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Old Aug 13th, 2016, 14:01 PM   1
Willow82
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"I don't want to potty train"


So said my almost 4 year old son when going to bed tonight. I've put a couple of threads on here recently about struggling to potty train him.

We've been trying to train him for a week with no progress whatsoever. Even at nursery, he was going through 4-5 changes of clothes.

Today has just been accident after accident. At least 7 wees and one poo all in his pants or on the floor. He is not a bit bothered about being wet.

We have tried having him bare bottomed, just with pants, pants and trousers. We have got a reward chart with stickers. If he does something in the potty, he gets 4 chocolate buttons. If he fills his reward chart, he gets a new toy. None of this he seems that bothered about.

We have tried sitting him on the toilet, taking him with us when we go etc etc.

Trying to talk to him about it is impossible. He won't engage at all. Today he started saying "ga ga" every time I started to talk about it.

I just don't know whether to call it quits and let him decide when to do it. I wanted to do that anyway but at almost 4 years, was beginning to lose patience.

The other part of me wants to ban tv until he starts at least attempting to do it but if he doesn't want to, how can I force him? I'm worried he'll never be ready 😭



 
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Old Aug 13th, 2016, 14:47 PM   2
lau86
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There must be something 'rewarding' (bribe) you could do? You just need to find what it is! Personally, I think it's tough, he needs to learn to go to the toilet and at nearly 4 you've not given any reason why he can't. Its a big deal to him for sure and I would acknowledge that but at the end of the day he can't wear nappies forever. Is he going to school?



 
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Old Aug 13th, 2016, 15:44 PM   3
Twag
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Have you tried potty training books with him like Pirate Pete? My son loves this book and also if he was a good boy and went on the potty wee or no wee he got a smartie

Worked a treat as he has been dry for about 3 months now 👍 only 1 accident and that was more he didn't get to the toilet on time



 
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Old Aug 13th, 2016, 15:48 PM   4
familygirl30
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Hi, I know u will have heard this all before but he will one day just get it and do it I'm sure! Have u read books with him like "pirate Pete" my son loved this book when we were training him. When did you very first start potty training? What I would do is if he kept wetting his pants and not been bothered get him to change his own pants when he wets them, he will prob soon get fed up and realise it's a lot easier to use the potty!im sure soon it will just click for him.Wish you the best of luck, my son was dry quite quick but he would poo in bedtime nappy for months and it was very frustrating.It got to his 3rd birthday and he told me now he was a big boy 3 he was going to do them on the loo,and he has done since : )



 
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Old Aug 13th, 2016, 16:01 PM   5
StaceyKor
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I think I agree with pp. By almost 4 (unless there's any other health issues that you haven't mentioned) there's no reason he shouldn't be ready to potty train. It kind of sounds like laziness or habit/convenience of using a nappy. Have you done what previous poster suggested and just put him in pants and if he does wet them force him to stop doing whatever he's doing and change the pants himself. The inconvenience of stopping playing for even longer than he would have done by just using the toilet should eventually encourage him to try harder to train. I'm not saying to make him clean up mess on floors etc but hopefully just having to take off the wet clothes,wash and dry himself and put on the new clothes might help him learn. It sounds like he has good communication skills so I think he would understand by this point xx



 
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Old Aug 13th, 2016, 16:23 PM   6
Zephram
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My DS1 says he doesn't want to do a lot of things - doesn't want to go to bed, pee before we go out, tidy his toys, etc, etc. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have to do it anyway - he's just being an ornery 3 year old.

I agree with everyone else. Absent any actual health issues, keep going. He will get used to it, sounds like he wants to hold on to nappies because it's the easy, lazy way. My son has been toilet trained day and night since around 3 and he still makes a fuss about going to the toilet sometimes. It's age related behaviour.



 
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Old Aug 13th, 2016, 17:27 PM   7
StaceyKor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephram View Post
My DS1 says he doesn't want to do a lot of things - doesn't want to go to bed, pee before we go out, tidy his toys, etc, etc. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have to do it anyway - he's just being an ornery 3 year old.

I agree with everyone else. Absent any actual health issues, keep going. He will get used to it, sounds like he wants to hold on to nappies because it's the easy, lazy way. My son has been toilet trained day and night since around 3 and he still makes a fuss about going to the toilet sometimes. It's age related behaviour.
have to agree. DD1 potty trained at 22 months....she's 4 now and recently acts up at bed time saying she doesn't want to pee before bed (usually ends up in a mini tantrum). She eventually gives up and pees anyway. It's just her trying to drag out bed time x



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2016, 03:49 AM   8
Willow82
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Thanks all.

To answer previous questions:-

-he doesn't start school until he turns 5 which gives us a year to get him trained. If he had been born a week earlier, he would have been going in a few weeks. We would have been in trouble in that case!

-he has no health issues that could cause problems with potty training but he has always met the milestones late-he was late to walk at 19 months and he only had a few words prior to being 2.

-he has a Thomas potty book with reward chart and stickers that I've read to him a lot. It has not translated into any desire to use the potty. I'll buy pirate Pete though as a new book might pique his interest,

- we have tried making him change himself after an accident. Sometimes he's grumbled about it but it hasn't made him want to use the potty at all. Other times, he's been quite happy to change himself and then go back to playing.

The context in which he said he didn't want to is significant to me. He's often quite candid at bedtime in a way he isn't during the day, so I'm beginning to think although he is physically ready, he isn't emotionally. God knows when that will be.

We've decided to return to nappies and wait for him to take the lead. There will be a point where we can wait no longer i.e. when nappies no longer fit him or a few months before he starts school. I just hope that we don't have to wait that long. We don't have his co-operation at the moment so we have got nowhere.



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2016, 06:11 AM   9
zorak
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Willow82 View Post
Thanks all.

To answer previous questions:-

-he doesn't start school until he turns 5 which gives us a year to get him trained. If he had been born a week earlier, he would have been going in a few weeks. We would have been in trouble in that case!

-he has no health issues that could cause problems with potty training but he has always met the milestones late-he was late to walk at 19 months and he only had a few words prior to being 2.

-he has a Thomas potty book with reward chart and stickers that I've read to him a lot. It has not translated into any desire to use the potty. I'll buy pirate Pete though as a new book might pique his interest,

- we have tried making him change himself after an accident. Sometimes he's grumbled about it but it hasn't made him want to use the potty at all. Other times, he's been quite happy to change himself and then go back to playing.

The context in which he said he didn't want to is significant to me. He's often quite candid at bedtime in a way he isn't during the day, so I'm beginning to think although he is physically ready, he isn't emotionally. God knows when that will be.

We've decided to return to nappies and wait for him to take the lead. There will be a point where we can wait no longer i.e. when nappies no longer fit him or a few months before he starts school. I just hope that we don't have to wait that long. We don't have his co-operation at the moment so we have got nowhere.
If I'm being honest I think you are making a mistake putting him back in nappies. It sounds like it's become a battle of wills. If it was my child I'd be firm and just take a 'thats life' approach.



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Old Aug 14th, 2016, 08:23 AM   10
felix555
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I would persevere with Potty training. My son did NOT want to potty train at all. I was going to wait until until he was ready ... He never was. He would not be able to go to the next class because he was still in the "nappies" class ... He was the oldest there at 3.5. I pushed through it was not easy and did take a few weeks but I threw out the nappies and braced myself for the mess. At 4 I'd push through and persevere. I think some kids show signs of being ready and some don't and need to be pushed. I had one of the latter



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