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Old Apr 14th, 2011, 11:22 AM   1
porkypig
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21 months old and having temper tantrums-what can I do?


The last few weeks or so ive noticed this has become more of a problem; if he doent get his own way he'll start crying, makes this high pitched growling noise, thrashing his head back and i dont know what to do. Its becoming a bit embarrassing too; at swimming yesterday they were giving floats and when we had to give them back there was another episode. The other kids just gave theirs back but no, my lo screaming, thrashing etc. Am I doing something wrong? Im always telling him off and try to be strict with discipline but its clearly not working. xx



 
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Old Apr 14th, 2011, 13:14 PM   2
Hotbump
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i have no idea hun my LO is exactly the same! I think he was born into his terrible twos. i will be keeping an eye on this thread.



 
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Old Apr 14th, 2011, 13:32 PM   3
hardworknmama
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When it comes to tantrums I have found the best thing to do was to make sure they were in a safe place and then ignore them. If a tantrum is started while out in public I remove him from the situation. Using the tantrum at the swimming pool for an example, I would have given the floats back, taken him out of the pool and then sat on the side lines until he calmed down. If he gave no indication of calming down, we would leave. I have picked up my son and walked out of a restaurant while he was screaming. You will get looks but I just plaster a smile on my face and keep walking. He will learn that throwing a tantrum won't get him what he wants and eventually the tantrums will stop. Hopefully this stage won't last long for you!



 
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Old Apr 15th, 2011, 03:09 AM   4
porkypig
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yes ive started to do this actually, just ignore him or just look at him and smile or have a neutral expression on my face while he's having a tantrum. i wonder why he's like this? x



 
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Old Apr 15th, 2011, 03:40 AM   5
smelly07
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Its totally normal behaviour, they dont understand why they have to give something back etc its frustrating for them.

i agree with hardworknmama.

My LO did this at tumble tots, they were given things to play with then they were taken away, she didnt want to give her toy back and didnt understand why. She got really upset, screamed threw her head back etc

i just explain why i.e tidy up time now, put them back myself and ignore her. What ever you do dont give in, once they realise throwing a tantrum works i.e they get what they want they will keep on doing it x



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Old Apr 15th, 2011, 04:28 AM   6
freckleonear
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Being a toddler must be incredibly frustrating. It seems like your whole life is full of "no" and things you can't do, and you don't have the words to express how you're feeling. Learning some sign language for emotions like sad, happy, angry, etc. can be helpful for younger toddlers.

This is how I deal with situations (it's easier to catch it early before it turns into a full-blown tantrum). First of all I acknowledge their feelings, e.g. "You were having lots of fun and I can see that you're sad about stopping". Then I remind them what they need to do and why. Then I offer help, e.g. "Can you stop playing by yourself or do you need my help?". Finally I try to distract them by turning whatever we need to do next into a fun game, using things like chasing, tickling or jumping.

Another technique I use at home is the calm down corner. This is "time in" rather than time out. I tell them that they need to calm down and they can either go to the calm down corner with me or on their own. There we cuddle up with blankets, soft toys, music, read books or do some scribbling. Once they have calmed down we go back to whatever we were doing before.



 
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Old Apr 15th, 2011, 04:31 AM   7
porkypig
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thanks for all your tips, i will be trying some of these xx



 
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Old Apr 15th, 2011, 07:08 AM   8
Mum2b_Claire
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I totally agree with Freckle about it being easier to stop this kind of thing before it really develops!

With Ruby I use something that I picked up from gymboree classes - when we have to stop something we're doing, or put something away, I sing a little song about what's happening, e.g 'crayons away, crayons away, it's time to put the crayons away'.

Ruby actually anticipates this with certain things now and sings 'dummies away' when I get her up from her nap.



 
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Old Apr 15th, 2011, 07:16 AM   9
porkypig
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mum2b_Claire View Post
I totally agree with Freckle about it being easier to stop this kind of thing before it really develops!

With Ruby I use something that I picked up from gymboree classes - when we have to stop something we're doing, or put something away, I sing a little song about what's happening, e.g 'crayons away, crayons away, it's time to put the crayons away'.

Ruby actually anticipates this with certain things now and sings 'dummies away' when I get her up from her nap.
thats a good idea! Ill probably end up getting on his nerves and he might just stop as he might think "every time i start screaming,she's going to sing again"! xx



 
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Old Apr 30th, 2011, 16:47 PM   10
parent_help
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hi, Temper Tantrum are indeed natural and part of the development of toddlers who aspire to independence. In addition they are also very frustrated that we can not understand them. It's really very difficult, for us and for them!
I realized that we should ask them earlier about what they would want to b happen. For example: "You want to drink water?, do you want a cup?, which one?..." That's how we also teach them to explain themselves and reduces the chance tantrum will appear as a result of misunderstanding.

GOOD LUCK!



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