Firstly, I know how hard it is, I think all of us on here do!
I agree with the others about delayed punishment not being effective, I don't think it has any benefit. When you say he throws toys, but more to see what will happen than out of badness, I think this is the case for many things toddlers do. They are exploring the world, and find many strange things fascinating. Maybe, instead of constantly telling him off, if he throws something take that thing off him and explain that we don't throw toys/books whatever, but then turn it around by saying we can throw e.g. a ball, a bean toy or something and play with him, teach him that throwing is ok, in the right environment with the right thing?
My other bit of advice would be to ask him when you take him off the step/spot what he's done. Earl has a habit at the moment of tipping his drink onto the floor, into his dinner, down himself, anywhere it's not supposed to be. He's clearly doing it to see what happens, but when you've just made him his dinner then half a carton of ribena goes all over it it's clearly not appropriate. We do the steps, put him down for 2 minutes when required and explain 'I am putting you here because......'. When I go and get him however I have started to ask him 'Why did I put you here?' and 9 times out of 10 he knows and will tell me, and then say sorry. I don't know whether I have imagined it, but it seems we do fewer 'repeats', particularly within that day, by doing this.
I also think that maybe taking away a toy isn't going to have any effect. Short term, maybe but he'll soon forget. I ask him to put it away if he can't play nicely, and then we change the subject completely. If he's actually enjoying the game, then he'll try not to repeat.
Ok my LO is only 20months old, but he is doing the same as your LO is doing but i wouldn't consider disciplining him. If he is throwing things then i just take the item away from him. You mention when your LO tries to reach the work surface you tell him off, when my LO does this i have no problem with it and i just move all the sharp objects out of the way, he also knows not to touch the pans on the hob because he knows that they are hot
I hope you don't mind me asking, I am genuinely curious, why are those behaviours you listed unacceptable to you?
My lo is 19 months so younger than yours, but does do things that I would rather he not do. Like throw his food or tip his drink on the floor. It's a pretty recent thing and how I have been dealing with it is getting him to help me clean it up and explain to give it to me when he is finished instead of throwing it. It does seem to be working however I think that with toddlers they seem to get an overwhelming urge to do something like throw stuff, or try and reach something forbidden and even the threat of a punishment isn't as strong as that urge.
As I say I know my lo is younger and we haven't reached the 'terrible 2s' yet but would you maybe consider just putting anything on the worktop out of reach or actually letting him sit on it to see what is going on? And maybe let him bite a toy or book, as long as he's not hurting himself or anyone else?
I just wonder if maybe letting these things go will take some of the mystery and allure away and he will just stop it in his own time?
I hope that came across as I mean it - genuinely trying to be helpful and offer suggestions
I actually agree with Jenkins - I set my toddler up on the counter while I am prepping food and he just loves it (out of reach of everything, with his drink and a small toy/snack)! Otherwise he would be grabbing at the counter top or whinging at my feet!
1) Buy him balls and soft teddies etc. he can throw. If he throws something he's not allowed give him a warning and then take it away for half an hour. He's too young to understand that he's missing out on things later in the day because of naughtiness early on.
2) Give him things he's allowed to bite and chew. He might have sore teeth. Or he might just want to explore what it feels like with his mouth.
3) Toddler proof the units, keep them clean with no knifes, food etc. When he is reaching up lift him up to show him what's there. I bet he'll soon lose interest. If he can't see but knows there is stuff up there and he can reach of course his curiosity is going to get the better of him and he'll try - it's only natural! Or keep him out of the kitchen altogether if it's not safe xx
Those behaviours wouldn't be naughty in my book and I wouldn't punish for them. If Aisling reaches up to the counter, I move sharp things where she can't reach and ask if she wants to stand on a chair to watch. I don't mind if she throws her toys really unless it's not at someone or things aren't going to get damaged. She hasn't ever had a reaction from me doing that and got over the phase pretty quickly. If she throws her toys in the car seat or something, I'll pick them up once or twice and then warn her if she throws them again, they'll stay on the floor until the end of the journey. So not punishment but natural consequences. With biting things, I really think it's just about them exploring and how things feel in their mouths. I'd gently explain that it's not nice because it damages/hurts the item and if she does it again I'll have to take it away but that's it.
With toddlers, I really do think you have to pick your battles and for me, these aren't battles and certainly not ones worth fighting
I agree with you. I do the same thing every day. Of course you know it's normal behavior! DUH! When its's done over and over again, intentionally, to get attention, it's unacceptable. Rocco is doing the same sorts of things. He may pick something up he's not supposed to be touching, let's say a pen. When I tell him not to touch it and to hand it to me, he throws it at me. Or when he's eating dinner, he will take a sip of milk and spit it onto the table. I think you're doing the right thing in disciplining immediately with a naughty step. We use a little stool as a naughty seat.
My DS is younger than yours but he acts up a lot too. He's aggresive though. He gets over excited or bored & he smacks, bites, throws things, etc. When he's doing these things he normally won't listen when I tell him no, he'll just smile at me. He knows its wrong so I warn him and then 98% of the time he ignores me & carries on so he'll be on the naughty mat for a minute. He's getting good at staying there, he doesn't sit down & he might walk around in circles but he cries & he knows he's done wrong. He can't say sorry yet so I just get a kiss & a cuddle. I think maybe you are expecting a bit too much for a young LO. They do understand a lot but I think sticking with one punishment is better than having a few to choose from. If my DS is naughty when we are out then I still use the naughty 'spot' unless we are by a road etc. I'll use it at a friends, family members and at the park. They say toddlers need consistency in their routine & think multiple disciplines may make him feel a little insecure. Xx
I have to say that at 2.5yo those behaviours are unacceptable in my house too
Throwing things leads to hurt people and damaged property; biting can lead to the child hurting their mouth, damaging the book or toy involved and ultimately who knows what else they will chose to bite; and pulling things from the top is just plain dangerous.
I think you do just have to keep repeating and going over things again and again. I've quite often tried to explain the reason for doing things with Georgia - we never have a problem with the car seat or seat belts because she always repeats to me 'we have to be safe in the car' and I point out that I have my seat belt on too. Just as an example of explaining 'why' we do things before they become a problem as she gets bigger.
I think some of the other girls are right in that the punishment has to be effective, right there and then. In our house (or anyone else house for that matter) my daughter is sent to the hall if she misbehaves. Usually the question, do you want to sit in the hall is enough for her to stop. Again if she does get sent out then when I bring her back I ask her why she had to sit in the hall to ensure she understands. 99/100 times she will know why.
In the kitchen I very much involve her. I'm on my own for weeks at a time with hubby's job and its an open plan kitchen/lounge/dine so to do anything else is pointless. She is allowed to stand on a chair if I am beside her and she can put veggies or pasta in a pot, butter bread/toast etc, if I cut cheese she puts it on her toast or sandwich. She puts porridge in the water and stirs it, she puts cereal in her bowl and I pour a little milk into a jug so that she can pour it without me having to clear up 4 pints of milk from the floor lol! She knows she is allowed to do certain things but certain things are just 'not for little girls' like knives or scissors or kettles. We just always reinforce and if she does something she shouldn't she is made to get down or go to the hall.
In the park, all I need to do is hold her by the hand - she hates being made to hold my hand, loves to wander freely as most kids do, and if she won't behave I just grab on to her. (she does accept that she has to hold my hand at roads lol, I don't just let her run off all the time!!)
Hope this helps, but hard though it is, it is normal and I believe (as a fellow mum of a 2.5yo, I HOPE!!!) it gets better
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