Fiancé starting to change his mind :(

Dottiee · Mar 20th, 2012, 09:33 AM

Not sure if anyone here has had this problem but I'm could really use some advice.

My fiancé is really starting to change his mind about TTC. We've been trying since October and my last cycle was really long.. Lasted 109 days. After my AF showed up it seemed like everything changed.

He doesn't seem to care about when I'm ovulating or that we're trying to conceive. He's even stopped ejaculating inside me. He pulls out and does it else where. I've tried talking to him to find out what's going on and he always says everythings fine and that he just "enjoys cumming on me". (Sorry if TMI).

I told him that pulling out will make it a lot harder for us to conceive and all he says is "if it's meant to happen it will, regardless of how we do it".

Im not sure what to do. This is really upsetting me. He knows I want a baby more than anything and he's seen what I've gone through when I get a BFN or AF shows up.

Advice or kind words? Anything would be helpful right now

pomeranian · Mar 20th, 2012, 09:48 AM

ahhhhh didnt want to R&R

Sounds like u two need to have a serious chat!! maybe he just needs some encouraging words, my OH tells me often he isnt sure he is going to be a good dad and he has worries about having a baby too. (think i got a very faint

this morning and when i called him he just stopped talking to me and told me he was scared stiff!!)

have you tried NOT telling him when your ovulating etc?? ive read on here how some women find their men get quite 'scared' and performance isnt so good!!

Dottiee · Mar 20th, 2012, 09:52 AM

Congratz on the BPF, hopefully it gets darker for you! I saw your post

I never even thought about scaring him. Maybe I talk about it a little too much and it's stressing him out. I've tried taking to him about it but he seems to avoid the subject.. but also I don't think I try hard enough to find out what's wrong because I'm scared he might say he wants to stop trying. I'll try easing off him for a while and sitting down with him tonight when he gets of work to see if I can find out what's up.

pomeranian · Mar 20th, 2012, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dottiee

Congratz on the BPF, hopefully it gets darker for you! I saw your post

I never even thought about scaring him. Maybe I talk about it a little too much and it's stressing him out. I've tried taking to him about it but he seems to avoid the subject.. but also I don't think I try hard enough to find out what's wrong because I'm scared he might say he wants to stop trying. I'll try easing off him for a while and sitting down with him tonight when he gets of work to see if I can find out what's up.

you prob dont realise you are doing it.......my OH often rolls his eyes cos i do the whole 'well hopefully by then ill be pregnant' etc etc when we are making plans!!

i if hes having second thoughts dont u think it mite be a good idea to have a really good chat?? wouldnt want to end up in a situation where you got your

and god forbid he really wasnt happy about it!! (not saying that will happen just think ing the worst, as i alwyas do!)

have a good chat, clear the air, make some dinner and throw some sexy shapes

and thanks!! im deffo hoping thats my bfp!!

bakingbabe · Mar 20th, 2012, 09:57 AM

I'm sorry to hear that! My DH could never envision kids in his life and it took spending time with our friend's kid to really show him that it wasn't just more work and responsibility. He lights up when she comes running to him and he spins her up high in the air. He'll come around, fingers crossed for you, hon!

Dottiee · Mar 20th, 2012, 10:03 AM

@Pomeranian Haha I do that too.. Once I even tried buying a baby blanket. Thanks for the advice, I'll make him his favourite dish for dinner tonight. Maybe while wearing my French maid outfit lol

@Bakingbabe He didn't want kids either.. Before him and I got together he always told me he never wanted them. Then he saw me take care of his younger sisters and changed his mind. I'm just hoping he didnt go back to not wanting any.

Anna_83 · Mar 20th, 2012, 10:13 AM

Hey, guys sometimes get really scared with the idea of having baby and it is really hard to talk with them about it. I had the same problem when TTC my first daughter. I had to stop talking about TTC and babies with him and just share my emotions with my friends or on forum

So I recommend the same

He told me once that he felt like I wanted to sleep with him only because I wanted to get pregnant! So it might me the same problem...

Dottiee · Mar 20th, 2012, 10:17 AM

Wow! Yeah it's very possible my man is going through the same thing. I'll have to keep all
My emotions for the forum then

Dottiee · Mar 20th, 2012, 10:22 AM

Thank you guys for helping. Seriously helps a lot to get this off my chest.

mzportuguese · Mar 20th, 2012, 11:43 AM

Hello,

I would def have a good long chat with him so that you both have a proper understanding and you both understand each others wants. I was going thru this with my DH because he has another daughter from a previous relationship and I always felt as if when I do become pregnant my child wont have the same attention as his other child but we sat and talked and he explained alot to me and now we are breezy

Mar 20th, 2012, 09:33 AM	#1
Dottiee Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Cambridge, Ontario Posts: 347	Fiancé starting to change his mind :( Not sure if anyone here has had this problem but I'm could really use some advice. My fiancé is really starting to change his mind about TTC. We've been trying since October and my last cycle was really long.. Lasted 109 days. After my AF showed up it seemed like everything changed. He doesn't seem to care about when I'm ovulating or that we're trying to conceive. He's even stopped ejaculating inside me. He pulls out and does it else where. I've tried talking to him to find out what's going on and he always says everythings fine and that he just "enjoys cumming on me". (Sorry if TMI). I told him that pulling out will make it a lot harder for us to conceive and all he says is "if it's meant to happen it will, regardless of how we do it". Im not sure what to do. This is really upsetting me. He knows I want a baby more than anything and he's seen what I've gone through when I get a BFN or AF shows up. Advice or kind words? Anything would be helpful right now

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 09:48 AM	#2
pomeranian Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Suffolk, England Posts: 635	ahhhhh didnt want to R&R Sounds like u two need to have a serious chat!! maybe he just needs some encouraging words, my OH tells me often he isnt sure he is going to be a good dad and he has worries about having a baby too. (think i got a very faint this morning and when i called him he just stopped talking to me and told me he was scared stiff!!) have you tried NOT telling him when your ovulating etc?? ive read on here how some women find their men get quite 'scared' and performance isnt so good!!

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 09:52 AM	#3
Dottiee Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Cambridge, Ontario Posts: 347	Congratz on the BPF, hopefully it gets darker for you! I saw your post I never even thought about scaring him. Maybe I talk about it a little too much and it's stressing him out. I've tried taking to him about it but he seems to avoid the subject.. but also I don't think I try hard enough to find out what's wrong because I'm scared he might say he wants to stop trying. I'll try easing off him for a while and sitting down with him tonight when he gets of work to see if I can find out what's up.

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 09:57 AM	#5
bakingbabe Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 1,307	I'm sorry to hear that! My DH could never envision kids in his life and it took spending time with our friend's kid to really show him that it wasn't just more work and responsibility. He lights up when she comes running to him and he spins her up high in the air. He'll come around, fingers crossed for you, hon!

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 10:03 AM	#6
Dottiee Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Cambridge, Ontario Posts: 347	@Pomeranian Haha I do that too.. Once I even tried buying a baby blanket. Thanks for the advice, I'll make him his favourite dish for dinner tonight. Maybe while wearing my French maid outfit lol @Bakingbabe He didn't want kids either.. Before him and I got together he always told me he never wanted them. Then he saw me take care of his younger sisters and changed his mind. I'm just hoping he didnt go back to not wanting any.

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 10:13 AM	#7
Anna_83 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 67	Hey, guys sometimes get really scared with the idea of having baby and it is really hard to talk with them about it. I had the same problem when TTC my first daughter. I had to stop talking about TTC and babies with him and just share my emotions with my friends or on forum So I recommend the same He told me once that he felt like I wanted to sleep with him only because I wanted to get pregnant! So it might me the same problem...

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 10:17 AM	#8
Dottiee Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Cambridge, Ontario Posts: 347	Wow! Yeah it's very possible my man is going through the same thing. I'll have to keep all My emotions for the forum then

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 10:22 AM	#9
Dottiee Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Cambridge, Ontario Posts: 347	Thank you guys for helping. Seriously helps a lot to get this off my chest.

Status: Offline

Mar 20th, 2012, 11:43 AM	#10
mzportuguese Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: New York Posts: 141	Hello, I would def have a good long chat with him so that you both have a proper understanding and you both understand each others wants. I was going thru this with my DH because he has another daughter from a previous relationship and I always felt as if when I do become pregnant my child wont have the same attention as his other child but we sat and talked and he explained alot to me and now we are breezy

Status: Offline

User Name		Remember Me?
Password