First impression: Bad parent! - Page 6

aob1013 · Jun 5th, 2010, 11:39 AM

Before i was pregnant i was VERY judgemental. I mean VERY.

But now i've come down to earth and realised that none of us are perfect, and we all do things differently xx

lepaskilf · Jun 5th, 2010, 14:04 PM

smacking/tapping/beating/hitting - pain is being inflicted on a child!

There are studies that children who are smacked grow up to think that this is the best way to resolve issues, because they don't know any different. It has been researched that they grow up more violent than those who have not been smacked.

The same with swearing/shouting.. I work in an outdoor education residential centre, we get many different schools in each week and the noisiest/roudiest kids that have trouble listening usually come from the schools where there are teachers who are generally aggressive with words, like to shout and who resolve issues and try to quieten the kids down by shouting louder than them - this reflects through the kids, who turn out loud and obnoxious.

sabby52 · Jun 5th, 2010, 14:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lepaskilf

smacking/tapping/beating/hitting - pain is being inflicted on a child!

There are studies that children who are smacked grow up to think that this is the best way to resolve issues, because they don't know any different. It has been researched that they grow up more violent than those who have not been smacked.

The same with swearing/shouting.. I work in an outdoor education residential centre, we get many different schools in each week and the noisiest/roudiest kids that have trouble listening usually come from the schools where there are teachers who are generally aggressive with words, like to shout and who resolve issues and try to quieten the kids down by shouting louder than them - this reflects through the kids, who turn out loud and obnoxious.

I am sorry I have to do this but would you give my head peace !!!!!

My son is 12 and has been smacked/tapped when needed and he is the most pleasent little boy you would ever meet, he is top of his class and in the top 3 in his year.

Yes there may be some kids that are hit/smacked/thumped and shouted at every day of their lives and will turn out to be in your words "Loud and Obnoxious" but that is completely different to giving you child a little tap when needed.

Aidan's Mummy · Jun 5th, 2010, 14:23 PM

Double post
xx

Aidan's Mummy · Jun 5th, 2010, 14:26 PM

Quote:

There are studies that children who are smacked grow up to think that this is the best way to resolve issues, because they don't know any different. It has been researched that they grow up more violent than those who have not been smacked.

research says alot of thing I was smacked as a child and I do not use violence to resolve conflict nor do I smack aidan

BUT sabby shouldn't be made to feel she is harming her child emotinally or phsyically because from my experiance with children I have worked with it is not true. There is also a huge differance between a tap on the hand or whatever to a smack
xx

lepaskilf · Jun 5th, 2010, 14:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sabby52

I am sorry I have to do this but would you give my head peace !!!!!

My son is 12 and has been smacked/tapped when needed and he is the most pleasent little boy you would ever meet, he is top of his class and in the top 3 in his year.

Yes there may be some kids that are hit/smacked/thumped and shouted at every day of their lives and will turn out to be in your words "Loud and Obnoxious" but that is completely different to giving you child a little tap when needed.

I'm not having a go at you, or singling you out, and I'm sure you are a fab mother but this whole thread was asking for our own opinion on what we see on the street involving parents and their children.

Let just leave it here, we have both said our peace.

indy and lara · Jun 5th, 2010, 14:51 PM

We wash Emma every morning but an hour later she is always grubby! After every meal I clean her up but she is never immaculate! How can she be when she spends her life rolling around? She is in the bath every night so it is not that we don't wash her!

It is important that basic hygiene standards are met but I don't believe that it is the end of the world if she has a bit of biscuit in her hair or a mud mark on her trousers. I certainly dont want her to grow up to be a child who hates getting her hands dirty- We want her to get stuck in! We don't want Emma to pick up the message that she has got to be pristine all the time!

lepaskilf · Jun 5th, 2010, 14:54 PM

[QUOTE=Aidan's Mummy;5649758]

Quote:

BUT sabby shouldn't be made to feel she is harming her child emotinally or phsyically because from my experiance with children I have worked with it is not true. There is also a huge differance between a tap on the hand or whatever to a smack
xx

I'd hope that Sabby was a strong enough mother/person to not think that she is harming her children just from reading an opinion from someone who has never met her and know nothing about her or her children!!

There was a change from smack to tap halfway through the thread too!

sabby52 · Jun 5th, 2010, 15:07 PM

[QUOTE=lepaskilf;5650041]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aidan's Mummy

Quote:

BUT sabby shouldn't be made to feel she is harming her child emotinally or phsyically because from my experiance with children I have worked with it is not true. There is also a huge differance between a tap on the hand or whatever to a smack
xx

I'd hope that Sabby was a strong enough mother/person to not think that she is harming her children just from reading an opinion from someone who has never met her and know nothing about her or her children!!

There was a change from smack to tap halfway through the thread too!

To me a smack is a tap anything other and its not a smack !!!! When I say I smack my children it means I smack/tap them, I dont see a difference do you ???

I was also informed on my fb today that there was a study done last week about smacking children and the new evidence showed that children that are smacked grow up to more happier more successful adults. It also shows that children up to the age of 6 where more likely to perform better at school as teenagers and are more likely to go on to universty than their peers that where never physically disciplined !!!!!!! So much for research huh ???

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/sma...-1225816065473

now we have both had our say, we both have "RESEARCH" to back out fight so lets just toddle on and forget it. I will continue to smack my children if they need it and you will continue not to. Goodnight x

mandy81 · Jun 5th, 2010, 15:11 PM

OMG I can't believe some people, yes we all have our own opinion, yes we all parent our children different, but some people try to get their opinon over a little to much

I for one know that sabby is a brillant mother and would never ever do anything to hurt or harm her children, slapping/ tapping a child will not do them any harm in my opnion, I was tapped growing up and i'm by no way loud or obnoxious, my children get a tap when they need it and thats the way it will stay,

But like I said before that is just MY opinion.

Jun 5th, 2010, 11:39 AM	#51
aob1013 Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: UK Posts: 10,675	Before i was pregnant i was VERY judgemental. I mean VERY. But now i've come down to earth and realised that none of us are perfect, and we all do things differently xx

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Jun 5th, 2010, 14:04 PM	#52
lepaskilf Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: I live in North Wales Posts: 3,282	smacking/tapping/beating/hitting - pain is being inflicted on a child! There are studies that children who are smacked grow up to think that this is the best way to resolve issues, because they don't know any different. It has been researched that they grow up more violent than those who have not been smacked. The same with swearing/shouting.. I work in an outdoor education residential centre, we get many different schools in each week and the noisiest/roudiest kids that have trouble listening usually come from the schools where there are teachers who are generally aggressive with words, like to shout and who resolve issues and try to quieten the kids down by shouting louder than them - this reflects through the kids, who turn out loud and obnoxious.

Status: Offline

Jun 5th, 2010, 14:23 PM	#54
Aidan's Mummy Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Hull Posts: 12,258	Double post xx

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Jun 5th, 2010, 14:51 PM	#57
indy and lara Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 4,230	We wash Emma every morning but an hour later she is always grubby! After every meal I clean her up but she is never immaculate! How can she be when she spends her life rolling around? She is in the bath every night so it is not that we don't wash her! It is important that basic hygiene standards are met but I don't believe that it is the end of the world if she has a bit of biscuit in her hair or a mud mark on her trousers. I certainly dont want her to grow up to be a child who hates getting her hands dirty- We want her to get stuck in! We don't want Emma to pick up the message that she has got to be pristine all the time!

Status: Offline

Jun 5th, 2010, 15:11 PM	#60
mandy81 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: UK Posts: 8,424	OMG I can't believe some people, yes we all have our own opinion, yes we all parent our children different, but some people try to get their opinon over a little to much I for one know that sabby is a brillant mother and would never ever do anything to hurt or harm her children, slapping/ tapping a child will not do them any harm in my opnion, I was tapped growing up and i'm by no way loud or obnoxious, my children get a tap when they need it and thats the way it will stay, But like I said before that is just MY opinion.

Status: Offline

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