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Old Jun 30th, 2016, 11:14 AM   1
Mum (Mom)
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Dealing with disobedient behaviour

My DD has just turned 4 and is generally a good and happy little girl. Lately she doesn't listen to me at all. I know that's normal, despite being annoying. That was more like she didn't hear me, whereas now if I ask her to do something, she will deliberately do the opposite. For instance, if I want to wipe her face she will run away from me. Today I didn't want her to take her kitchen toys to her outside playhouse (it had been raining and we were about to go out). She deliberately ignores me, repeatedly. I know she has heard, as she ran in there when I said it and did it anyway. My patience is struggling and I feel like I am raising voice at her a lot. Not shouting, but you know the tone I mean. How do you ladies recommend dealing with this type of behaviour?

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Old Jun 30th, 2016, 15:15 PM   2
Mum (Mom)
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Stalking. I have a very newly disobedient 3 year old and am struggling with how to deal with him. Nothing works!

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Old Jul 1st, 2016, 02:48 AM   3
Mum (Mom)
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This is my little girl recently!

I have been explaining to her why I have asked her to do something, e.g. Please come and tidy your toys up because they will get broken if someone stands on them and you'll not be able to play with them any more.

If she ignores me I call her back and ask if she heard me and that she should acknowledge that she's been spoken to as I do with her.

If all else fails I add a consequence, although I know this depends on preference of discipline. For example, not going on a play date, not moving onto the next activity or putting her favourite toys away. I have never had to go through with any of these as she will just do whatever it is then that she's been asked to do/stop doing but personally, I feel like I need to her to know that she's being asked for a reason and not for fun, although I do pick my battles!


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Old Jul 1st, 2016, 03:24 AM   4
Mum (Mom)
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Yes we do natural consequences too where ever possible but not punishments. It they are not tidying up then they can have no new toys out or not come for lunch/dinner till it is done. Or if they dawdle before bed time, there will be no time for a bed time story.
But I don't threaten them with things that are in the future. Like I would not say if you don't tidy up then we cannot go to the party next week, cause likely you won't follow through and likely your child will either have forgotten why not or in that moment doesn't really care for something that far in the future
If you are about to leave, I would physically block her from running into the garden or lock the door or something like that. I have just noticed that my boys often did not really listen to just verbal "commands" if there was not also some sort of physical follow through. So instead of just telling them don't play with this, I would also take away the thing they were playing with and say: This is no toy, I cannot let you play with this. I will put it away. (just an example)
I also find that this way I get a lot less het up as I won't let the frustration build up so. Good luck, it is a difficult age.

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Old Jul 1st, 2016, 13:51 PM   5
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I'm dealing with my ds who will be two in September. He does not listen, and I know he understands. He has a very good vocabulary and can communicate his needs and wants.

He thinks it's funny to hit me, rip my glasses off my face or try and bite me. If I ask him to clean up his toys he throws them etc.

I know he knows how to be a good boy as he use to put away his toys, give me kisses and not throw his food all over and smash it into the ground.

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Old Jul 2nd, 2016, 13:38 PM   6
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Wow! Sounds like a battle of the wills happening at your house! I commend you for reaching out to find the right solutions for you and your child. My 2 DS is exhibiting some of the same behavior. When is is deliberately defiant, depending on the severity of his defiance, I put him in time out (1 min for each year of his age = 2 years). He is still learning about timeout so it is a struggle right now but he does get the concept that it is some sort of punishment. There are several other things that you can do to deal with these types of situations. I found a great article on the parenting website. Try searching by Dealing with Defiance. That article is very insightful. Hang in there! Let us know what works for you!

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