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Old Apr 6th, 2012, 00:50 AM   1
san fran shan
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TTC #1 - my personal journey


I have totally lost count as to the exact number of months we have been TTC. And I never thought I would be posting on here. But after this long, you start to look at things differently. Here is a (not so) brief history...

I have known my husband for 9 years...we met in college and got married 3 years ago. We started TTC about the same time as my best friend who now has a 4 month old little girl after one miscarriage. So we are around the 15-16 month mark if you do the math. Oh, I am 31 and so is my husband.

After about 6 months of TTC, I expressed my concerns to my OBGYN. She ordered some basic tests like the day 3 and day 21, thyroid, etc. All normal. After 10 months, I got referred to the fertility class you have to take before you can see a reproductive endocrinologist. Once through that, I had an HSG done and semen analysis on my husband. Tubes were clear, and my DH's sperm was at the low end of normal, but still normal. All my blood tests were normal.

After meeting with my RE, he was at a loss. When wrapping up, I mentioned that if I squeezed my nipples, there was discharge. He thought it was weird since my prolactin levels were normal, but nevertheless, there was discharge. That is NOT normal. I have never been pregnant in my life, why would there be anything coming out of there???

He put me on bromocriptine 1st which had horrible side effects. Tired, headaches. He said try taking it vaginally, so I did. And BOOM - bacterial and yeast infection at the same time. Eww. So he switched me to cabergoline. .25mg once a week. BTW, I had an MRI like 3 years ago and there is no tumor or problem on my pituitary gland. Been on cabergoline for like 8+ weeks. Discharge gone!

My cycles were very irregular (28 to 40 days) and the cabergoline shortened them up. Almost too short, as my last one was only 22 days. Then I had mid cycle bleeding. Went in for a saline sonogram and there was no problems. The mystery continues.

I had IUI with no drugs two cycles ago. An ultrasound on CD13 showed a follicle ready to go. Subsequent OPKs were neg and an U/S on CD 15 showed the follicle the same size (which was weird). I got and HCG shot and went in for IUI the next day. That round didn't work. Took the next cycle off.

Now fast forward to this cycle. CD 3-7 too 50 mg clomid. CD 10 went in for U/S. One ripe follicle on each side, but lining was kind of weak. Neg OPK next 2 days, then gave myself an HCG shot on CD13. Sunday April 1st, went in for IUI. DH's sperm has impressed the doc both times, so we think his original semen analysis was just a fluke.

Now we wait. And I have a cold which makes it harder to be in tune with what's going on in there. Oh, and I am on progesterone suppositories twice a day. My last cycle was only 22 days and my luteal phase is from 9-12 days, so the progesterone should help extend it.

That is my history. I haven't found anyone with the exact same thing. Normal prolactin levels, yet clear/milky discharge. I guess I am special!! Since I know this is going to be a long wait, I will be back frequently with my thoughts.



 
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Old Apr 6th, 2012, 16:28 PM   2
CountryS2011
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Wow....i feel for you. I honestly hope you get your BFP soon. Im on cycle #2 and I was bummed out after #1 not working. I cant even imagine that long



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Old Apr 6th, 2012, 22:40 PM   3
mrsbuckeye09
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New Stalker...

TONS of baby

I am actually 9DPIUI, I test wednesday to see if it worked or not!...



 
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Old Apr 7th, 2012, 19:38 PM   4
san fran shan
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Thanks CountryS2011

Mrs Buckeye - we are pretty close to the same date. Good luck to us both! How long have you been TTC?

I am hosting a dinner party tonight so I am keeping nice and busy. I still feel completely normal...well I am bloated, but that is pretty normal. I am 8dpo and 7 dpIUI. I guess still too soon for any real symptoms!



 
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Old Apr 7th, 2012, 20:27 PM   5
mrsbuckeye09
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about 2 1/2 years ....I think I am out through!. I tested this morning (10DPiui) and got a BFN...and plus I am feeling cramps like af is on her stinking way .

I hope you get your through!...



 
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Old Apr 8th, 2012, 00:25 AM   6
san fran shan
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Mrsbuckeye - still too soon for the test to be accurate! I know its hard to be optimistic after trying for this long. Are you in the unexplained category like me?

I already feel like I am out just because I have been out so many times. One of my best friends...the one with the 4 month old...told me recently its not happening for me because I don't have positive thinking. I almost lost it. Like oh, if it was just that easy. So its all MY fault because I just didn't will it to happen. Give me a break! I even asked my RE if it was stress that was causing me to not get pregnant and he said after trying as long as I have, its not stress related. So, good and bad news I suppose.

And can I just say that babies are EVERYWHERE. People try to say that I only notice it because now I want it. But its really all in my face like never before. My sister is 4 months pregnant, 3 of my closest friends have babies, every time I log on to Facebook another friend is pregnant or posting an adorable pic of there baby. I am very happy for all of them. But sometimes it gets hard. One night I got upset and deleted my Facebook app....only to reinstall it the next morning. The last thing I want is to be that girl who can't be happy for other people because they are so unhappy themselves. UGH. Oh, and two other close friends had abortions last year and I had to hear all about it. That was hard too.

This morning my husband and I went to visit his good friend who also has a baby. His friend made us breakfast and I played with and fed his baby. Its everywhere!! I am trying so hard not to be bitter. I always put on a happy face, and just bury the negative thoughts. I guess this journal is my outlet to be honest about how I am feeling.

I just asked myself the question: when will I test? The progesterone should prolong my cycle, so I guess I need to just wait the standard time of 14 days after the IUI. I have a bunch of tests at home already. I have never seen a positive HPT in my life. I picture what it will be like. I am sure I will cry, or just stare in disbelief. When I am feeling especially pessimistic, I doubt I will ever get a BFP. Like I will be that weird fluke of a person that has nothing wrong and just can't get pregnant. OOPS, that's not positive thinking



 
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Old Apr 8th, 2012, 08:05 AM   7
mrsbuckeye09
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the had low morphology .....

I know what u mean by being around babies, it's hard! Our time will come and we can be bump buddies ...



 
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Old Apr 9th, 2012, 16:08 PM   8
san fran shan
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I am feeling really hopeless about this cycle today. And very preoccupied with thinking about it. Today is 8 days after the IUI and it is totally normal to feel nothing at this point and still be pregnant. Well, I feel nothing besides tired and bloated. That is pretty standard for me though! I am seeing my personal trainer at 4PM today. My 1st day back after being sick all last week. My RE only said no bouncing activities like jump rope. I hope a good work out will take my mind off things!



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2012, 16:35 PM   9
san fran shan
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I posted my journal in the wrong section of BNB...here is a link to the new location:
http://www.babyandbump.com/ltttc-jou...l#post16935713



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2012, 18:27 PM   10
ashley23ttc
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WOW! I have been having the exact problem with the discharge, thought I was all alone. I am hypothyroid but it is under control now, my prolactin levels are normal but I am still having the discharge! What was the reasoning for putting you on cabergoline?
Glad you posted this



 
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