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Old Mar 15th, 2012, 04:31 AM   1
Lazy Leo
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End of my rope - wanting milk during the night and general behaviour


Hi folks, not sure if I'm after advice, empathy or just a rant to be honest but I am at the end of my rope with my near 2 and a half year old.

She gets a cup of milk to take to bed with her, she has done this since she was about a year old, its a non-spill anyway up cup. And in many respects its what she needs to go to sleep. But now she seems to wakening up a lot and is looking for more milk. In itself its not a great hassle to go downstairs and fill it from the fridge but last night she was wakened at 11pm, 1am, 3am, and 5am looking for milk. She was up as in wakened and ready for the day at 6.45am.

I didn't give her milk at 1am or 3am, but did cave in at 3.30am. So she had
- 1 cup at 7pm (bedtime)
-1 cup at 11pm
- 1 cup at 3.30
- half cup at 5am

She is out of nappies at daytime - has been since before her 2nd birhtday, but 5 months on she is still wet at night - and no wonder with that much milk. We dont use nappes but night time pants and they can't cope with the volume. I wash more cot sheets, quilts and jammies now than I ever did when she was newborn or little - She was a great sleeper as a baby, (going through the night from about 8 weeks old) and apart from teething and illness has remained so. Since going into nursery for 2 afternoons per week about 8 weeks ago she has been constantly ill though and with it comes disrupted sleep.

She is becoming a handful as all toddlers do, she constantly wants mum's attention (I'm a sahm) and I can't have a conversation with anyone either on the phone, on skype, in person without total interuption. My husband works away on rotation for 3-4 weeks at a time then comes back home and so she she either has one of us or both of us all the time. I've just tried to speak to my husband via skype and spent the whole time giving her into trouble for touching keyboard buttons or pulling the cables on the computer - things she knows she isn't allowed to do. Then she just started kicking off about wanting to get dressed - she thinks if she gets dressed she'll get to go outside, somewhere anywhere lol!

Sometimes I can deal with it all fine. Its what I signed up for when I decided to a) be a mum and b) be a stay-at-home mum. However I've had a sickness bug over the weekend so was pretty ropey - sick every hour for a full 24 hours - whle looking after a toddler isn't fun -and into the mix I'm 16 weeks pregnant with number 2. I'm seriously wondering if I'll cope as I seem to be struggling to cope with her alone. We're also in the process of buying a new property and I'm dealing with the estate agent /lawyer / mortgage stuff all on my own now hubby is back away to work.

Like I said, I'm not sure what I'm after, but just someone to say they understand would go a long way i think



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2012, 04:37 AM   2
missbabypo
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No real advice as we never did that with Riley. He stopped having milk before bed when he was about 1 and a half.

How about not actually letting her take the cup to bed? Give it to her before bed instead. And when she wakes in the night give her water instead of milk, she will soon realise she wont get the milk. Its the way I got the biy to sleep through as babies. Might not work but worth a try



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2012, 05:10 AM   3
chubbin
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I understand
JJ, albeit a bit younger (21 months), is often up at various intervals through the night demanding milk. I have often been able to get away with just giving him water (he still has bottles, it drives me bonkers sometimes), but nonetheless we go through spells where he just wants to suck on his bottle all night long.
Am gearing up for a visit from the bottle fairy sometime quite soon...
JJ also finds it hard not to squawk like a parrott whenever I am talking, especially if I am holding him (so its right in my face). I say 'mummys talking' which silences him for about 5 seconds, then he's off again with the squawking.
I am also ill at the mo with a chest infection, which turns a demanding job (being a SAHM) into an extremely trying and exhausting one.
Hugs to us both xx



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2012, 12:28 PM   4
QTPie
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Hi

Sounds rough .

Personally I would get "firm" before you get much more pregnant and then have a newborn to deal with: a few nights of pain now traded against longer term improvement.

Choose a time when your DH is home and go cold turkey on the cup (which she is using as a prop to soothe herself back to sleep). If it was me, personally I would stay and comfort until asleep (and later on use Supernanny's "Sleep Seperation" technique, if required, to get out of it).

As for attention seeking, a mixture of "firmness"/distraction and making calls at other times (after she is asleep, nap time or similar).



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2012, 12:47 PM   5
sparkle_1979
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I'd just tell her all day tomorrow that as she's a big girl there is no more milk at bed time but as she's such a good girl you can choose a toy or something tomorrow for being so grown up. She will prob complain a LOT the first night but come night four or five will be so worth it...
xxx



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2012, 13:49 PM   6
polaris
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I would also get tough and just go cold turkey on the milk at night time. I guess the first few nights would be really hard but after that she will get used to it and stop waking up.

Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way - when is your due date? My due date is 21st August.



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2012, 14:29 PM   7
Lazy Leo
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Thanks for all the replies. You pretty much have confirmed what I was thinking myself. Today I took away all the cups and straw bottles and told her that she can no longer have cups with lids. In the car she had a sports cap bottle as obviously an open top cup is a no-go in that situation.

She wouldn't really drink milk tonight before bed, she doesn't quite understand yet and I'm sure that through the night will be tough for a few nights but it can't be any worse than last night which was just every 2 hours asking for milk. She'll get the hang of it in a couple of days.

I feel like I'm being a bit cruel taking all her lids away at one time, but I also know she can drink from an open cup, its just the lids give her comfort/security. I also think thats it would be more confusing for her to be allowed lids during the day but not at night all of a sudden, so that's it. I've taken them off and we'll see how she goes. I daresay she won't hate me for it by next week

thanks for the help and advice, it really was much appreciated
xx

PS - Polaris, I'm due the 27th August, so just a week behind you



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2012, 14:33 PM   8
polaris
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lazy Leo View Post
Thanks for all the replies. You pretty much have confirmed what I was thinking myself. Today I took away all the cups and straw bottles and told her that she can no longer have cups with lids. In the car she had a sports cap bottle as obviously an open top cup is a no-go in that situation.

She wouldn't really drink milk tonight before bed, she doesn't quite understand yet and I'm sure that through the night will be tough for a few nights but it can't be any worse than last night which was just every 2 hours asking for milk. She'll get the hang of it in a couple of days.

I feel like I'm being a bit cruel taking all her lids away at one time, but I also know she can drink from an open cup, its just the lids give her comfort/security. I also think thats it would be more confusing for her to be allowed lids during the day but not at night all of a sudden, so that's it. I've taken them off and we'll see how she goes. I daresay she won't hate me for it by next week

thanks for the help and advice, it really was much appreciated
xx

PS - Polaris, I'm due the 27th August, so just a week behind you
Good luck with it, I hope it goes well and she gets the hang of it quickly. I think you are right to just go for it, the main thing now is just to stick with it no matter how annoyed and angry she may get. Not easy in the middle of the night, but honestly it will be worth it! You don't need to be woken up every two hours especially when you are pregnant. I can't get enough sleep at the moment and my LO is a great sleeper so I just can't imagine how tired you must be.



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2012, 14:45 PM   9
Lazy Leo
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I think what has made this worse of late is that she has always been a great sleeper. Honestly from the day she was born she fed every 3 hours, then stretched to 5 hourly at 8 weeks (midnight - 5am, bliss) and it just got better and better with just a few interuptions for teething.

I think the problem really has started with her going to nursery 2 afternoons per week, picking up lots of bugs for the past 8 weeks, sniffing and coughing keeping her awake and disrupting the great sleep shedule she had. Into the bargain she wasn't eating great because she was ill and I was concerned that she was wakening hungry in the night and I didn't like to with-hold her milk for fear of that.

Now though I just think no, this has become a really bad habit, and I need to break it. And I will!!

I'm pretty tired with my pregnancy and running after her during the day too, so if I can get her settled back down again it would be great!!!



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2012, 15:22 PM   10
QTPie
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Am completely with Polaris - be firm and stick with it. Comfort her by being there fir her, but don't give in: she will adjust in just a few days and it will be better for all of you.

Good luck



 
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