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Old May 6th, 2011, 03:36 AM   1
chubbin
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unsociable toddler, normal?


Please forgive my shocking naivety, I have no experience with toddlers (except my own budding one!)

Background factors:
* LO has a horrible cold and is sleeping badly at the mo
* LO sees other babies 3 times a week at playgroups, coffee mornings etc with me.
* LO has just started walking in the past week (ive read this can bring on seperation anxiety).

So...we went to a friends house yesterday with 4 other LO's around the same age present. My LO was very clingy and antisocial. If a toy was taken from him, or a loud noise was made by another baby, or another baby touched him; he started crying and looking for me for a cuddle.
For most of the 2 hours we were there, my LO sort of played on his own in another part of the room whilst the other LO's sat closely to each other. At times he played closely with the others, but him wanting to be on his own was quite obvious. It reminded me of the Sesame street song 'One of these kids is doing his own thing'
Does this kind of thing ever happen with your Lo's? Am I being neurotic, and could I do anything to help him feel more relaxed?
Thanks in advance



 
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Old May 6th, 2011, 03:48 AM   2
Lightworker
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Hmm yeah occasionally. Toddlers are just like adults really and we all have our off days where we can't be bothered to socialize. Depending on temperament, some have more than others. My DD1 is a very vibrant, outgoing girl but she does have off days, moreso if she is ill. If your toddler doesn't want to socialize, its alright don't worry too much. You have identified reasons and Im sure it won't last too long. X



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Old May 6th, 2011, 03:51 AM   3
chubbin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by huggermomof2 View Post
Hmm yeah occasionally. Toddlers are just like adults really and we all have our off days where we can't be bothered to socialize. Depending on temperament, some have more than others. My DD1 is a very vibrant, outgoing girl but she does have off days, moreso if she is ill. If your toddler doesn't want to socialize, its alright don't worry too much. You have identified reasons and Im sure it won't last too long. X
Thanks, I think youre right. Usually he is smiley around other Lo's, and tries to engage them, so maybe it was the start contrast in his behaviour that has made me worry. I think actually I feel sorry for him, poor little mite. Its horrible to see him out of sorts Im being really soppy arent I xx



 
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Old May 6th, 2011, 03:51 AM   4
sophxx
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i dont know if its normal but i hav one if were anywhere and i put he down he screams and shouts mama till i pick him up he wont be held by anyone other than me oh his nanna and one of his uncles . after a while he calms down but doesnt rally play at hom hes really confident so im not to worried about it x



 
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Old May 6th, 2011, 03:52 AM   5
lollylou1
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It's very normal for children that age to play by themselves interacting can take a long time to establish! I wouldn't worry as if it was out of character crying at noises and stuff then maybe just not feeling themselves!
Lou
Xxx



 
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Old May 6th, 2011, 03:54 AM   6
chubbin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sophxx View Post
i dont know if its normal but i hav one if were anywhere and i put he down he screams and shouts mama till i pick him up he wont be held by anyone other than me oh his nanna and one of his uncles . after a while he calms down but doesnt rally play at hom hes really confident so im not to worried about it x
Yes we've been through phases like this too. Like Huggermomof2 said, I think it comes and goes in waves, that's what Ive found anyway. Like you say, its probably nothing for us to be worried about anyway



 
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Old May 6th, 2011, 03:55 AM   7
chubbin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lollylou1 View Post
It's very normal for children that age to play by themselves interacting can take a long time to establish! I wouldn't worry as if it was out of character crying at noises and stuff then maybe just not feeling themselves!
Lou
Xxx
I was hoping someone would say this. I really have no idea and I think I need to get some sort of 'what to expect' book about toddlers. Thanks for the reassurance



 
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Old May 6th, 2011, 04:03 AM   8
OmarsMum
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Sounds normal hun. We also go to toddlers groups & Omar sees my cousins once every week this is in addtion to going to play areas several times a week. He's social in general. We visited some friends last Saturday, once we went in he almost cried, then he sat next to me hiding his head. There were 3 toddlers, a baby & a 10 yrs old girl. He played alone or close to me most of the time & he refused to play with the other kids. He was also so sensitive, clingy & cried several times. When they all left & there was only one toddler (a 23 months girl), he played with her & they went on running around and sharing toys. It was the 1st time we visit them, I think when we visit them next time it would be easier. xx



 
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Old May 6th, 2011, 04:15 AM   9
chubbin
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Originally Posted by OmarsMum View Post
Sounds normal hun. We also go to toddlers groups & Omar sees my cousins once every week this is in addtion to going to play areas several times a week. He's social in general. We visited some friends last Saturday, once we went in he almost cried, then he sat next to me hiding his head. There were 3 toddlers, a baby & a 10 yrs old girl. He played alone or close to me most of the time & he refused to play with the other kids. He was also so sensitive, clingy & cried several times. When they all left & there was only one toddler (a 23 months girl), he played with her & they went on running around and sharing toys. It was the 1st time we visit them, I think when we visit them next time it would be easier. xx
Ah, that's a relief, thanks so much - sounds like it is perfectly run of the mill toddler behaviour then.
That's an interesting thought, about it being 'better' when you go again. I wonder if it will be the same when we go to the other mums house again...time will tell I guess.
Thanks again



 
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Old May 6th, 2011, 04:19 AM   10
sparkle_bump
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My lo goes to nursery every week so is used to children, but when I pick him up I often find him playing on his own. I don't find it worrying because children don't feel the need to interact with others the way adults can do out of 'politeness' because they are there.

If a child wants to play with others he/she will, if not then they won't. I wouldn't worry



 
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