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Old Feb 1st, 2012, 03:31 AM   1
LankyDoodle
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Quite concerned... does she have a behaviour problem or is this a typical 21mth old?!


My LO has always been fairly 'boistrous' and a bit of a dare devil, scaling large bits of furniture to get to what she wants. I've never considered her to be a delicate, fragile girl, and have always been proud to have allowed her to develop in her own way. She hit physical milestones on time or early, and is talking some... although not as well as some others (but then again, better than some too...). I look after a 25 month old and have had her since she was 20 months - she has ALWAYS had fairly good speech but does have an older sibling; still, it is hard not to compare and in comparison on the physical stuff, my LO is much further advanced, so I guess it's just horses for courses.

Anyway, I am worried about her behaviour! She is a very happy child, always up to some kind of mischief - that's her personality, but she doesn't seem to understand the word 'no' and just laughs and carries on or ignores you! Typical of her age maybe but, the 25 month old has always adhered when you tell her 'no'! The other issue is her hitting - she's been through the stage where she was a bit rough with the cats, and we dealt with that by just firmly telling her 'no' and showing her how to stroke them. However, recently this has started again and while she's doing it she will giggle hysterically and pull at their skin/fur and smack them, so I've had to keep them separated as no amount of showing her to be nice, is working at the moment. Then I noticed a couple of weeks ago, that she was hitting the 25 month old and looking at me and laughing while she was doing it - I put her on time out after dealing with it, but she just doesn't understand time out at the moment, and it doesn't deal with the actual issue of her hitting. Today when the 25 month old arrived, she started smacking her on the arm (whilst 25 month old's mum was stood at the door saying bye) and then once we got indoors, she was again hitting her on the arm and then pulled her hair really hard and wouldn't let go!!

So I just don't know how to deal with this. I have an idea that she picked it up from said 25 month old and their older sibling, as they are very rough with each other and 25 month old will hit if she's in a mush about something or if she is frustrated. She only goes to nursery one day a week and I doubt she picked it up there as she's in a room where all the others are younger that her (only spends outdoor time with the older ones).

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't happen all the time... not even daily; however, I am worried because she could get a reputation as being a bully, and will go to preschool this year. She is 2 in 3 months' time and I am so worried she is NEVER going to understand 'no' or why we don't hit or that you don't continue to do something when told to stop. I know she's still little but I suppose I'm comparing her to the 25 month old.

I have worked with children for 12 years, in many settings, some very challenging, but when it comes to my own daughter I am stumped as to how to deal with it!!!



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Old Feb 1st, 2012, 03:46 AM   2
LankyDoodle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LankyDoodle View Post
My LO has always been fairly 'boistrous' and a bit of a dare devil, scaling large bits of furniture to get to what she wants. I've never considered her to be a delicate, fragile girl, and have always been proud to have allowed her to develop in her own way. She hit physical milestones on time or early, and is talking some... although not as well as some others (but then again, better than some too...). I look after a 25 month old and have had her since she was 20 months - she has ALWAYS had fairly good speech but does have an older sibling; still, it is hard not to compare and in comparison on the physical stuff, my LO is much further advanced, so I guess it's just horses for courses.

Anyway, I am worried about her behaviour! She is a very happy child, always up to some kind of mischief - that's her personality, but she doesn't seem to understand the word 'no' and just laughs and carries on or ignores you! Typical of her age maybe but, the 25 month old has always adhered when you tell her 'no'! The other issue is her hitting - she's been through the stage where she was a bit rough with the cats, and we dealt with that by just firmly telling her 'no' and showing her how to stroke them. However, recently this has started again and while she's doing it she will giggle hysterically and pull at their skin/fur and smack them, so I've had to keep them separated as no amount of showing her to be nice, is working at the moment. Then I noticed a couple of weeks ago, that she was hitting the 25 month old and looking at me and laughing while she was doing it - I put her on time out after dealing with it, but she just doesn't understand time out at the moment, and it doesn't deal with the actual issue of her hitting. Today when the 25 month old arrived, she started smacking her on the arm (whilst 25 month old's mum was stood at the door saying bye) and then once we got indoors, she was again hitting her on the arm and then pulled her hair really hard and wouldn't let go!!

So I just don't know how to deal with this. I have an idea that she picked it up from said 25 month old and their older sibling, as they are very rough with each other and 25 month old will hit if she's in a mush about something or if she is frustrated. She only goes to nursery one day a week and I doubt she picked it up there as she's in a room where all the others are younger that her (only spends outdoor time with the older ones).

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't happen all the time... not even daily; however, I am worried because she could get a reputation as being a bully, and will go to preschool this year. She is 2 in 3 months' time and I am so worried she is NEVER going to understand 'no' or why we don't hit or that you don't continue to do something when told to stop. I know she's still little but I suppose I'm comparing her to the 25 month old.

I have worked with children for 12 years, in many settings, some very challenging, but when it comes to my own daughter I am stumped as to how to deal with it!!!
I have been reading about other toddlers this age, who do similar, but coupled with things like throwing toys at people/other chn/walls etc. She doesn't do any of that. She is a constant figit and never sits still, but she is becoming more and more interested in books (not so interested she will sit through you reading the whole thing to her, though), has a better attention span than she used to, is cuddly and empathetic (will run and cuddle her peers if they are sad). I just really don't know why she's doing this.



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Old Feb 1st, 2012, 06:19 AM   3
Stardreamer
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My daughter turned 2 in decemeber and is exactly the same (my brother says she is bulletproof).

If she falls she gets up, laughs and makes herself fall again. She does understand what "no" means just chooses to ignore me to be honest so when I have to take something awa from her or put her on the naughty step she pitches a fit and refuses to say sorry.

She always reaches her milestones a little earlier than expected and everyone keeps commenting on how amazing her speech is for her age (she is very clear and can always tell you what she wants (since start of my 3rd tri with this preg she asks me "are you alright mummy?" or "mummy not feel well" every time in get a twinge or pain lol)

My neice comes to visit on the weekends, who is 13 month older than my dd, and the only difference between them is their personalility. I find because Chloe is more willful that she tends to march to the beat of her own drum where as my neice is really timid and will do what you tell her.



 
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Old Feb 1st, 2012, 06:23 AM   4
Pink Flowers
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Oliver is the same, NO means nothing to him, he climbs up everything, throws everything.

I asked my HV and they said it was normal for his age...



 
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Old Feb 1st, 2012, 06:57 AM   5
eddjanuary10
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I think her behaviour sounds normal.

My son pushes his younger cousin sometimes, he knows full well its wrong and looks like a little evil bully at times as he giggles as he does it. He is told off and we explain repeatedly why its wrong but he still does it. Thankfully he doesn't do it as much now and when he does do it he is often saying 'go!' trying to push her in the direction he wants her to go in which makes me feel better as he just wants her to go and play and he is not actually trying to hurt her. (we still tell him its not nice to push of course!) There are times when he pushes her when she has a toy he wants though, trying to teach 'share' is VERY challenging! This is totally normal.

When you say the 25month old responds to 'no' better, my first thought was that most kids will be better behaved when its not their parents telling them off!



 
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