TTC but no pleasure with sex - Page 2

Jo_Bean · Feb 24th, 2012, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MindUtopia

I definitely understand how you feel. I'm 31 and have been sexually active and with my husband long enough that frankly the thrill has worn off. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy things once they get going and I do often orgasm, but the idea of sex is not a particularly pleasant one most days. It's kinda like wine. I like wine. I often like it more once I've had 2 glasses. But I don't want it every day and even some days when I should be a good sport and just be fun, I really still don't want it. I think sex is very much the same way (though you know, obviously different). I know when I am on birth control I have pretty much zero interest in sex. When I'm not, it's much better and I'm hoping this works in our favour when trying to conceive. How long have you been trying? Is there a chance you aren't ovulating? Ovulation should generally increase your sex drive. Apart from that, I know there are times when I don't feel super confident about my body and this impacts my interest in sex. I'm not sure I know the solution to this, but I think doing non-sexual or at least non-intercourse related things with my husband has helped. If you feel like you really are having trouble with penetration, there is a condition called vaginismus, which involves the vagina clenching and being unable to relax enough for penetration. There are simple biofeedback treatments you can do to make this better, so if you think that is a problem, it might be worth mentioning it to your doctor.

LMAO! I don't really like wine either, but after a couple of glasses then I too enjoy it much more - love the analogy!

ttc tired · Feb 24th, 2012, 19:37 PM

Ladies, thank you so much for the tips

Just to clarify a few things . I have been married for 4 years but we did long distance until 6 months ago when we first started trying for a baby.I was doing the whole 'saving myself until marriage thing' so my husband is my first . We had not anticipated living apart for so long. It is safe to say that I am not an expert at having intercourse . I don't believe I have ever experienced an orgasm . I guess I am so stressed about TTC and getting it right that I am literally instructing my husband all the while we having sex ! I suppose it is a miracle he still manages

I am going to take a break from TTC this month and try to enjoy myself .

Babydust to all of you

lemongrass · Feb 24th, 2012, 20:30 PM

This is really personal- but do you masturbate? Its important to know how to give yourself an orgasm before you can expect anyone else to. I highly suggest exploring your body!

hello_kitty_t · Feb 24th, 2012, 22:46 PM

My friends & I talk about this stuff and as lemongrass said...you should try to do it yourself. The only time I get off during BD is if I am on top and controlling the moves or if I use my hand, too. Your hubby won't mind I bet.

cancerlib · Feb 25th, 2012, 00:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_kitty_t

My friends & I talk about this stuff and as lemongrass said...you should try to do it yourself. The only time I get off during BD is if I am on top and controlling the moves or if I use my hand, too. Your hubby won't mind I bet.

Same as me, on top and in control,thats how i get my orgasm. I get it too when DH fingers me.

Jo_Bean · Feb 25th, 2012, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_kitty_t

My friends & I talk about this stuff and as lemongrass said...you should try to do it yourself. The only time I get off during BD is if I am on top and controlling the moves or if I use my hand, too. Your hubby won't mind I bet.

He might actually enjoy watching!

LoveCakes · Feb 25th, 2012, 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ttc tired

Ladies, thank you so much for the tips

Just to clarify a few things . I have been married for 4 years but we did long distance until 6 months ago when we first started trying for a baby.I was doing the whole 'saving myself until marriage thing' so my husband is my first . We had not anticipated living apart for so long. It is safe to say that I am not an expert at having intercourse . I don't believe I have ever experienced an orgasm . I guess I am so stressed about TTC and getting it right that I am literally instructing my husband all the while we having sex ! I suppose it is a miracle he still manages

I am going to take a break from TTC this month and try to enjoy myself .

Babydust to all of you

Can you maybe take a month off ttc so you can learn to enjoy sex. It seems for the whole time you've being doing it there's been an agenda. Maybe if there was no point but to have fun it would be easier.

Also, if you're tired at night try doing it in the morning. I'm usually more horny in the morning and you're still in that half sleepy relaxed frame of mind. A good way to start the day anyway. Start at the weekend though, would be hard to explain why you were late for work if you got carried away!

MrsSinclair · Feb 25th, 2012, 06:39 AM

I waited until marriage too, and I too was completely disillusioned about sex in the beginning. It can be very discouraging but it just takes practice. I dont know if it was a placebo effect or what but I took a couple Tylenol Extra Strength with back pain before my first time and that seemed to help a lot!!! (If pain is an issue for you) I wish you the best of luck with your DH and TTC!!

Baby Dust to you!!

Feb 24th, 2012, 19:37 PM	#12
ttc tired Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 13	Ladies, thank you so much for the tips Just to clarify a few things . I have been married for 4 years but we did long distance until 6 months ago when we first started trying for a baby.I was doing the whole 'saving myself until marriage thing' so my husband is my first . We had not anticipated living apart for so long. It is safe to say that I am not an expert at having intercourse . I don't believe I have ever experienced an orgasm . I guess I am so stressed about TTC and getting it right that I am literally instructing my husband all the while we having sex ! I suppose it is a miracle he still manages I am going to take a break from TTC this month and try to enjoy myself . Babydust to all of you

Status: Offline

Feb 24th, 2012, 20:30 PM	#13
lemongrass Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 1,644	This is really personal- but do you masturbate? Its important to know how to give yourself an orgasm before you can expect anyone else to. I highly suggest exploring your body!

Status: Online

Feb 24th, 2012, 22:46 PM	#14
hello_kitty_t Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Iowa, USA Posts: 1,665	My friends & I talk about this stuff and as lemongrass said...you should try to do it yourself. The only time I get off during BD is if I am on top and controlling the moves or if I use my hand, too. Your hubby won't mind I bet.

Status: Offline

Feb 25th, 2012, 06:39 AM	#18
MrsSinclair Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 346	I waited until marriage too, and I too was completely disillusioned about sex in the beginning. It can be very discouraging but it just takes practice. I dont know if it was a placebo effect or what but I took a couple Tylenol Extra Strength with back pain before my first time and that seemed to help a lot!!! (If pain is an issue for you) I wish you the best of luck with your DH and TTC!! Baby Dust to you!!

Status: Offline

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