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Old Aug 14th, 2016, 09:16 AM   11
lau86
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I potty trained mine by saying 'OK, you're big boys now, no more nappies, you go in the potty or toilet'. They had accidents but it was being stubborn/ a slight fear of the Unknown. I just helped them clear up and as the days went by they realised the nappies were gone (except for bed time). As it becomes part of the new routine they realise themselves they can keep wetting themselves or they can just get on with it. It's like it's their choice then. The choice isn't nappies or potties it's wet pants or potty. This is the way I'd go if I was you.



 
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Old Aug 15th, 2016, 04:58 AM   12
morri
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By the way, there arent kids that wont go on the toilet at 10 years old(unless theres a medical issue) 4 years old is still young enough for kids . some kids are interested earlier some later and i think as long as he states that he hasnt got any interest you cant do much about it really..



 
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Old Aug 15th, 2016, 08:44 AM   13
_jellybean_
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Sounds like a tough situation. Not sure what I'd do TBH, b/c I can understand you going back to diapers since it seems like a huge hassle for you to have to keep changing/washing clothes etc.

Could you go online and find a toy that he REALLY wants?? Doesn't have to be expensive tho. And maybe tell him that if he at least tries to go in the potty for one day, get it for him? So what I'm saying is...make the reward time shorter? I had to do that with my son. Maybe chocolate buttons aren't doing it for him and waiting to fill up the chart is too much for him?



 
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Old Aug 15th, 2016, 14:02 PM   14
Natasha2605
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Willow82 View Post
Thanks all.

To answer previous questions:-

-he doesn't start school until he turns 5 which gives us a year to get him trained. If he had been born a week earlier, he would have been going in a few weeks. We would have been in trouble in that case!

-he has no health issues that could cause problems with potty training but he has always met the milestones late-he was late to walk at 19 months and he only had a few words prior to being 2.

-he has a Thomas potty book with reward chart and stickers that I've read to him a lot. It has not translated into any desire to use the potty. I'll buy pirate Pete though as a new book might pique his interest,

- we have tried making him change himself after an accident. Sometimes he's grumbled about it but it hasn't made him want to use the potty at all. Other times, he's been quite happy to change himself and then go back to playing.

The context in which he said he didn't want to is significant to me. He's often quite candid at bedtime in a way he isn't during the day, so I'm beginning to think although he is physically ready, he isn't emotionally. God knows when that will be.

We've decided to return to nappies and wait for him to take the lead. There will be a point where we can wait no longer i.e. when nappies no longer fit him or a few months before he starts school. I just hope that we don't have to wait that long. We don't have his co-operation at the moment so we have got nowhere.
If I'm being honest I think you are making a mistake putting him back in nappies. It sounds like it's become a battle of wills. If it was my child I'd be firm and just take a 'thats life' approach.
Absolutely agree. This sounds like a control issue on his part.



 
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Old Aug 15th, 2016, 14:03 PM   15
Willow82
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By the way, there arent kids that wont go on the toilet at 10 years old(unless theres a medical issue) 4 years old is still young enough for kids . some kids are interested earlier some later and i think as long as he states that he hasnt got any interest you cant do much about it really..
That is my thinking. If I don't have his co-operation, then it isn't going to work.

He doesn't really have a toy that he desperately wants that we could bribe him with. He loves his train track and we told him that if he collected enough stickers, he could have a Thomas engine. I guess we could have told him he could have one if he did all his wees on the potty for the day but I don't think this would work with him. He loves tv, he drives me insane with the amount he requests it. When I told him that he couldn't have any tv until he started using the potty, he started playing instead. Normally he would put up a fight. His reluctance to potty train is stronger than his desire for chocolate, tv, toys etc.

I don't think a battle of wills will lead to a positive outcome. When I think back to the decision to potty train, I did it because of his age, because it is the summer and pressure from other people and not because I thought he was ready. I knew he was ready in terms of bowel control but he has never ever told me that he needs to wee. I spoke to the health visitor today and as soon as I told her what he had said, she told me to stop and that he will be ready at some point.

So he is back in nappies. I've told him that I trust him to tell me when he is ready. I just hope that day comes sooner rather than later and pushing him before he was ready doesn't set him back too much.

I'm going to buy the pirate Pete book and put it amongst his books and I'm going to ask him whether he wants to go to the bathroom with me whenever I need to go. If I notice he is about to do a poo, I will ask him whether he wants to use the potty and accept his answer. I'm also going to make more of an effort to make him feel he has more control in other areas of his life such as choosing what to wear etc. I am also going to get him to take more responsibility for his nappy changes i.e. that he needs to get the nappy out of the box, put the dirty one in the bin etc.

I don't think I can do much more at the moment!



 
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Old Aug 15th, 2016, 14:21 PM   16
familygirl30
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Good luck with it Hun, yeah I have to agree pushing him is just going to make him do the opposite, I'm sure he will soon get it!



 
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Old Aug 15th, 2016, 14:29 PM   17
felix555
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Good luck you know your child best! There is also a Thomas Potty training book ... My son also loves trains / Thomas



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Old Aug 15th, 2016, 14:30 PM   18
felix555
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This is it ...
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thomas-Frie...dp/1405273070#



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Old Aug 15th, 2016, 14:40 PM   19
lau86
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Do you never get him to do things he doesn't want to? Not trying to be critical just curious!! I have battles daily! Eg brushing teeth, strapping into the car, wearing suitable shoes!!
Is he at nursery? Would the staff there have a word? Or maybe nanny/ grandad/ someone other than you?
We were watching my sons nursery video the other day and he was laughing saying 'that's xxx who poo'd his pants' of course we told him it wasn't kind to laugh and maybe he was poorly that day but kids do notice things and here, it's very unusual to not be potty trained at 4

Eta you know him best, go with what you think just trying to play devils advocate



 
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Old Aug 15th, 2016, 14:43 PM   20
Willow82
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Good luck you know your child best! There is also a Thomas Potty training book ... My son also loves trains / Thomas
Thanks. We do already have this. I read it to him the other night and when it came to the saying goodbye to nappies bit, he went "ohhhhhhhhh...."and looked sad. I think I might be changing nappies for a while!



 
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