Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Jul 17th, 2012, 15:43 PM   1
Jleanne
Pregnant (Expecting)
Inactive
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 154

Thinking of donating egg to my mum?


Hi everyone,

I made a post a few days gao about my mum. She is 45 years old and been trying for a baby for the past 3 years. Unfortunately she had a very unhappy and difficult marriage to my dad. He has alot of problems and was very unsupportive through out her pregnancies with myself and my sister so she chose not to have any more children even though she always wanted more.
She has been with her new partner for over 6 years now and they have been trying for a baby for 3 years. He is younger than her and with no children of his own so obviously he is desperate for a family. My mum was quite happy to go along with this as she always wanted another baby, however its proved difficult for her obviosuly with her age.
She is still trying to have a child of her own but i think realistically and according to doctors its a very slim chance she will be succesfull and every month that goes by scares her a little bit more.

Basically i was wondering if theres any one on here thats looked into having an egg donor, has had an egg donor or knows much about the subject. Ive googled the basics, however i cant find any stories of a daughter giving her egg to a mother. I would love to help my mum as she deserves her happiness and has beent he most wonderful supportive mum i could ask for.
I have discussed this with her and thought about it for a few months now.....the good sides the bad sides. Im currently pregnant and due in october so theres nothing i can do just yet, so im using this time to try and research and gather as much information about this as i can. My biggest question is....Does my mums age make a difference in her carrying the baby even if its one of my eggs, or does she still have a big chance of miscarriage? money isnt particularly an issue but dont want to waste money if it would probably have the same result, would a surrogate maybe be better?

Sorry for the essay and all the questions but really struggling to find information on this. Obviously once my mum has ruled out she cant do it by herself we will seek medical advice and speak to a proffesional but any advice in the meantime would be much appreciated

Thanks for reading



Status: Offline
 
Old Jul 17th, 2012, 16:33 PM   2
Donna210369
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Hampshire uk
Posts: 839
what a wonderful daughter you are

I don't suppose there is a lot on the internet regarding this particular situation because I imagine it's not very common. But you certainly wont be the first to do it. The age of your mum doesn't matter so much when it comes to a donor egg. The only problems are with hormone levels, estrogen and progesterone and also the thickness of her lining. But if they are an issue, there are many things they can do to resolve those and they would make sure the environment was optimum before they implanted an embryo. I am 43 and when I enquired about donor eggs I was given a 50 -60% chance of success, so i'm assuming it would be about the same for your mum.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and all the best with whatever decision you make to help your mum x



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jul 17th, 2012, 18:33 PM   3
vintage67
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 2,404
I think it is a wonderful thing that you are considering. However, from the emotional side of things, perhaps an annonymous donor egg would be best.

I wish your mother all the best.

I gave birth to my son in November at the age of 44 and I'm 45 now. It took 4 years and 3 miscarriages to get there. Certainly not impossible at her age, but it can be a heartbreaking road, and I know how lucky I am.



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Jul 18th, 2012, 04:28 AM   4
Jleanne
Pregnant (Expecting)
Inactive
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 154
Thankyou both for your replies on the matter,

Thats really good news that you think she will be able to carry the baby herself. She still has normal periods and did a test this month to show she is ovulating which i think is a good sign. She booked to see a proffesional and fingers crossed she can go ahead to have a baby of her own. However If this isnt an option im almost certain in my decision. I do understand there will be an emotional tie, but i have always been and feel i always will be very close to my mum. As i say she has done alot for me and my partner. My biggest concern was how he would feel about it as this is our first baby and technically i will have another child that has no relation to him. But hes very understanding and we all agree it would be for the best to explain things to the little one from the start....as in essence he or she will be the sibling of my little boy thats due in october.
I know its deep territory and before we commit to a decision we will speak to a proffesional of all the pros and cons. But if it wasnt for my mum i wouldnt be here living the amazing life i have now.

thanks again ladies for your hasty replies!!!

all the best



Status: Offline
 
Old Jul 18th, 2012, 05:29 AM   5
Donna210369
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Hampshire uk
Posts: 839
when i spoke to the genetesist about donor eggs, he told me that only 20% of the final baby is from the donor mum. The dad obviously has 50% and the recipient mum gives that embryo all her proteins and blood, which enable it to become a baby. There is evidence to show some children have inherited a breast cancer gene from their recipient mum (so just goes to show how much crossover of chromosomes there are). Hope this helps x



 
Status: Offline
 
Old Feb 4th, 2014, 10:24 AM   6
pixi3fae
Other
New BnB member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1

planning on doing the same


hi, i wanted to know if you actually did it? i want to do the same thing for my mother and i wanted to know if you were actually allowed to do it? i went to the fertility clinic today and they told me that it might be an ethical issue.



Status: Offline
 
Old May 8th, 2018, 15:21 PM   7
hairdo1
Trying to conceive (TTC)
New BnB member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1
Hi ladies, I wondered how you are getting on, did you make a decision on whether to go forward? There are examples where women have tried to do this for their daughters in Canada. xx



Status: Offline
 
Old May 14th, 2018, 14:13 PM   8
mermaiddance
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 33
i conceived at 45.

i know a lot about egg donation...firstly - you reall must find out if it is legal. different countries have different specifications and can be very specific about donor eggs and sperm for that matter.
check that first.

id also suggest reading up on egg donors and how they felt afterwards, years later, decades later. if you can give this as a gift, can give it away or have any attachment.

i conceived single. i used donor sperm. anonymous completely. in my view (each one of us must and does have our own view, so i use this as example) this kind gentleman who is totally nameless/faceless to me, gave some cells for me to have a family. i do not feel him as our family or as my twin's dad. he gave something of his body, away. like a kidney donor,etc.

you'd have to check how you'd feel, now and in 5 years, 10 years. also what would you tell the child. again, i do not think there is anything "right" here, just your own foresight of what story (meaning no lie, but still how to tell facts) do you share with the child and when?

giving a gift of our bodies to help another is, from my angle, so truly beautiful. how will you embrace all outcomes if you do this?

firstly - legalities tho - research that!
also - YES! a healthy woman at your mom's age has a GREATLY increased chance of conceiving with donor egg. and can surely carry the child. a doc can tell her after some testing for sure. also - test HIS SPERM! bec why do all this to improve the egg unless you know 100% that the other factor is perfect /or/good enough to count on!

PM me if you'd like any other counsel.

good luck!



Status: Offline
 

SEO by vBSEO