Why can't my daughter just sleep??

Jem88 · Apr 5th, 2012, 09:44 AM

Disclaimer: this is Jems partner using her account, with her consent.

I don't understand why we can't just let our 14 month old daughter sleep when shes tired, and be awake when she's awake. She's been up every hour or so every night for the past few weeks. Yet the missus is intent on waking her up after x amount of hours and whatnot during the day.

Like right now, she's had two naps today. Jem let her sleep for 30 mins this morning before waking her up. She was about to go and wake her up after 2 hours 40 mins sleep now. Why did she have to wake her up when she was tired this morning, and why does she want to wake her up now? Surely our sleep will be less disrupted if our daughter just slept when she was tired and was allowed to be wakeful when she was awake?

100 years ago, did women really wake up their babies at set times after specific intervals and work like this?

Confused OH here, really appreciative of the responses

ChuggaBump · Apr 5th, 2012, 10:08 AM

I have never had a set routine with my LO. I've always followed his lead and when he's tired I put him down for a nap and he sleeps for as long as he's tired. Gradually he has gone from 3 - 2 - 1 nap a day.

I can't be much help really because I don't understand the whole "getting in a routine" thing and sleeping at certain times for a certain length of time - I agree with you - if LO is tired he has a nap for as long as he needs.

Having said all that, I have had my fair share of issues with LO's sleeping (still do!) and I know that as a tired parent you will try ANYTHING to improve your LO's sleep and your own sleep and sanity. So I do understand why Jem is trying to limit your LO's sleep in the day. But from my experience, nothing works!!

Hope your sleep situation gets better!

Mrsmitch80 · Apr 5th, 2012, 10:23 AM

I know it doesn't work for every child but if I didn't wake my lo from her nap she would sleep all day and be awake all night! She's a bit older now so I'm less strict on her routine but I can't let her have longer than an hour after lunch or she will not go to bed!! I'm heavily pregnant and fell asleep with her on the couch the other day, she only had an extra half an hour but it took 2 hours longer to get her to go to
bed!!! I was not happy! Maybe this is what she's trying to prevent?

X

emzi · Apr 5th, 2012, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChuggaBump

I have never had a set routine with my LO. I've always followed his lead and when he's tired I put him down for a nap and he sleeps for as long as he's tired. Gradually he has gone from 3 - 2 - 1 nap a day.

I can't be much help really because I don't understand the whole "getting in a routine" thing and sleeping at certain times for a certain length of time - I agree with you - if LO is tired he has a nap for as long as he needs.

Having said all that, I have had my fair share of issues with LO's sleeping (still do!) and I know that as a tired parent you will try ANYTHING to improve your LO's sleep and your own sleep and sanity. So I do understand why Jem is trying to limit your LO's sleep in the day. But from my experience, nothing works!!

Hope your sleep situation gets better!

Pretty much agree with this. Also have issues with sleeping most weeks but do try and let Ruby sleep as long as she wants (not more than 2 hours in the day) Have tried leaving her and through trial and error any more than 2 hours in the day results in a shorter night sleep.
TBH If I can get an hour out of Ruby a day most days thats a massive achievement so sometimes I wish I was in your situation with nice long napper!!
Hope you get it sorted soon but I think you will find most people have some issue or another!

LaughOutLoud · Apr 5th, 2012, 10:47 AM

I tried all sorts with my LO re naps and bedtimes and OMG no matter what I did we just didnt have a routine as she was such a terrible sleeper - or rather lack of! Now at nearly 2 and half months we finally have a routine and thats also probably because I gave up on her naps a long time ago. She doesnt nap anymore (not like she ever did) but I dont have the battle to deal with and she is much more pleasant to be around because she just has to go to bed early. I think you should stand by what your OH is doing (not saying you arent) because she obviously is trying to figure out or stick to a routine. I wish my DH had been supportive when I was trying to deal with it all.

k4th · Apr 5th, 2012, 12:57 PM

We have a routine & if my dd has a nap in the morning I wake her after 10 mins!! How mean am I??! You'd hate me!

I then let her have up to 2.5 hours after lunch but no more because otherwise she's up in the night wanting to play. It did take time to establish the routine and sometimes it does feel a little unnatural - but for some lo's it really does work!

I think your oh is probably trying to prevent your lo getting days & nights mixed up. One possibility if you let your lo sleep lots in the day is very little sleep at night at all. Or a late afternoon nap meaning bedtime is as late as 9-10pm. I know some people have that & really enjoy evenings with their lo, but for me, I enjoy evenings with my hubby. She's probably working really hard at trying to get the sleep mix right for your lo so you can all enjoy a happy little girl. Some babies seem to fall naturally into wonderful sleep patterns and others (like mine) are little b*ggers!! A routine can help with those babies.

Hope that gives a bit of insight into why someone might choose a routine

ginab · Apr 5th, 2012, 14:45 PM

I can see what what jem is trying to do, she's limiting the amount she sleeps during the day so she sleeps longer and more soundly at night time. I think this works for some children but doesnt for others..

They do say that sleep breeds sleep, and in my little girls case that is the case, Ive always let her sleep as much as she likes during the day and its never affected her night time sleep, in fact its improved it.

How about trying it Jem's way for a week or so and if she still isnt sleeping soundly at night time then try just following her lead and letting her sleep for as long as she wants during the day?

and secondly.. good on you for being such a good Dad and partner to come on here and actually give a S**t enough to ask our opinion.

punk_pig · Apr 5th, 2012, 15:02 PM

I agree she is trying not to allow day and night to get switched.

However I think waking her after 30 mins in the morning is a bit extreme as she wont have completed a sleep cycle yet so it's almost like she hasn't had that nap at all. This may be why she sleeps for so long later on.

If I was ever to wake my LO (I never need to), I'd allow her at least an hour to make sure it really counted.

Donch03 · Apr 5th, 2012, 15:39 PM

Parhaps let her sleep an hour in the morning and then 2.5 hours in the afternoon? Sometimes they wont sleep if over tired but I kinda agree that too much sleep in the day could lead to no sleep at night? My 2 year old still sleeps 2 hours at lunch time...he really needs it and if he doesnt get it can become really grizzly at night. x

stardust599 · Apr 5th, 2012, 16:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ginab

I can see what what jem is trying to do, she's limiting the amount she sleeps during the day so she sleeps longer and more soundly at night time. I think this works for some children but doesnt for others..

They do say that sleep breeds sleep, and in my little girls case that is the case, Ive always let her sleep as much as she likes during the day and its never affected her night time sleep, in fact its improved it.

How about trying it Jem's way for a week or so and if she still isnt sleeping soundly at night time then try just following her lead and letting her sleep for as long as she wants during the day?

and secondly.. good on you for being such a good Dad and partner to come on here and actually give a S**t enough to ask our opinion.

Agree with this! Try Jems way for 5days then try your way of just letting LO sleep.

All LOs are different. I posted a thread about it a while back!

For my LO the saying "sleep breeds sleep" is true. If I only let her have 1.5-2hours during the day she would wake 8-10times a night and be up for the day at 5am. Now if I just put her down when she's sleepy and let her have as long as she wants for her nap even if she's asleep most of the day from 11am-3pm she will still happily go to bed at 7pm and sleep 12hours, she just needs lots of sleep and the more tired she gets the worse her sleep gets!

Apr 5th, 2012, 09:44 AM	#1
Jem88 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Cumbria, UK Posts: 3,363	Why can't my daughter just sleep?? Disclaimer: this is Jems partner using her account, with her consent. I don't understand why we can't just let our 14 month old daughter sleep when shes tired, and be awake when she's awake. She's been up every hour or so every night for the past few weeks. Yet the missus is intent on waking her up after x amount of hours and whatnot during the day. Like right now, she's had two naps today. Jem let her sleep for 30 mins this morning before waking her up. She was about to go and wake her up after 2 hours 40 mins sleep now. Why did she have to wake her up when she was tired this morning, and why does she want to wake her up now? Surely our sleep will be less disrupted if our daughter just slept when she was tired and was allowed to be wakeful when she was awake? 100 years ago, did women really wake up their babies at set times after specific intervals and work like this? Confused OH here, really appreciative of the responses

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2012, 10:08 AM	#2
ChuggaBump Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 955	I have never had a set routine with my LO. I've always followed his lead and when he's tired I put him down for a nap and he sleeps for as long as he's tired. Gradually he has gone from 3 - 2 - 1 nap a day. I can't be much help really because I don't understand the whole "getting in a routine" thing and sleeping at certain times for a certain length of time - I agree with you - if LO is tired he has a nap for as long as he needs. Having said all that, I have had my fair share of issues with LO's sleeping (still do!) and I know that as a tired parent you will try ANYTHING to improve your LO's sleep and your own sleep and sanity. So I do understand why Jem is trying to limit your LO's sleep in the day. But from my experience, nothing works!! Hope your sleep situation gets better!

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2012, 10:23 AM	#3
Mrsmitch80 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Cheshire, uk Posts: 1,498	I know it doesn't work for every child but if I didn't wake my lo from her nap she would sleep all day and be awake all night! She's a bit older now so I'm less strict on her routine but I can't let her have longer than an hour after lunch or she will not go to bed!! I'm heavily pregnant and fell asleep with her on the couch the other day, she only had an extra half an hour but it took 2 hours longer to get her to go to bed!!! I was not happy! Maybe this is what she's trying to prevent? X

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2012, 10:47 AM	#5
LaughOutLoud Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 949	I tried all sorts with my LO re naps and bedtimes and OMG no matter what I did we just didnt have a routine as she was such a terrible sleeper - or rather lack of! Now at nearly 2 and half months we finally have a routine and thats also probably because I gave up on her naps a long time ago. She doesnt nap anymore (not like she ever did) but I dont have the battle to deal with and she is much more pleasant to be around because she just has to go to bed early. I think you should stand by what your OH is doing (not saying you arent) because she obviously is trying to figure out or stick to a routine. I wish my DH had been supportive when I was trying to deal with it all.

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2012, 12:57 PM	#6
k4th Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Preston Posts: 2,271	We have a routine & if my dd has a nap in the morning I wake her after 10 mins!! How mean am I??! You'd hate me! I then let her have up to 2.5 hours after lunch but no more because otherwise she's up in the night wanting to play. It did take time to establish the routine and sometimes it does feel a little unnatural - but for some lo's it really does work! I think your oh is probably trying to prevent your lo getting days & nights mixed up. One possibility if you let your lo sleep lots in the day is very little sleep at night at all. Or a late afternoon nap meaning bedtime is as late as 9-10pm. I know some people have that & really enjoy evenings with their lo, but for me, I enjoy evenings with my hubby. She's probably working really hard at trying to get the sleep mix right for your lo so you can all enjoy a happy little girl. Some babies seem to fall naturally into wonderful sleep patterns and others (like mine) are little b*ggers!! A routine can help with those babies. Hope that gives a bit of insight into why someone might choose a routine

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2012, 14:45 PM	#7
ginab Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Herefordshire Posts: 1,249	I can see what what jem is trying to do, she's limiting the amount she sleeps during the day so she sleeps longer and more soundly at night time. I think this works for some children but doesnt for others.. They do say that sleep breeds sleep, and in my little girls case that is the case, Ive always let her sleep as much as she likes during the day and its never affected her night time sleep, in fact its improved it. How about trying it Jem's way for a week or so and if she still isnt sleeping soundly at night time then try just following her lead and letting her sleep for as long as she wants during the day? and secondly.. good on you for being such a good Dad and partner to come on here and actually give a S**t enough to ask our opinion.

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2012, 15:02 PM	#8
punk_pig Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: UK Posts: 2,422	I agree she is trying not to allow day and night to get switched. However I think waking her after 30 mins in the morning is a bit extreme as she wont have completed a sleep cycle yet so it's almost like she hasn't had that nap at all. This may be why she sleeps for so long later on. If I was ever to wake my LO (I never need to), I'd allow her at least an hour to make sure it really counted.

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2012, 15:39 PM	#9
Donch03 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Buckinghamshire Posts: 216	Parhaps let her sleep an hour in the morning and then 2.5 hours in the afternoon? Sometimes they wont sleep if over tired but I kinda agree that too much sleep in the day could lead to no sleep at night? My 2 year old still sleeps 2 hours at lunch time...he really needs it and if he doesnt get it can become really grizzly at night. x

Status: Offline

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