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Old Jul 4th, 2013, 07:06 AM   1
Kat S
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40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!


Hi, everyone! I'm 42 and trying for our first. I had one miscarriage in January. You can see my signature for the rest of the story.

**While we generally love to hear about pregnancies 40+, this thread is for those on the journey. If you just found out you are pregnant and are over 40, please don't join this thread just to announce your good news. Most of us have been trying for over a year and have endured many painful days and nights, and this thread is for support. While we're happy you were successful so quickly, it ends up making us feel even worse about our own situations. Thank you for understanding.**

I thought I'd start a thread for ladies who have no other children as I sometimes find it difficult when the conversations in the TTC boards veers away from TTC to talk about the member's other children. I feel bad, but sometimes it hurts when I come here for support and everyone is talking about what grade their oldest is in or ideas for a birthday party for a 3 year old. I'm happy for them that they were successful and were able to have children, but I'm really here to talk about TTC, not how to deal with toddlers.

The other issue is age. It's much harder to get pregnant over 35 (as we all know!), so it's nice to be on a thread where half the participants aren't young 25 year olds who announce their BFP after 7 posts. Those threads can leave me feeling discouraged and sad.

I hope a few of you will join me!



 
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Old Jul 4th, 2013, 13:21 PM   2
BabyHopes1974
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I turn 39 this month do you mind if I join? We have had three iuis and I've never had a bfp. We have only a 3 percent chance naturally each cycle. Right now we are at the difficult decision to adopt or do more treatments. I agree that it is different for us that are older and have no kids yet.



 
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Old Jul 4th, 2013, 14:41 PM   3
Kat S
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Babyhopes, welcome to a safe place to talk!

Your situation sounds most pressing! Wishing you lots of luck this cycle!!



 
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Old Jul 4th, 2013, 15:10 PM   4
Emmi
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Hello all - I am 42 and I am trying to conceive for the first time. We have been married a year and started trying straight away - we are about to hopefully embark on IVF/ICSI.

Some days - all I do is cry over the whole thing - it all seems to so unfair sometimes. Trying to stay positive is a never ending battle - all so very hard sometimes.

x



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Old Jul 4th, 2013, 21:21 PM   5
Juniperjules
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Hi Girls, I'm 39 in December & were ttc our first baby too. I've never been pregnant at all. So Kat, I think you said it very nicely, there are lots of threads in here for talking about lots of things- and each thread has its place. It is quite different to be our age & never have had any children & wanting some support from other girls who get it. I totally understand that ttc is hard work & painful for girls who might b trying for number 2. But for us, (and I'm not trying to be a downer), but the reality is that we worry about the chance of NEVER getting the opportunity to be a mum, & what impact that will have on our relationships, lives, families etc. it can change the whole course of ur life. My OH is an only child, so his mother is desperate for us to have a baby, my parents only have me & my sister, if I don't have a baby it affects them too. There are many things that are different if you don't have even 1 child yet.

So I agree Kat, it's good to be chatting to like minded girls about it all. And there's loads of threads in here, room for everyone!



 
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Old Jul 5th, 2013, 10:54 AM   6
smb44589
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Hi Girlies

I'm 42 (43 in March). Met my wonderful boyfriend 2 years ago online. But due to us living apart, it wasnt practical for us to be pregnant then. But we will be moving in together in August so the baby making can begin. I have now gone into full time panic mode that i've left it too late. I've always wanted children but unfortunately met a string of loser boyfriends so things didnt go that way. I hope we are all successful with a quest to become mummies.



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Old Jul 5th, 2013, 11:47 AM   7
Kat S
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Welcome, Everybody!

Yup, we're all in a rough place and either have already endured a hard, ongoing journey or are just beginning one. I wish I had truly understood from the beginning how hard this would be. Juniper, yes, you said it so wonderfully...we're different because there's the very real fear that we will never be mothers at all.

I hope we all get our BFPs soon and that we endure no more heartache!!



 
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Old Jul 5th, 2013, 11:50 AM   8
Kat S
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I have an update on my situation. This is my 6th time trying for IUI. Due to dwindling baby making funds, we had to switch from using Bravelle (injectables) to stimulate the follicles to using Femara for 5 days and then using a lower dose of injectables to save money.

Well, it would seem my new med protocol worked! Usually I go in for 2 or 3 follie checks before they are mature enough. I went in for my first one today and I already have THREE mature follicles all at 18mm!! WHOA!!

Sadly, when I came home to tell DH, he informed me he had a "private" moment after I left for my appointment. RATS!! They like his swimmers to be 48 hours old, so now I'm afraid his sample will have a rather low count tomorrow. Well, I have three follies, so maybe that will help counter balance a low sperm count. I guess I can't have everything work out perfectly. Murphy's Law. And I have to remember that those three follies might not contain good eggs, either, but I hope they do.

So IUI #6 tomorrow morning at 9:30am.



 
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Old Jul 5th, 2013, 12:03 PM   9
Emmi
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Ahhh - isn't that the way - nothing ever works out quite perfectly but still - it's sounding positive!!! Woop to that!
Isn't the money a worry - we are scrabbling the money together for IVF/ICSI - I may have to sell a kidney at this rate!!!!

The latest stress I have to deal with is that even though hubby and I are not on exactly well off at all but not on the breadline either - his sister has been mouthing off if we could even afford a baby! Seriously - as if we need that kind of stress. And of course - these people are the ones that already have children!!

Beg your pardon - rant over



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Old Jul 5th, 2013, 12:19 PM   10
Kat S
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Oh, Emmi! Your sister in law needs to mind her own business!! Some people think that unless you raise children EXACTLY the way they do (or did), that you're just doing it wrong. Just because you aren't rich doesn't mean you can't afford a baby. Sure, some economies will have to be made, but it's nothing you can't handle! I hope your DH tells her that you appreciate her "loving concern", but that it's not her business and to SFU. *innocent smile*



 
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