How do you discipline your 14 month old? He knows 'No' yet he blatantly defies me when it comes to the DVD cabinet. I say no and he just looks at me with this look that says 'stuff you' and pulls them out without breaking eye contact. Little beggar. I dont know what to do he just laughs when I tell him off. Iv started smacking him on the hand which I really didnt want to do, but I can't explain consequences to him at this age. Even that doesnt seem to be working as he still goes there. Is it too early to discipline?
My 14month old is just the same, she charges down the sofa (cruising) towards her Dad's laptop, digital camera, chargers, cables etc. looking back at me the whole time with a massive grin on her face.
It is hard not to think they are being deliberatley naughty but I realised that I give her so much attention when she does this (talk to her - I dont think she knows what a stern voice means) and then play with her to keep her away from it. Thing is when she is happily playing with her toys OF COURSE I'm going to want to take the opportunity to fold some clothes/get a drink/make a phone call etc. but I can see from her point of view she is being ignored then but getting a big game with Mummy when she does the 'naughty' things.
So I am trying very hard to take her away from the 'naughty' stuff without making eye contact, without talking etc. and to make sure that I play enough fun games with her when she is being 'good'. It isnt really working but till she understands more I dont see the point in much else.
Re: the hand smacking. I was really mortified with myself for resorting to this at night when LO wouldn't sleep cos she kept scratching her eczema and making herself cry. I just thought "for goodness sake you'd be able to sleep if you stopped scratching!" and smacked her hands - thing is I was doing it out of anger and desperation, I hadn't made a choice where I thought it was a valid disciplin technique and that is the important thing. Whatever you decide to do you have to be doing it calmly without letting your emotions take over and with a rationale in mind as to why and how you think it will work.
LoL! You both are talking about my son! He loves to climb on things he shouldn't (i.e., sofa, end tables, coffee tables) and play with things he shouldn't (expensive electronics, meddling in the dishwasher, etc.) and it is just attention seeking. He thinks it's funny and all teh while I'm telling him no, he goes ahead and does it anyway. I take him down of the tables and he'll throw a 10 second fit but I kind of push him away and tell him to find something else to do. Redirection works well especially if you are redirecting to an interactive activity like stacking blocks with LO for example. As a last resort, we'll do time out in the corner and I'll hold him there for about 30-45 seconds. He hates it! This was on the advice of our pediatrician (practices alternative medicine) at his 12-month checkup. She actually told us to hold him tightly in our lap for about 30 seconds. It works okay for us but you really have to be consistent with it.
As far as the hand smacking, it doesn't feel right to me. There have been several occasions where I wanted to, but I just can't come to terms with the idea. I have swatted his hands away from something, like when he's pulling the sticker off the dishwasher, but not a hard hand smack.
Whatever you do, just be consistent with it and also have Dad get on board too so LO starts to see that her behavior is unacceptable not just in front of you IYKWIM.
I don't think smacking a 14 month old is right at all. It's natural curiosity. He may no you say NO to him when he goes to play with the DVD cabinet, but he doesn't understand why he can't.
My LO was the same. I would explain why she can't do something, she had a fascination with the tv unit too. She would just get upset when I moved her away from it. I've put a lock on the door now so she can't hurt it, herself or anything inside. I would distract her when she went to play with it. Now she doesn't pay any attention to it.
Thanks, I dont want to smack him either I just wasn't sure how to let him know theres a consequence. I like the idea of holding him tightly. He would HATE that but not sure if that would work either Im pretty sure he'll still do it. I like the Distraction idea I think he does it to get my attention too. Its so hard though isn't it, sometimes u just want to crash for 15 mins on the sofa or do some housework, I cant entertain him 24/7 much as he wants it! Thanks ladies x
Paige is the same... I have just moved back in with my mum, and have not yet bought stairgates (really need to!) Paige loves to climb up the stairs, and tries to open the living room door to get to them. Once it is open, she stands there and looks at me because she knows I will say no, and when I do, she pets her lip and starts to cry. It makes me feel terrible so I usually let her go up the stairs with me behind her (must get stairgates now!)
Anytime she tries to touch something dangerous, I say no and move her away. She sometimes has a mini 10 second tantrum but then forgets about it and tends not to go back to that thing, at least for a while anyway!
I remember that age and saying 'no' 100 times a day - it's all part of their development. They want to test boundaries. I would agree with the others about distraction. Also can you get your LO somehow involved in what you're doing? That way if you have housework he won't feel like you're ignoring him. i.e. let him take things out of the washing machine, give him a baby wipe to 'help' clean, give him a pan / pot and a wooden spoon and some dry cereals when you cook. Isla absolutely loved that and it meant I could get a few things done.
I completely agree with the distraction technique, my little ones drove me so crazy with getting after the TV unit that I placed a knit blanket over it so they couldn't see the flashing lights or buttons on anything...so far so good
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