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Old Jul 20th, 2015, 04:00 AM   1
AngelofTroy
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Would you give your smart phone to spend more quality time with your children?


I read this blog: www.handsfreemama.com/about-hands-free/ this morning, and it really resonated with me.

I really hate to admit it but I am on my phone an awful lot when I'm with Micah, (often on this site and I make excuses to myself that if it's a parenting discussion then it 'doesn't count' ) and there are even times when he's asked me to put my phone away.

I watch how my mum interacts with him and remember how she interacted with me as a child, and he thrives from that 100% attention.

Something in particular about that blog got to me, the writer pointed out that even when we're focussing on our child and stop to answer a call/text/email, we are effectively telling our child that they are not our priority.

What do you all think about this? I think smart phones can be useful, I can quickly google a recipe for dinner or swimming pool opening times... But I think it's getting in the way of just connecting and playing sometimes.

I need a new phone as this one is playing up and the screen is scratched, I'm seriously considering getting a basic phone next time and seeing if it has a positive effect on family life (I know my hubby would prefer I turned off the phone once in a while!).

Thoughts? And does anyone want to join me in a week's smartphone during child's awake hours ban?



 
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Old Jul 20th, 2015, 04:51 AM   2
Dawnlouise30
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I haven't read the blog but I completely get what your saying.
I use my phone too frequently whilst Isaac is around and he does ask me to put it away sometimes too.
I kid myself that I will only be a second on it, we'll seconds turn into minutes and I essentially ignore Isaac. ...... i feel really bad now, but perhaps this 'reality check' is what was needed.
I'm now putting my phone away till Isaac naps.
Thanks for this post x x



 
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Old Jul 20th, 2015, 04:58 AM   3
AngelUK
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Haven't read the blog either but a similar one a few years ago where they ask if you are an iParent and it was not a good thing. Resonated with me very much. I don't use my phone when I am with my boys except to take pics of them or when they watch tv I might sit with them but secretly behind their back play Bejewelled lol I mainly use my computer to get online and for that I nip into the kitchen where they cannot follow. But I do it too often so yeah I need to cut down on that too.



 
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Old Jul 20th, 2015, 05:25 AM   4
sue_88
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No I wouldn't give up my phone. That's my enjoyment every now and again to surf the web and play a brain train game but only when I'm alone so nap time and sleep time.

I spend quality time with my daughter and she gets everything she needs and wants but I don't ignore her to go on my phone or anything and frankly don't know anyone who does in my circle of friends.

I of course occassionally make a phone call and answer a text but if she needs me at any point or asks for me, my conversation stops and I sort her, if it's a non-urgent request (i.e want to colour right now) I'd just say Mummy will finish her conversation and I will be right with you why don't you do x,y,a until I finish.



 
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Old Jul 20th, 2015, 05:35 AM   5
felix555
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I rely on my phone for my business.

I get about 20 FB messages a day for my business that I need to answer. I am busy, busy. There are times I am on my phone a lot.

I work from home so I can spend the majority of my time at home with my LO. he goes to playschool from 8 to 12:30 and I try to do the majority of my work then but there are many times I am on my phone.

So it's a pay off ... my son gets my attention all day except between 8:00 to 12:30 when he's at playschool but in order for me to do that I have to manage my business which is online so mainly by email/FB/phone/txt. I do most my actual (sewing) work when he is asleep at night anyways but during the day I have to be on my phone or my business would fail and I would have to get a 9 - 5 job.



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Old Jul 20th, 2015, 06:09 AM   6
Midnight_Fairy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sue_88 View Post
No I wouldn't give up my phone. That's my enjoyment every now and again to surf the web and play a brain train game but only when I'm alone so nap time and sleep time.

I spend quality time with my daughter and she gets everything she needs and wants but I don't ignore her to go on my phone or anything and frankly don't know anyone who does in my circle of friends.

I of course occassionally make a phone call and answer a text but if she needs me at any point or asks for me, my conversation stops and I sort her, if it's a non-urgent request (i.e want to colour right now) I'd just say Mummy will finish her conversation and I will be right with you why don't you do x,y,a until I finish.


Exactly this!
I think life has balance for both.



 
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Old Jul 20th, 2015, 08:01 AM   7
jd83
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I wouldn't give my phone up. I use it for way too many things; going back to the old-fashioned way would be even more time intensive to look things up, like recipes, booting up PC for emails, etc. I also think parents back then had other things to distract them. They weren't 100% paying attention to their kids all the time either. They were reading newspapers, watching the news, magazines, books, talking on the house phone, etc. I remember those things all being reasons for distraction with my mom, so its just a different method now with updated technology. I think the key is just remembering not to be fully focused on it all the time, because it can be easy to get absorbed in it. Technology is addicting. I use it plenty, but I also try to put it down and spend some quality time playing with the boys every day so that they get my full attention at some point every day.



 
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Old Jul 20th, 2015, 08:10 AM   8
catty
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I wouldnt give it up as nwes it to transfer money, find out meeting places, if im lost use it to find where to go. find out opening times and other things.

BUT just for example today we were in the playroom and the kids were happily playing away and for about 20 mins I didnt pay any attention and sat on my phone. I thought I could have gotten involved or said well done or done something so I would love to join you in a ban!
I do have some things that I would need to pick my phone up for mostly listed above but if its just to browse the web, come on here, instagram or fb then I really need to cut that out and keep it for naptime



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Old Jul 20th, 2015, 08:25 AM   9
joeybrooks
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It is hard to read, but does resonate with me, especially the cleaning part. Ethan will ask me to come sit with him and colour, or play with cars etc and I'm forever saying "just a second, mummy is doing the dishes, or mummy is tidying up etc". I work full time so get little enough time for my son, surely the tidying and dishes will wait.

Anyway, I once read that cleaining a house when a child is around is like brushing your teeth whilst eating Oreos. I can do the cleaning when he goes to bed, not that there is much to do, but I always feel better when it is clean, but it shouldnt matter so much that it takes me away from him.

Yes I am guilty of having a peek on my phone if he is playing happily, but as PP said, I could offer to get involved, which I know he would love.

I'll also go for a ban on the phone. I think I check it more out of habit to be honest than necessity but I will be more conscious of it and set it aside during Ethan's waking hours.



 
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Old Jul 20th, 2015, 11:10 AM   10
leahtaba
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I think that I personally need to curb my phone use, I'm a bit of a smart phone addict and I annoy myself with it. However I also think that in the case of your mum, it's easier for her to give 100 percent attention as she doesn't spend as much time with him as you if you know what I mean? Obviously when she sees him it's all about making a fuss which is a bit harder to do when u spend all day with you LO. Like a PP said, I'm sure if I locked my phone away before long I'd be substituting with other means of distraction



 
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