We're taking our little girl on her first visit to her grandma and grandad in the West Country at the end-of-May Bank Holiday (she'll be 14 months, and possibly starting to walk), and I'm in total fear! There are going to be physical challenges, as Grandma and Grandad's house hasn't been modernised since the Second World War: the bath is in the kitchen, with a lid over it that usually serves as a kitchen worktop; everyone washes in the kitchen sink; the toilet is outside in the scullery/shed, and there is no heating other than a wood-burning stove in the front room, which is too tiny to set even a travel-cot sized baby cage up in; also it has narrow, steep stairs and LO has been raised in a bungalow! However, what I'm more worried about are the psychological challenges, as M-i-L is very buttoned-up, to the extent that she can't bring herself to pronounce the word 'pregnant' even when talking to me with no men in the room (she skidded to a halt and came up with 'expecting'), and terribly conventional - she brought up her two formula feeding, sleep training, spoon feeding at 3 months, put them in the pram at the bottom of the garden, because that was what you did in those days, while we are very freeform-parenting, Baby-Led Weaning and still breastfeeding. I know the BLW in particular weirds her out, and she is totally taken aback when DH recounts to her on the phone the things that Rowan's just had for tea, frequently things she won't eat herself, like couscous with roasted peppers or curry with pilau rice. How have other people found they've got on with disconnected M-i-Ls? It's not that she isn't nice, just that she's of such a different generation, I don't know how to connect, and I don't want to make her feel that we're judging her own baby-rearing methods and finding them wanting, but nor do I want her to judge ours!
Haha good luck sounds like a very old house! think of it as an adventure for your LO!
As for the MIL I also feel very "disconnected" with mine, she raised her kids very differently and has never directly said anything positive or negative about my parenting methods apart from "you're feeding her AGAIN?! She can't be hungry?!" when she was little and breastfeeding, but I was pleasently suprised on LO's first birthday when my MIL came up to me holding Violet and proudly said "she wants real milk, she did the sign for it" so you never know your MIL may well be impressed with the way you do things and you have the opportunity to show her firsthand how lovely your little one is and how well your methods work
good luck and enjoy the visit! xxx
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