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Old Apr 22nd, 2017, 02:15 AM   961
Sophie2015
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Mitchnorm- your story sounds similar to mine. I can get pregnant, establish a HB, then MC. It's assumed it's an egg quality issue even with my clotting issues (which hematologist questions if it was ever a factor in my losses, thinking it was a risk to me not baby). Regardless so frustrating to conceive then lose.
I haven't tested today. I'm starting to feel like my symptoms are just a fluke or like RE thinks the eggs fertilize, briefly implant, then can't maintain cell division. He thinks I've been pregnant way more than I've realized.
At this point I really don't let myself dream about actually being pregnant. That way there's no disappointment. It just wasn't meant to be I guess.



 
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Old Apr 22nd, 2017, 04:51 AM   962
AngelUK
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That sounds so gutting!



 
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Old Apr 22nd, 2017, 08:26 AM   963
CaliDreaming
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I hope you get a surprise bfp. It must be so hard not knowing exactly what is causing your miscarriages. I know they say old eggs but that doesn't seem to be the whole story.



 
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Old Apr 22nd, 2017, 17:29 PM   964
mitchnorm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sophie2015 View Post
Mitchnorm- your story sounds similar to mine. I can get pregnant, establish a HB, then MC. It's assumed it's an egg quality issue even with my clotting issues (which hematologist questions if it was ever a factor in my losses, thinking it was a risk to me not baby). Regardless so frustrating to conceive then lose.
I haven't tested today. I'm starting to feel like my symptoms are just a fluke or like RE thinks the eggs fertilize, briefly implant, then can't maintain cell division. He thinks I've been pregnant way more than I've realized.
At this point I really don't let myself dream about actually being pregnant. That way there's no disappointment. It just wasn't meant to be I guess.
I always wonder whether it's more heartbreaking getting pregnant and losing or never getting pregnant at all......suppose I'll never experience both. After seeing heartbeats in 3 of my mc's it was soul destroying. I don't feel IVF can solve my problem....maybe donor eggs but we are not going that route .

I really hope you get your bfp and it's a sticky one x x x



 
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Old Apr 24th, 2017, 04:45 AM   965
Sophie2015
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Mitchnorm- I'll never know that answer either. But I think never getting pregnant would be harder. At least for me. I'm thankful for all five times I got to see those double pink lines and the four times I saw those heartbeats. I'll never forget that joy even if it didn't last.

I haven't tested since 11dpo but it was bfn and I suspect I'll start right on time Thursday. Not planning to test again.

I'm contemplating giving up. I said I'd try naturally until I'm 45 but that's 5 months away and I'm starting to think even if I did get another bfp I'd have another mmc. I'm just not sure I want another loss to derail my life for a 6th time (actually 7th because the loss of our embryos which thrived until day 6 was devastating).



 
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Old Apr 24th, 2017, 07:18 AM   966
CaliDreaming
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So sorry about the bfn Sophie. ☹️ I hope you are able to have peace with whatever decision you make on continuing to TTC.



 
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Old May 27th, 2017, 15:37 PM   967
mumoffive
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Just popping on to say there is always hope I was 43 when i conceived my little girl who is now 6!!!! I am finished with ttc now [ 49] but wishing you all the luck.



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Old May 30th, 2017, 15:53 PM   968
Jenny Bean
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Just popping on to say there is always hope I was 43 when i conceived my little girl who is now 6!!!! I am finished with ttc now [ 49] but wishing you all the luck.
This is very encouraging!
Any other ladies on this thread having any luck?



 
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Old May 31st, 2017, 09:19 AM   969
CaliDreaming
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Hi Jenny!

Well I've gotten onto the "two and through" bandwagon with dh! It's slowly dawning on me that I have everything I need in my life right now to be happy and if we stay at two, we can all have an incredible life. Lily is starting to get into a lot of activities, and Ethan will be starting some soon. If I have another baby, I'll have to miss out on a lot of stuff and Lily and Ethan would not be able to have all the opportunities they do now.

As much as I would love a third child, that would require major sacrifices that I don't think I am prepared to make. I would have to pull Lily from activities and none of them would be able to do everything I'd want them to do. The financial side is a huge driver in my decision too...the thought of paying for daycare/aftercare for three...OMG. Since I am pretty much the only one wanting a third child...it doesn't seem fair that everyone would have to make such major adjustments because of my own desires. I'd rather be the one to sacrifice than my family.

Also, I've never really had baby fever. I can't see myself going through the infant/toddler state again. The diapers, maternity leave, formula, daycare, the tantrums...I just can't! Ethan just turned 3 and I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Soon they'll be able to do all sorts of cool activities and stuff together. We'll be able to take real vacations and enjoy it instead of having to plan around caring for a baby. Maybe if I could get pregnant and give birth to a 4-year old I could do it, lol. I don't want to wait another 5 years to get the freedom from the rigors of those first few years. We just moved and I shocked myself by how easily I threw out old baby stuff--the car seats especially. I just kept thinking wow, if we stay at two kids, in one year we'll never have to hook up another car seat again! I just threw everything out and didn't even look back.

Even though it's clearly the best thing for our family, I'm a little sad about the decision. I'm relieved and excited about the next phase of life, but a part of me feels that I've "failed". Hopefully in time this will feel more like a choice and not like something that was imposed on me due to circumstances. It also doesn't help that everyone seems to assume that I am done. I'd like to feel like this was a choice that I freely made--not something I had to do because it was expected. I also hate that it comes down to finances. Whenever I tried to budget for a third kid, it really got me down. Sometimes I feel like I chose material things over a child. I think subsconsciously I am already "there" but it may take a little time for my heart to fully catch up.



 
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Old May 31st, 2017, 09:34 AM   970
TTC74
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Jenny - I'm 42 and had a baby on valentine's day. It was a natural conception after 2.5 years of trying and 2 losses.



 
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