surely we havnt hit the terrible twos at 13 months! any advice welcome.

DCS · Apr 5th, 2012, 12:14 PM

Omg dillan starting to get attached to things and sobs when you take it of him. We visited our friend today, and he decided he was going to eat and talk to the remote control. So we took it off him..... He got so upset we had to leave.
Anything he isn't supposed to have and we take off him gets the same reaction.

Sometimes he hits, although I think that's out of frustration when he is tired.

He can throw a wobbler over the smallest thing. I keep my phone under my pillow at night and in the morning if he can't see it he screams.

He throws most things.
The word "no" is an invitation to do it again.

Distraction doesn't work, and if it does he calms down for a minute and then crys again.

We are at a loss. No idea how to deal with this.
Any suggestions welcome

Aberrance · Apr 5th, 2012, 12:18 PM

My 10 month old is the same way. Total meltdown if I take something from her.

Guess it's normal?

emzi · Apr 5th, 2012, 14:11 PM

**HUGS**
Sorry no advice, just a quick message to say we are in exactly the same position with our 13 month old.
This week ive been head butted when she didnt get her own way as well as the many temper tantrums when Ive said 'NO'.
Looks like its the norm hun x

Donch03 · Apr 5th, 2012, 14:35 PM

Just dont entertain the behaviour. If you ignore the bad behaviour but praise the good behavior they should start to understand which behaviour get the parental reaction. I also use time out for my 2 year old. He doesnt quite understand it but he knows when he misbehaves thats where he ends up and its so boring tp be there. x

mrsdean2009 · Apr 5th, 2012, 15:05 PM

I could have written this myself!

My little girl has started throwing awful tantrums this week at the drop of a hat. It's very stressful and I've found myself in tears at times. I actually rang the HV in desperation yesterday as I didn't know what to do for the best. Her advice was that it's not unheard of at this age and even suggested it can happen in babies that are advanced in some ways??

She said to put DD in a safe place and ignore her until she calms down, as it will eventually show her that behaving like that will not get her attention. So that's what I'm trying and must admit today's tantrums have been fewer and not as long (one last 20mins the other day!).

I thought I'd have more time before tantrums started so I think its as much about me learning to deal with them as her learning other ways to convey her frustration

Xx

punk_pig · Apr 5th, 2012, 15:09 PM

My LO does this "the world has ended because I no longer have x" screaming. I just ignore the low level whining and distract and praise when she starts playing with something else. But if she is really upset I comfort her and find she's more easily distracted once she's in my arms. I wont give her a time out till she understands why I've taken something off her and at the moment she's just confused she's not at the manipulation stage yet.

hattiehippo · Apr 5th, 2012, 15:18 PM

Tom started throwing tantrums at around 13 months - his were always around leaving places or things finishing that he loved doing. He also would hit when frustrated.

The hitting I tackled by putting him away from me immediately he did it and saying 'we don't hit'. The tantrums about leaving places were more difficult but I used to say 'finished, all gone' with hand actions over and over and also tell him in advance that it was time to go and then count to 5. It took about 3 months to see an impact but it did help.

You could try giving him a warning that you are going to take whatever it is away and then count to 3 or 5 and then take it away. Ignore the screaming but give them help to calm down if they need it or it helps and eventually he will learn that when mummy counts something will happen and also how to control his temper more.

TySonNMe · Apr 6th, 2012, 12:57 PM

I do the same as some of the PPs suggested. It's kinda tough at that age. They're frustrated or don't like something and they can't communicate it well yet. They're also learning their boundaries. Distraction worked pretty well for me, but if he hit, I'd put him down and say 'not nice' and walk away. If you have to take something away from him, give him something else that he can have to play with or maybe a snack. My son also throws when he gets frustrated and when he does I have him go and pick it up immediately. Also, you might toddler proof the room a bit...move all the 'can't haves' up to a top shelf or in a cupboard and put 'can haves' within his reach. My DS loves to try and do what we're doing so if I'm cooking I'll give him a big plastic bowl and a wooden spoon to play with; sometimes I'll pick him up and have him help me stir the pot too. HTH

jojo2605 · Apr 6th, 2012, 13:43 PM

Dylan is the same, if he has something he's not meant to have and I take it off him he has a hissy fit! I generally am careful to not snatch it off him and say no - I say to him 'ta' and then I gently take it from him, again saying 'ta' and then when the strop comes I distract him soemthing else that I know he'll like that he can have! He does get over it fairly quickly!

Apr 5th, 2012, 12:14 PM	#1
DCS Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: leicester, uk Posts: 1,217	surely we havnt hit the terrible twos at 13 months! any advice welcome. Omg dillan starting to get attached to things and sobs when you take it of him. We visited our friend today, and he decided he was going to eat and talk to the remote control. So we took it off him..... He got so upset we had to leave. Anything he isn't supposed to have and we take off him gets the same reaction. Sometimes he hits, although I think that's out of frustration when he is tired. He can throw a wobbler over the smallest thing. I keep my phone under my pillow at night and in the morning if he can't see it he screams. He throws most things. The word "no" is an invitation to do it again. Distraction doesn't work, and if it does he calms down for a minute and then crys again. We are at a loss. No idea how to deal with this. Any suggestions welcome

Status: Online

Apr 5th, 2012, 12:18 PM	#2
Aberrance Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: California Posts: 275	My 10 month old is the same way. Total meltdown if I take something from her. Guess it's normal?

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Apr 5th, 2012, 14:11 PM	#3
emzi Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 387	HUGS Sorry no advice, just a quick message to say we are in exactly the same position with our 13 month old. This week ive been head butted when she didnt get her own way as well as the many temper tantrums when Ive said 'NO'. Looks like its the norm hun x

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Apr 5th, 2012, 14:35 PM	#4
Donch03 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Buckinghamshire Posts: 216	Just dont entertain the behaviour. If you ignore the bad behaviour but praise the good behavior they should start to understand which behaviour get the parental reaction. I also use time out for my 2 year old. He doesnt quite understand it but he knows when he misbehaves thats where he ends up and its so boring tp be there. x

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2012, 15:05 PM	#5
mrsdean2009 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: UK Posts: 86	I could have written this myself! My little girl has started throwing awful tantrums this week at the drop of a hat. It's very stressful and I've found myself in tears at times. I actually rang the HV in desperation yesterday as I didn't know what to do for the best. Her advice was that it's not unheard of at this age and even suggested it can happen in babies that are advanced in some ways?? She said to put DD in a safe place and ignore her until she calms down, as it will eventually show her that behaving like that will not get her attention. So that's what I'm trying and must admit today's tantrums have been fewer and not as long (one last 20mins the other day!). I thought I'd have more time before tantrums started so I think its as much about me learning to deal with them as her learning other ways to convey her frustration Xx

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2012, 15:09 PM	#6
punk_pig Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: UK Posts: 2,422	My LO does this "the world has ended because I no longer have x" screaming. I just ignore the low level whining and distract and praise when she starts playing with something else. But if she is really upset I comfort her and find she's more easily distracted once she's in my arms. I wont give her a time out till she understands why I've taken something off her and at the moment she's just confused she's not at the manipulation stage yet.

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2012, 15:18 PM	#7
hattiehippo Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 3,644	Tom started throwing tantrums at around 13 months - his were always around leaving places or things finishing that he loved doing. He also would hit when frustrated. The hitting I tackled by putting him away from me immediately he did it and saying 'we don't hit'. The tantrums about leaving places were more difficult but I used to say 'finished, all gone' with hand actions over and over and also tell him in advance that it was time to go and then count to 5. It took about 3 months to see an impact but it did help. You could try giving him a warning that you are going to take whatever it is away and then count to 3 or 5 and then take it away. Ignore the screaming but give them help to calm down if they need it or it helps and eventually he will learn that when mummy counts something will happen and also how to control his temper more.

Status: Offline

Apr 6th, 2012, 12:57 PM	#8
TySonNMe Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: NE Florida Posts: 3,653	I do the same as some of the PPs suggested. It's kinda tough at that age. They're frustrated or don't like something and they can't communicate it well yet. They're also learning their boundaries. Distraction worked pretty well for me, but if he hit, I'd put him down and say 'not nice' and walk away. If you have to take something away from him, give him something else that he can have to play with or maybe a snack. My son also throws when he gets frustrated and when he does I have him go and pick it up immediately. Also, you might toddler proof the room a bit...move all the 'can't haves' up to a top shelf or in a cupboard and put 'can haves' within his reach. My DS loves to try and do what we're doing so if I'm cooking I'll give him a big plastic bowl and a wooden spoon to play with; sometimes I'll pick him up and have him help me stir the pot too. HTH

Status: Offline

Apr 6th, 2012, 13:43 PM	#9
jojo2605 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Brummyland Posts: 2,760	Dylan is the same, if he has something he's not meant to have and I take it off him he has a hissy fit! I generally am careful to not snatch it off him and say no - I say to him 'ta' and then I gently take it from him, again saying 'ta' and then when the strop comes I distract him soemthing else that I know he'll like that he can have! He does get over it fairly quickly!

Status: Offline

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