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Old Nov 4th, 2017, 19:25 PM   1
Mum (Mom)
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My 3yo doesnít want to be 4

Ds just had an EPIC meltdown not wanting to eat his dinner (not helped by my dh losing his temper) and after what took me forever to calm down I was talking to ds about what happened. He told me he didnít want to grow up as he liked his number (3) and didnít want to be 4 😢

I kind of said something along the lines of, sometimes itís hard growing up but you donít know if you donít like 4 because you havenít tried it yet...

I donít feel like I handled it very well or said anything very helpful or comforting. I asked what he was worried about being 4 but all heíd say was he liked his own number.

What would you have said?? How else can I stop him worrying about being 4? I donít want him to be sad on his birthday.

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Old Nov 5th, 2017, 13:27 PM   2
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I’d tell him that he can still be 3 after his birthday if that’s what he wants. Then I’d talk about all the exciting things that’ll happen, cake, presents etc. I’d expect him to get over it very quickly!

Logic doesn’t work with them yet, so I wouldn’t bother trying to explain. I’d just try to make his actual birthday as happy as possible.

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Old Nov 5th, 2017, 14:06 PM   3
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I think it's pretty normal and I don't know that there's much you can do to fix it. Violet didn't like turning 4 or 5 either. I'm pretty sure 3 was hard as well. She didn't like it because when you get old, you die and she is afraid of dying. Also, even a lot of adults don't like getting older, so it isn't exactly unique to children.

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Old Nov 6th, 2017, 07:12 AM   4
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Awww him!

There isn't a built in manual for these things eh. I probably would have got all excited about how he's 4 what he's doing for his birthday etc and how beautifully he's growing up (give example) BUT that's because I've had time to think about the answer.

I'm sure it'll blow over

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Old Nov 8th, 2017, 10:28 AM   5
Mum (Mom)
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My Ds and my friends DD both had the same problem coming up to 4. I tried not to make a big deal of it with Ds and eventually he told me why - it turned out he wasn't ready to be 4 because he hadn't learned how to shave yet and he didn't know how to read and write! I managed to resist the temptation to burst out laughing and instead reassured him that these were things he'd learn throughout his life and promised that he'd wake up on his fourth birthday feeling exactly the same as he had the day before.

He's not had a problem with any birthday's since - although he did have a wobble at four and a half because he wasn't sure if he'd be capable of looking after a baby if he has one when he grows up!!!!

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Old Nov 8th, 2017, 10:51 AM   6
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My 4 year old said the same thing about being 4. I have no idea what I told him, but we talked about why he didn't want to (like playing games and stuff) and how we could still do that when he was 4, but he would get taller and be able to reach things better, or some small change like that.

Basically I told him it would be just like being 3, but he could do more things because he'd be bigger. Or something like that. It passed quickly. He's very happy being 4!

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Old Dec 4th, 2017, 03:51 AM   7
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It happens with most of the kids. Sometimes they demand unusual thing and sometimes don't agree to do the right things. But it happens because they are just babies. Let them grow up and they will understand everything by themselves.