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Old Mar 28th, 2018, 15:13 PM   1
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Barred from School Activities as Punishment


My son's pre-K has been planning an egg hunt for a while now. We donated plastic eggs and candy and the parents are invited to attend on the weekend. Last night, my son's teacher sent out an email to all the parents of his class (there are four different classrooms participating). She said they decided that on the last two days before the hunt, kids will have to earn six stickers out of ten (with five opportunities each day) or else they won't be allowed to take part in the egg hunt.

I'm irritated about this and I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not. The egg hunt has been in the works for a while and it was never tied to something like this, it was presented as more of a family activity (and this school doesn't have a lot of those, so I'm always happy when they do). I feel like telling parents and kids the day before it starts is tough too -- usually we need a bit of time to talk to our 5-year-old and build things up, chat with him about good behavior. All the kids are a little off this week because they just came back from a long break + the holiday's coming up.

Anyway, I'm probably being THAT parent. I understand the difficulty of maintaining discipline and I know it's not easy to find effective methods with little kids. But I think having it come up at the last-minute has thrown me for a loop ... how would you feel?



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2018, 15:21 PM   2
fxmummyduck
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I wouldn’t be happy at all about it!! I don’t think you’re that parent. The whole sticker thing in 2 days and it being sprung on the kids I think sounds really unfair. Are you friendly with other parents? Do you know how they feel about it?

How are the kids that potentially may not earn enough stickers to take part going to be dealt with?! Them and their parents have to sit and watch?!! It doesn’t seem thought through at all to me. It should be kept as a fun family event!



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2018, 16:06 PM   3
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Seems like a good opportunity to work off some energy and have fun. It could be said kids who find it hard to behave in class need that even more.

I can see it as a punishment for something specific like punching another kid or something but it doesn't seem very healthy just for general classroom stuff. It feels a bit like it is separating some kids out as being 'naughty'. I believe bad BEHAVIOR should be punished but making a child feel like they ARE naughy doesn't encourage them to improve.

I'd say either the teacher is mean or she is just a bit desperate and lost as to how to control the class.

Are there may kids in the class that often don't get enough stickers?



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2018, 16:57 PM   4
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Quote:
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Seems like a good opportunity to work off some energy and have fun. It could be said kids who find it hard to behave in class need that even more.

I can see it as a punishment for something specific like punching another kid or something but it doesn't seem very healthy just for general classroom stuff. It feels a bit like it is separating some kids out as being 'naughty'. I believe bad BEHAVIOR should be punished but making a child feel like they ARE naughy doesn't encourage them to improve.

I'd say either the teacher is mean or she is just a bit desperate and lost as to how to control the class.

Are there may kids in the class that often don't get enough stickers?
This is the first time she's done something like this! There have been general rewards, like sometimes my DS comes home with stickers if he's been especially well-behaved. I know she has him do laps at recess if he's been more difficult some days, but he still gets a chance to play with friends.

I really don't know what they'll do if they're banned. I hope they stay inside rather than watch other kids. I also hate to see kids singled out as "bad." If they'd framed the egg hunt this way from the start -- as a fun reward or something to aim for -- then I'd be more OK with it, but the way they've built it up and made it seem like a family event, it's just surprising to me.



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2018, 17:00 PM   5
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I wouldn’t be happy at all about it!! I don’t think you’re that parent. The whole sticker thing in 2 days and it being sprung on the kids I think sounds really unfair. Are you friendly with other parents? Do you know how they feel about it?

How are the kids that potentially may not earn enough stickers to take part going to be dealt with?! Them and their parents have to sit and watch?!! It doesn’t seem thought through at all to me. It should be kept as a fun family event!
Most of the parents I know well enough to chat with have kids in other pre-K classrooms or other grades (we don't have a lot of family-oriented events, unfortunately). I'm too shy to reach out to them by email, but I wonder if anybody else has spoken up? It really does seem weird.



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2018, 17:59 PM   6
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If there is more than one class involved maybe it was a different teachers idea? Maybe she isn't really planning not to give anyone less stickers than they need, maybe she is just trying to motivate them? It one of those situations that's hard if you don't really agree with their approach but at the same time you don't want to make a huge deal out of it.



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2018, 18:11 PM   7
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If there is more than one class involved maybe it was a different teachers idea? Maybe she isn't really planning not to give anyone less stickers than they need, maybe she is just trying to motivate them? It one of those situations that's hard if you don't really agree with their approach but at the same time you don't want to make a huge deal out of it.
It could be! I'm not sure whose idea it was.

Well today my son only earned two. I talked to him about which areas he struggled with (nap time and meal times) and we discussed strategies for working on those , but now he has to earn four tomorrow, so I'm feeling a bit like it's not happening.

It's exactly that type of situation, a little annoying but not major enough to bring up and risk creating a bad relationship with the teacher.



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2018, 18:13 PM   8
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Very annoying I would say, but still a question if it's worth making a fuss over.



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2018, 19:16 PM   9
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I go back and forth on whether or not to say anything! I'd like to write a friendly note to her about it but since I'm annoyed, I worry that would leak through and I'd be passive-aggressive.

I wish they'd done something like saying kids who get more stickers get a little head-start/bonus egg or something, rather than just shutting kids out.



 
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Old Mar 28th, 2018, 20:29 PM   10
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I would not be happy. I think it's fine to limit an activity for exceptional behavior, but not totally exclude a child from participating at all, especially at the PreK age. I work in a 3rd grade classroom and we had an egg hunt today and several kids had to sit out the first 5 minutes due to behavior. And their behavior was not a one off thing. It was a couple warnings before egg hunt time was deducted. I think that was fair.

If this was the way they were going to do it, it should have been mentioned up front, not a couple days before. Also, yes, kids are crazy right now! We are out for spring break next week, thank goodness. LOL But it really breaks my heart to hear that little kiddos might not get to hunt eggs at all. Pre K kids are still learning school rules and such, and while I get that behavior equals consequences, I think, in this case, the punishment is too severe. Just my opinion.

Have you spoken to your son's teacher about what keeps them from earning a sticker? Is it hitting? Is it talking? Is it squirming during nap? I'm just curious what kind of behaviors are keeping a child from participating in this.



 
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