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Old Oct 25th, 2017, 19:39 PM   11
Starlight32
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My husband is not very helpful and has never done nights or let me sleep in. He's never helped with bedtime so I'm not sure how he would "take a child". He wants another child but only likes the stuff he considers fun.

I'll need to go into it knowing I'll do 95% of the work!



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Old Oct 26th, 2017, 01:40 AM   12
SarahBear
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Originally Posted by Starlight32 View Post
My husband is not very helpful and has never done nights or let me sleep in. He's never helped with bedtime so I'm not sure how he would "take a child". He wants another child but only likes the stuff he considers fun.

I'll need to go into it knowing I'll do 95% of the work!
If he's not going to be a parent, then he shouldn't have a say in whether or not you have another kid. If he can't be an equal partner, then wait until your oldest is more independent such as upper grade school.



 
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Old Oct 27th, 2017, 05:58 AM   13
RaquelDee
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Originally Posted by Starlight32 View Post
My husband is not very helpful and has never done nights or let me sleep in. He's never helped with bedtime so I'm not sure how he would "take a child". He wants another child but only likes the stuff he considers fun.

I'll need to go into it knowing I'll do 95% of the work!
That’s an awful attitude on his behalf. If he wants another kid, he has a responsibility to buy in to all of it, not just the ‘fun’ stuff.

In terms of your earlier questions, I am in the very early days of having a newborn and toddler. We’re muddling through at the moment but we have both parents on board as much as possible.

I didn’t have any issues with picking up or carrying a toddler while pregnant and actually found my third trimester bump was a handy shelf to rest her on.



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Old Oct 27th, 2017, 16:50 PM   14
SarahBear
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The early days are very much muddling through. Took us a long time to re-work our bedtime routine and we had to revise it a bunch. Eventually we landed on something that worked.



 
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Old Oct 31st, 2017, 12:00 PM   15
Babybum35
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I'm ttc #2 now too. We started when dd was 18 months and she will be 2 next month. No bfp yet but I wanted to comment on this thread because of your comment that dh only wants the fun parts and others replies. My dh is the same way in that since dd is still breastfed and up/ down all night I handle all those feedings I typically have dd shower with me because our water can't handle 2 separate baths/showers unless they are a few hours a part but dh will come in and finish up while I get dry and clothes on. They also cook together but I am the one who does story time or the park. I don't think there's anything wrong with that but I also know that if I get another baby who is attached to mommy and can't self sooth or sleep through the night nothing dh does will help just like there's not a lot he can do now though dd is getting more attached to dh and cries for him to be in the room which he will willingly do for her.
Anyway I just think men and women see things differently and if your dh is not willing to agree to help more like making dinner some nights or taking your toddler to the park or something I would just wait until closer to 2 or 2.5 to ttc and that's only because I know that's when toilet training happens and that it's going to be on me to do it though dh will help encourage her to go I don't know how much he will do day to day.
I just wanted to say it's not right to judge anyone's relationship and while I know some dad's are super involved the kids personality determines a lot of it and now that dd is talking and more interested in interacting she seeks daddy out more so he's able to do more with her. I am still glad in some ways that it's taking a minute to conceive cause its nerve racking to think about 2



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Old Oct 31st, 2017, 14:09 PM   16
Starlight32
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We talked about ttc next month. Although he says he will pitch in more, it's hard not to be a but skeptical.

I don't mind doing most of the work with my daughter, but it's going to be too difficult with 2 to do almost everything.



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Old Nov 1st, 2017, 10:34 AM   17
Babybum35
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We talked about ttc next month. Although he says he will pitch in more, it's hard not to be a but skeptical.

I don't mind doing most of the work with my daughter, but it's going to be too difficult with 2 to do almost everything.
I agree. I know its always the goal to get a quick bfp but take your time I'm telling you the next 6 months brings changes that may make things better or harder depending on your kid. At 2 I think it will be easier and funer for dh to do things with dd while I take care of a new baby. I also know from this age on it will be easier to leave her with someone else she knows. No matter what its not gonna be a walk in the park for either of us



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Old Nov 1st, 2017, 12:11 PM   18
apple_20
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I'm going to be honest a baby and toddler is hard (I had a two year old when my youngest was born). And I have a very supportive partner who often took my eldest out to give me a sort of break.

If I didn't have a supportive partner I think it would have broken me.

And my toddler was 'easy' very chilled, not a runner, didn't need picking up and often played on his own.

I don't mean to freak you out but it's worth being prepared!

My two are now very close play together and I don't regret my age gap for a minute!

Good luck with whatever you choose



 
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Old Nov 1st, 2017, 15:27 PM   19
itsnowmyturn
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I am in the middle of doing this! My daughter is 2 year 10 months and my son is 3 weeks old tomorrow. Omg everything is ten times harder the second time round. The pregnancy is so so much harder, figuring out what to do with the toddler while you give birth is hard, the recovery is so so much harder and looking after the baby is harder!
I wish I had done if either earlier before my daughter got so demanding and needed entertaining 24/7 or much later when she was fully potty trained and could do much more for herself.
We are pretty sure this is our last child but if i was to do it again I would now be waiting until my son started school, today was the first day I had time just me and my baby as my daughter had nursery and it felt much more settled and far less chaotic.

Last time I felt pretty much recovered after a week or so this time although I'm feeling mostly ok it's taken 3 weeks and my pelvis is still very painful from spd (I had it in both pregnancies)

I'm sure I will look.back in years to come and be glad that I had this age gap but right now it feels like we didn't time it particularly well lol



 
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Old Nov 2nd, 2017, 12:41 PM   20
Babybum35
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Its that sounds rough. I'm hoping to potty train my dd this winter and hoping to be pregnant by this time next year. I just know I'm gonna be 33 so if I'm not pregnant by 34 then we will be one and done but not by choice. I hope things get easier for you.



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