that your boss can replace you. Right now you can fulfill your boss's need and continue to feel like you don't see your kids enough, or you can spend more time with your kids and your boss can find a new employee. As far as financial contribution to the household, remember that finances are not the only way to support a household. It sounds like being a stay at home mom might be the best choice for you.



 
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Old Nov 8th, 2013, 01:30 AM   5
lau86
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It's really hard isn't it. And I only have one child at the moment! I work part time 3 days a week. I wouldn't want to work full time and luckily I am able do what I want.
The days I work are very busy and rushed, it is always a juggling act getting everyone out in the morning and I am sure this will only get worse with two. My LO doesn't do any evening activities so that's ok but he is still only ours for an hour- an hour and a half in the evenings.
I think it sounds like cutting back/ stopping is the best answer if you're not happy with things currently. It's nice you are concerned about your boss but you can't please everyone....



 
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Old Nov 8th, 2013, 17:54 PM   6
Amarna
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Thanks everyone. It's nice to know I'm not alone at least. The two other girls that work with me are already part time and the whole reason I was hired was so someone would be there full time so I very much doubt cutting my hours is an option. It looks like for now I'll just have to bide my time at work and this summer, once we've moved house, I can leave and stay home with the kids. I would just leave now but DH is going to be the one doing most of the work on the house which means him working fewer hours (not to mention the added cost of repairs: new roof, two rooms completely rebuilt, floors, walls, heating system, etc.) so we need my paycheck until then.



 
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Old Nov 9th, 2013, 00:29 AM   7
JASMAK
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No time for each other.

I have three kids. Hubby works 6am-4pm on weekends, so I am a single mom on weekends. I have learned to do everything myself. Swim meets in other cities, sports, dance, tutoring, clothes shopping, housework and laundry is my weekends. Throw birthday parties and sleepovers in there.

Mondays and Tuesdays are our "hell days". We wake up at 6am. Hubby makes the older kids lunches, breakfast, and picks out clothing, brushes teeth. He, and the older two leave at 7:30am, and he drops the kids off at Before School Care, then goes to work for 10 hours.

I get the youngest dressed and ready, I shower, get ready for work. I leave at 7:45am and drive my toddler to childcare and then I go to work until 4:30PM (I work M - F 8:30-4:30). I then, drive, get the baby (my toddler), then drive and get the other two. That takes about an hour. I get home around 5:30Pm. I make dinner and the kids either ride bikes or watch TV. Hubby is off at 6PM. He gets home around 6:20PM. We eat dinner around 6:30-7 depending on if the kids let me make dinner (sometimes they are needy after a long day). We eat, do homework, bath, and bed by 9, we got to bed at 10PM.

Wed/Thurs/Fri hubby is off. He gets the kids ready, takes them to school, spends the day with 'the baby', housework, grocery shopping, medical/dental appointments. Picks the kids up, takes them to their swim practices, and I meet them at the pool after work. We go home...dinner, homework, baths....

Him and I get statutory holidays and time booked off days together...thats it. But...we are happy. Been married for 13 years.



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Old Nov 9th, 2013, 01:04 AM   8
superfrizbee
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Could you talk to your boss about going part time and maybe doing a job share?



 
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Old Nov 9th, 2013, 05:27 AM   9
lau86
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Oh my gosh jasmak that made me tired just looking at it



 
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Old Nov 9th, 2013, 16:33 PM   10
george83
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I fully get how you feel. I asked to go part time after having my son but wasn't allowed and didn't feel ready to look for a new job. I leave my house at 6.45 mon-fri and four nights a week don't get home until gone 6. On the one night I get home slightly earlier I pick up little one and go straight to do our weekly shop. I rarely get to feed my son his dinner or do any proper things with him. I get in from work and cook our dinner and try to keep on top of the jobs that need doing. My husband leaves our house at 5.30am and doesn't get home til 8.00pm so I get no help from him really either. I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and hoping I can go back part time this time



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