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Old May 3rd, 2012, 13:09 PM   1
mummysturt1
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Not agreeing with OH about managing behaviour


I am at my wits end and feeling like maybe I was never meant to be a mum. Lo is 2 and always on the go. Just lately though me and OH have not been gettin on due to clashing about how to deal with James. For example we was out the other day an James refuses to now go in the pushchair but we still take it just in case. He is on reins as he is always on the move. He refused to walk or be carried so I put him in the pushchair with a lot of resistance but got there. He was screaming a lot but I waited 2 mins then said if he wanted to get out he had to walk. He got out and walke very nicely. OH then said I was nasty for doing that. We should have waited till he was ready to walk. I feel like in scared to control James at the moment as it will be wrong. Any advice x



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Old May 3rd, 2012, 14:20 PM   2
louisiana
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i would have probably done the same thing as you



 
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Old May 3rd, 2012, 14:20 PM   3
_Vicky_
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Just bear in mind they only have to deal with the behaviour a few hours a day (assuming you are a sahm) and you have to ALL day.

I just try and talk it through with OH and we reach a compromise - or alternatively just leave him to deal with the tantrums. I have done that a few times with OH just stepped back and let him do it 9 times out of 10 he will do it his way the first time the. 'accidentally' do it my way the next time xxxx



 
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Old May 3rd, 2012, 14:25 PM   4
LaughOutLoud
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mummysturt1 View Post
I am at my wits end and feeling like maybe I was never meant to be a mum. Lo is 2 and always on the go. Just lately though me and OH have not been gettin on due to clashing about how to deal with James. For example we was out the other day an James refuses to now go in the pushchair but we still take it just in case. He is on reins as he is always on the move. He refused to walk or be carried so I put him in the pushchair with a lot of resistance but got there. He was screaming a lot but I waited 2 mins then said if he wanted to get out he had to walk. He got out and walke very nicely. OH then said I was nasty for doing that. We should have waited till he was ready to walk. I feel like in scared to control James at the moment as it will be wrong. Any advice x
I think you did the right thing. He was screaming because he wanted get out and you told him he'll have to walk and he accepted that. Dont see a problem unless you were just going to let him continue screaming?



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Old May 3rd, 2012, 14:46 PM   5
JASMAK
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I think you need to sit down and talk with your OH and parenting. My husband and I do not parent the same. I am typically more strict. Talking about strollers, for example, my hubby lets K run wild and free pretty much, but when I am around, she tends to have to sit in the stroller or hold my hand. I think, even if you can't get on the same page, you can let him know that when you are around, you feel more comfortable that way. But, whatever happens DO NOT disagree in front of the child. Your child should always see a united front, and you should talk to your OH about that. If he has a problem with something, he should talk to you about it later, away from the child. Believe me...it will BACKFIRE badly as your child gets older, so may as well start now.



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Old May 3rd, 2012, 15:37 PM   6
mrsp14
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Now that dd is becoming more independant me and OH have started to realise we have different priorites when it comes to discipline etc.

My problem is that as a sahm i have to deal with 'the little things' all day... oh deals with it for the two hours hes at home before her bedtime. We have disagreed alot but i plan to sit him down and come to an agreement. Its gona be hard though... OH has a chip on his shoulder and seems to think i dont value his input as a parent. I dont know if this is true but it may well be. OH is forces and was away for four months.... so i did it all on my own and i know that i can.... so i dont really value or require input anymore (thats quite arrogant sounding... i dont mean it to be).

Think rational talking is the only way forward...and as pp said not to disagree in front of the child... easier said than done when its a disagreement about how to deal with screaming child but still... worth it!!!

Good luck.
xx



 
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