Hello, my eldest is 2 and a half and I feel at some complete loss with potty training.
We started trying to introduce the idea of the potty and toilet by reading her books (which she loves) showing her the toilet/potty and getting her to sit on the potty when she gets up, before bath, bed etc and she was quite happy with this.
I had my second daughter in November just after my eldest daughter turned 2 so didn't want to put too much pressure on her because of the change. In the last 3-4 weeks we've started to try the potty a bit more by having nappy free days, letting her choose big girl pants, praising her when she uses the potty, not telling her off for accidents but i feel so lost with it.
She has had wees quite often in the potty but i think its because I'm putting her on regularly. Sometimes i see her look down and I'll put her on and she wees but she has never told me she's weed, she doesn't seem to notice half the time. Sometimes she'll say it's wet but it's very rare. Does this mean she's not even ready??
I'm finding it really hard to keep my patience, i think its harder because my husband isn't doing anything. He just puts her in a pull up if i don't do anything.
Sorry for the long post but i don't know what to do. The health visitor is putting on a lot of pressure that she should be fairly good with potty training now.
Do i go back to nappies/pull up nappies? Or is this a big step backwards?
Considering she has a newish sibling and there isn't consistency with diapers versus underwear, I'd say she's right where you might expect her to be. If you want to keep a relaxed pace, just keep doing what you're doing and she'll learn. If she doesn't then you can get more serious about things when you're ready to get her out of diapers. If you want to try to get her out of diapers, you'll have to ditch the diapers and keep your patience. I wouldn't worry about whether you're reading her body language or if she's actually telling you. The skill of telling you can take some time and both keep her pants dry.
My daughter has been a nightmare up until the last 2 days where she's been accident free. I can say though consistency is key once I decided it was important to train her now for nursery it was gone with the nappies so there was no mixed signals. I also didn't use a potty straight to the toilet so there was no confusion over potty /toilet. Good luck I know it's frustrating but she will get there
I think it sounds like she's doing great and you just need to be more patient and push forward with it. I never did nappy free. We just went straight to pants one day and I set a timer and every 15 minutes all day we sat on the toilet. We did that for 4 days and then she was back off to nursery in pants from then on. She couldn't tell me she needed to go at all for the first couple days. We just used the timer and I watched her for signs. She maybe said she needed to go a few times a day after the first few days but really for a couple weeks it was a lot of watching and just making her go regularly. We also didn't go anywhere (other than nursery) for two weeks. On the weekends we stayed home. We also had lots of accidents the first few days, even with going every 15 minutes. It's really boring and stressful at times but it did the trick. I do think putting them back in nappies is confusing. If you want to do it, you all have to be committed and do it. It sucks at first, but you get through it and it does work.
For what it's worth we also used the toilet not a potty. We did have a potty for the car (in case there was an urgent situation) and we took it with us camping and such when it would be a long walk to the toilet. But at home she always went on the toilet. I don't know if that makes a difference?
Also don't feel pressured 2.5 is not at all late. All of my friends girls were around then and boys even later. We did it at 2 years 7 months.
As for the idea of "confusion" over the toilet versus potty, I didn't see confusion in either of my kids. Right now, my son (2 on the 20th) has a preference for the toilet, but will use the potty as well. My daughter on the other hand, didn't really have a choice of using the toilet independently at the same age because we didn't get a toilet seat reducer until she was a little older. She would, however, use it when we held her over it. She has just recently at the age of 4, developed a preference for the toilet.
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