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Old Aug 11th, 2017, 10:45 AM   8181
Wish2BMom
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alleke - sounds like you've already adopted the lucky bugger! just a note that cats also purr when they are stressed, so the vet trip may not have been as dreamy for him as you think but I'd like to think he was reveling in the attention and care!! My heart would absolutely break and I'd probably have taken in 10 of them by now. I'm SUCH a cat person, thank god I don't have allergies!
That's so interesting about the politics - and I laughed at your response. I'd be the exact same.
As far as the symptom spotting and testing - go for it!! I used to called it S4 - Super Secret Symptom Spotting. Trying to avoid it at all costs but how can you ignore that pang you just felt or the massive headache you woke up with?? It's sooooo hard!!

miki - I like all of Alleke's suggestions! I have a friend from BnB who I'm closer with now who actually had a girls weekend instead of a shower. She went home to AZ and she and some friends just did a spa weekend. She loved it!!

well, speaking of showers, we finally nailed down the date for mine and I feel SO MUCH BETTER now that it's done. 10/21! now that's all I'll have to do with the planning. except maybe say that we'd love a book (I always thought this was cute touch instead of cards) and hand-me-downs are WELCOME!!



 
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Old Aug 12th, 2017, 01:27 AM   8182
Alleke
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Wish, we’re not planning on having him here forever. As much as I would love to, it’s a tradeoff in overall health for me. Even with drugs, I’m more prone to colds and other minor illnesses. I love kitties, but it takes a toll on my quality of life.

I didn’t know that cats purr because of stress! He was definitely stressed, but he also is genuinely appreciative of attention.

As for the cat, he’s not very comfortable here. Yesterday, he hid. Today he is wandering and jumping on things. I think he misses his friends. On the bright side, the injured side of his face is healing some. The swelling has gone down, and he can open his eye, so now he walks instead of staggers, and he can jump on things (windows with screens that easily push out and our TV table...hmm). He’s neither graceful nor well, but I’m amazed at the difference a couple of days of medicine is making.

He is snuggly and loving. I think that the peace has helped, also. (He just fell off the windowsill and huddled up in a ball as I was typing.) He peed on the floor next to the box I prepared for him.

In all honesty, I think the best course of action is to host him a few days and take him back out. At the same time, I feel guilty for thinking this. I do want to have him neutered, and I posted an ad for a home, but I’m skeptical, due to the number of cats here. What do you think? I love cats, and I have traded having one for health before, but after bringing this guy in, I don’t think it’s a good fit for him. I guess we’ll know more in a day or two.

---

I tested this morning, but I used the br in the night, so it wasn’t concentrated fmu. Pure white.



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Old Aug 12th, 2017, 11:43 AM   8183
Vonn
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Alleke--how sweet you are for taking in the injured street cat! I must say that I think compromising your physical health in any way is not a good idea while TTC, esp if you are putting in the time, effort and money for ART (assisted reproductive technologies). You want everything lining up in the best way possible. That's my (apparently) cold-hearted opinion. Have you seen the cat movie yet?

Wish--so glad the baby shower situation got figured out! And I can vouch for wanting to get things taken care of early. I am still working on thank you notes for the showers that were just before I went into the hospital. It would have been nice to get all that done, but luckily people are very understanding! I can't recall if you have answered this question yet, but are you finding out babies' sex?

Miki--I love all the celebration ideas people have thrown out. And I totally agree you should be proud of your pregnancy and share it widely, if you want. It's a bummer that your mom is caught up on your use of donor egg and that prevents her from wanting to share your pregnancy news. My immediate family, some close friends and my boss know about our use of donor eggs, but no one else does. Some more know we struggled for years and used ART. We aren't ashamed, but it also doesn't feel like the most important detail. I truly hope for your sake and for your mom's that she comes around and decide even if the donor egg thing is a little weird, she can still get pumped for a sweet and much-loved and wanted grandchild. I know you have a complicated relationship with her, so this just might be her way. I hope not, though.



 
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Old Aug 12th, 2017, 12:36 PM   8184
mikihope
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TTC- Boo to AF! I hope AF stays away for you next month. Thank you so much for your kinds words and advice regarding my mom’s attitude. I wish I could dare to announce it to family, but really, my mom controls that. Luckily, my sister is super excited, and she says that she is going to buy us either a stroller or a crib, plus she’s checking to see if she has any hand me downs to give us. Yeah, so true – it’s our baby and not hers. We’re excited, and DH will announce to the rest of his friends and family next week (we’re waiting for the results of our anatomy scan on Monday)!

Wish- Thank you for your support, cheerful as usual! I agree, epigenetics is really an amazing thing. I accepted the fact that I had to use DE early on, because of my age, but it’s still something that isn’t common and requires some getting used to. My mom’s issue is beyond DE, she also doesn’t like DH’s “humble” family background. It doesn’t matter to her that he is an amazing husband and that we are so happy together. Oh well, too bad she wants to wrap herself up in negativity instead of being happy for her daughter.
Yay for hearing your little ones’ heartbeats! Swoosh is such a cute nickname! Too bad there wasn’t a scan, but 9/1 isn’t too far off. I’m glad your shower date is set, and now you can relax and enjoy yourself.

Wicky- Hehe, sorry for being a bad influence! Oh no, I’m so sorry that you had such an emotional day at work. But then…. Being emotional is a symptom I’m so glad that you feel happy and safe here, I feel the same, it’s such a great place with caring people! Oh yes, it suddenly feels like the clock is ticking. For some reason, it’s suddenly feeling a lot more “real”

Alleke- Thank you for your support and ideas! Sadly, my mom does control the channels of communication with relatives back home, and I will be the “bad one” if I dare announce my pregnancy. The pampering is a good idea, I’ll look into that. Virtual shower is another great idea, but I think I’m already overwhelmed with what I need to get done!
Like you, I have moved around a bit, and it seems to make it harder when family feels far away and not on your side. It sucks for you that some of your close relatives disapprove of your marriage, just because of religion. I’ve been through situations like this, because I don’t follow the norm back home. Even if your relatives never come around, at least you are happy in your marriage, and you have each other! And kitty at the moment… how sweet of you to take care of him.

Vonn- Nice to hear from you! You must be floating on a cloud of euphoria these days! I hope you are getting enough rest, though. Thank you for your support, and for sharing your story. It’s nice that you managed to tell people close to you without being made to feel guilty or ashamed. Sadly, my mom is who she is, and there is no changing it. She really only wants me to be someone she can show off, and she is obsessed with rich and famous people. I feel super happy with my life choices… until I see how she reacts to them. It’s a trigger for me. DH and I are very open-minded, so we’ve been super happy with our DE journey, and we don’t mind letting people know if the subject comes up.

It’s sad that my own mother can’t be happy for me or even care much for my feelings, and yet the kind people on this thread can do that. As always, she makes me feel kind of ashamed of my life choices, unable to tell family my news. This has taken away a chunk of my excitement and joy. She did the same thing for my wedding. Anyway, I’m not letting her “win”. Her shame is her own -- I love my life, and I am very happy with my choices, and with the person I am! And it’s super cute to feel little gummy kicking around in my belly Phew, this was long. I struggle to keep up with this thread, it’s moving fast (which is a good thing)!



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2017, 01:50 AM   8185
MsRipple
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Off and on third tri insomnia is here! Dr. tells me he won't let me go past my due date given my highish blood pressure (which is on the higher side of average but holding steady for now) and baby's size, which notoriously inaccurate growth scans have estimated to be ginormous (96% head size....ouch). Dr. seems to be preparing me for the possibility of a c section, which I really do not want. I cried about it last week, but I we will just have to see how things play out.

Miki- I'm sure I'm totally overstepping boundaries here, but perhaps your currently as big of a swingline stapler baby will help you set firmer emotional lines with your mom. Sometimes allowing people to control things like telling family about pregnancy can insidiously influence our own emotions about a situation. You should shout your pregnancy from the rooftops if you care to do so .

TTC - Bellamy is so cute . Sending positive little brother/sister vibes as well

Alleke - My husband and I have adopted a number of strays that have just showed up at our house. I do try to impose a maximum total number of cats however.

Terri - how's the house - any renter update?

Vonn - I'm so happy things are working out for you in the total chaos of having a baby and moving at the same time



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2017, 05:39 AM   8186
terripeachy
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I called a property management company and I'm meeting with them on Tuesday. Hopefully after I sign a client in PA. yeah! With has been super stressful and I'm not sure I made the right decision in leaving. I'm not the best saleswoman but I do like going it and talking to people. It's tough transitioning into'do you have $ yours like me to invest for you?' that doesn't come as naturally.

I hosted a sip and paint on Thursday and that was a lot of fun. Hopefully I can get one or two clients out of it, but these things take time and I don't have a lot of time.

Sorry I'm not more upbeat but I am reading and I'm happy for everyone.

Miki-have you considered taking to a professional? You are a grown woman and to have your mom still ruling your life while you are in another country isn't helpful. It's bringing you down big time and that's not how you should feel now. I'm sure your co-workers would be so excited if you told them and they showed you how great America is when we find out someone's pregnant. Please invite me to your virtual shower.

Time to get to work.



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2017, 07:59 AM   8187
Wish2BMom
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terri - you're so cute! I'm so happy that you're meeting with a prop mgmt company!! Hopefully you'll like what they have to offer and they can take some of this off your shoulders. Ours is a godsend. AND they find new tenants and evict the bad ones. Worth the 10% of the rent a month!!
I think you're brave for giving your industry a shot. There is a lot of money to be made. I'm sure you just have to find your right 'elevator speech' that feels real to you and is impactful to those listening. I'm positive it's a learned skill, and you sound like you're making all of the right moves to better yourself at it.
Perhaps polling a few of the ladies that chose not to invest with you? Maybe ask what about your pitch was not striking enough? Any feedback on that might be worthwhile and help you shift where you need to. Just an idea...

vonn - so happy when you're able to hop on! how are things going? b-feeding going well? when do you guys move?

miki - I get you, and I'm so sorry she rules with such a heavy iron fist from so far away. I'm glad you're happy with your life decisions. I don't think I could have someone like that in my life, though I understand the conflict of it actually being your Mom. Sigh. to you! I love that you're feeling gummy, though!! I'm still a little in the 'is it? or maybe it's not...' phase of flutters. I put my hand on my stomach when I feel them to see if I can feel from the outside but nothing yet. Can't wait for that! How are you feeling otherwise?

alleke - yeah, I'd agree with Vonn that if your overall health will be compromised, then a short stint with kitty until he's better would probably be best. And if you're willing, I think neutering him would be a blessing. There are so many b/c none are fixed! Though that might make him more of a homebody! Overall, though - I think what you're doing is awesome. And I'm sorry for the white stick. Boooooo for that.

mrsripple - you're so close!!! a foot long sub?? I've got 2 cans of soda to go along with it! How's the house - are you all ready??



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2017, 09:03 AM   8188
Wish2BMom
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oh and yes, vonn - we'll find out the genders hopefully on 9/1 at the anatomy scan! DH caved!!



 
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Old Aug 14th, 2017, 21:34 PM   8189
Wicky78
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Hi, ladies! Glad Monday is in the books and we're on to Tuesday (or some of you have been on Tuesday for a while already LOL)!! A lot has happened since I last posted, so this is a long one... sorry!

Alleke - I totally hear you on the testing and wondering if there's a bean in there or not. I finally broke down and tested, but it was stark white. Even though I know that doesn't mean I'm out, it's hard not to feel some sadness/disappointment at a BFN, even if it's early. I hope you still get your BFP and it doesn't require too many more pure white tests
Also, I love that you are helping the kitten and keeping mindful about your own health. I've heard that feeling drawn to other baby mammals can be a sign of early pregnancy - in fact, one of my friends adopted a kitten while she was pregnant, but before she knew it!

Miki - I am sorry to hear how difficult your relationship with your mom is, at this time when having a supportive mom can mean so much. I struggle with my mother, but for the opposite reason (she can't keep her mouth shut and tells everyone everything!), so I don't have any great advice for you. I'm sure that you will find ways to be happy for your growing family and cope with your mom's way of being right now. I'm so glad your sister is excited! Also, I love the idea of a virtual shower for people in your life who aren't necessarily local or able to travel for an in-person shower! I am considering doing something like that, since I have friends and family all over the place... it might be fun for them to feel like they get to participate. Is your OH getting excited, too?

Vonn - I love that you come back and visit, when you must be so busy with the new LO and your upcoming move! I hope being a mommy and getting to know your LO is a wonderful experience for you and you and your family can be on together!

MsR - Third trimester already?! Congratulations! But sorry about the insomnia. That sounds like no fun I hope you can find some ways to get rest, even if it's not all in one chunk at night. Maybe the universe is preparing you for being a new mom in a few months? I don't think that's a very nice way to do it

Terri - good call on the property management company. I hope they can help you by taking care of the pesky parts of rental properties! How are things going with getting clients? I am in awe of your courage to step into that role, as I think any kind of job that requires self promotion with an actual sales pitch would be my worst nightmare. It is just so opposite to how I am that I can't imagine doing it every day, but I respect anyone who can do it honestly, and do well! Funny that you mentioned a sip and paint - my DW just discovered these and is champing at the bit to go to one. The funniest part is that she doesn't drink and wants to find one that is alcohol free... I had to explain that the whole premise is that you sip (an adult beverage) while painting, so she probably isn't going to find one without alcohol unless she hosts one herself LOL. What did you paint? I hope it was as fun as it looks!

Wish - I'm still giggling about your 2 cans of soda and MsR's footlong sub. Can you send those over here? Haha! I'm so excited for you about your scan on 9/1. Do you or DH have any preferences about the sex of your babies?

Hello to TTC and others I didn't mention!

AFM - I've been quiet for a bit, while I wrestled with symptom spotting and whether or not to test. I am glad to be back - I realized that it was silly to try this on my own, when there's a wealth of experience right here! The symptom spotting got a bit out of control - not so much from spotting too many symptoms, but obsessing over whether they are signs of impending AF or of pregnancy. DW convinced me that I needed to start testing, so we did that over the weekend. I've tested three times now, all with stark white results Okay, so I know it's still early and I'm not out, but it is a bit soul crushing to see no change on the tests day after day. But DW seems unfazed.

This morning, when I tested, I just knew it was going to be a bust, but I wasn't as disappointed. I did, however, begin getting a little dismayed that many of the "symptoms" seemed less today. Then around lunchtime, I visited the bathroom and had EWCM-like mucous tinged with pink on the toilet paper. I am not sure if this is an unusual start to AF (two days early), or implantation bleeding. Dr. Google's responses make me lean toward implantation bleeding, but I am really worried AF will strike in full force tomorrow. I don't really know what to think, and being patient is getting more difficult, now that I'm at the end of 13DPO/IUI. I am also feeling a bit down because DW is going out of town tomorrow, so if AF shows, I'll be here alone to deal with the disappointment. On a more positive note, my co-worker gets back from vacation on Wednesday, so only one more day of flying solo at work!



 
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Old Aug 15th, 2017, 08:48 AM   8190
Wicky78
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Just a quick update/vent... AF is due today or tomorrow. Tested today, BFN. My RE said to test at 14dpIUI (today) and call with results, so I did, and even though AF hasn't come yet, the nurse said I'm out since I tested negative and that she's ordering my next cycle's meds today. I am really disappointed because I thought I still had a chance, but she said that if it's negative at 14dpIUI, there's no way I could be pregnant and AF is on the way. Meanwhile, the spotting has stopped and I still have twinges and stretchy feelings in my uterus area, so it just makes me feel worse. Maybe AF will come tomorrow and I'll be able to move on. Right now, I'm just really sad. I know you ladies know how that is...



 
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